A wonderful topic.

I do think a father has a say but I feel like it's putting HUGE pressure on the woman to keep the baby and be a mother. For men, they don't have to go through the 9 months, sickness, appointments, and labor so they are mostly driven on the fact that they want a baby. For women, it's MANY things. Not being ready for a child, it was an "accident," they don't care enough for the man they slept with to go through with the pregnancy, family, religion, morals (children before marriage, etc), and many other things. In a relationship where it might have been a hook up, a not-so-serious relationship, one night stand, or anything like that...the man's say is really just him voicing an opinion that might go in one ear and out the other. Personally, I wouldn't listen to them too much. It's my choice. They don't have to go through the physical and emotional side of it and, for all they care, the baby just pops out of my vag and all the rest is history.

Married couples is tricky. It really depends on the number of kids or if this is their first. My friend just convinced his wife that they should keep their child and, after some time, she has never been happier. He says that she is most likely the happiest woman he has ever seen to be pregnant. She can't wait till she gets bigger so she can paint her belly and feel the baby moving and kicking. They don't have much money, and that was the problem, but he has gotten a second job and they are going to work through it. He said the sex is pretty awesome since they don't have to worry about fiddling with condoms anymore (the baby was an accident, condom broke and they don't want to use plan B or birth control pills).

But in the case of they have "enough" kids (let's just throw out the number 6 as enough) and the husband is all like "Come on, more!" It's really terrible to try to convince someone like that if she clearly doesn't want anymore kids. But if she goes through and has the kid, it can create problems but if she goes through with the abortion, the husband can feel a little resentment towards her and it could lead to more problems.

I have seen the case all too many times to where the boyfriend/husband doesn't want a kid but the woman does and that's just wrong. For the man to have to go through with paying child support for so many years is horrible. I do think there needs to be a better system in place for child support. My mother has a friend who has been screwed over by child support repeatedly and it's really a lose-lose for those who have to pay it. Randomly, even after 18 years, someone can decide you still owe $10k and they will get every penny out of you from your bank accounts and savings accounts (seen it happen). There are almost no father's rights when it comes to child support. Whether guys sign the birth certificate or not, it can be hell for them if the woman help the child but they clearly didn't want it. Now, a guy who signs the birth certificate should be held responsible because at some point in time they did want the baby but if they didn't sign it, men shouldn't have to go through with debt/not being able to make enough to live on/jail time because they spread their seed yet she decided she wanted to keep it to spite him showing no interest in being the baby's father.

If the woman is extremely religious/finds it WAY against her morals for an abortion, a guy should respect that even after his opinion is voiced and she has listened but again, if she shows no interest in being the baby's father/not continuing the relationship, he shouldn't be held liable for child support.

All in all, I do think men should have a say but they shouldn't expect more in the realms of her listening (there are only so many eggs we get) but I do think laws should be reflected that shows whether or not the man initially intended to be a father to the baby or not rather than a DNA test then 18 years of having checks cut short or not being able to pay at all because the men had no intention of getting a regular paying job. There are too many men in jail because of a woman's choice and I feel like that's not right.

I do think a woman has a right to choose, but there should be consequences to her choice that don't make a guy barred to that baby for life if she herself made that choice to keep it.

I agree with Experiment, until there are ways to control sperm and the act of sperm reaching the egg more than condoms (men can't completely trust a woman if she says she is on the pill and all of the best chemical methods are for woman) or going through with surgery to get his testicles removed, it can't be completely left up to her. But you can't simply take away a woman's rights completely and stop her. So more family laws need to be put in place to protect men from the consequences of her choice.

In my honest opinion, a man can't possibly understand what it feels like to be pregnant or give birth. A woman can't just "walk away" from the situation the way a man could (he has to pay child support, big whoop.) The woman is the one who has to carry the pregnancy for 9 months and deal with the physical changes and intense emotions for all that time... and that's a hell of a lot! She has to go through labor and pain. Think about all the emotions, fear, health risks, and pain the woman has to go through. Women go through SO much. Plus there's a lot of shit to deal with after the baby is born like breastfeeding, physical pain and changes, hormone crazy emotions, body image issues, ect ect... All the guy really has to do is sit back and enjoy the show. Actually, he doesn't even have to show up for the birth if he chose not to. Yes, that sounds harsh but that's how I see it. His job was over 9 months ago when they had sex. The woman's job is far from over. The woman is ultimately the one that has to carry the burden if the man chooses to leave. I find that equal rights between the man and the woman is FAR from equal.

Obviously it's important for the couple to discuss their options together. Hopefully they agree on the same choice. In circumstances where they don't agree it's still the woman's choice because it's her body on the line.

As horrible as it must be for a man to know that a woman is going to abort the child he wants, possibly even out of malice, I don't think I could ever condone a court forcing a woman to carry a child to term. I believe too much in the importance of individual liberty to mandate what someone does with their own body, and deprive them of that control.

On the flip side, if a man didn't want the baby and the woman did, then forcing her to get an abortion would be too emotionally traumatic to ever justify it. Unfortunately that does mean he'd be stuck paying child support for a child he never wanted, but the reason we have child support laws is so single mothers don't became a burden on the state when they can't support themselves. If you helped make the baby then I'm afraid it's going to be your responsibility as a man to pay for it, and not the tax payer. There might be an argument for means testing the child support though. If the man didn't want the child and signed away his rights before it was born, and the woman was financially independent enough to take care of herself and the child, and never require state support, then it seems only fair to excuse the man from making contributions.

Really it just makes me glad to be gay, so accidental pregnancy will never be an issue.

I do think the feelings of the father should at least be considered, but he shouldn't have final say.