The New Intimacy

Question for WOMAN only, please. Anal Sex Request...is it a make it or break it in a relationship?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
If you desire anal sex as a part of your love life, would you or have you, accepted a long term relationship or marriage to someone who simply will not indulge in anal play?

If you don't like anal and have a relationship with someone who wants it, would you break off from that person because of their desire to indulge in that activity? Does your husband or long term significant other "nag" you about wanting it, even if you don't?

Have you ever extracted yourself from a relationship because of that reason? If you stayed in that restricted relationship, without ability to feed your anal sex craving, or not want any anal sex, if you are on the other side of the fence, has that caused friction?

Do you "hope" one day your NON Anal Sex partner will change their mind, or if you don;t like anal, that your partner who does will just "give it up and respect that you are NOT going to "go there"??? Do you really think that is going to happen?
01/02/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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01/02/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
It's not a make or break in our relationship. We experiment around and don't do it very often, but he doesn't nag and I don't nag so we do it if we want to and don't when we don't.
01/02/2012
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
Luckily, we both enjoy it. I do like it more than he does though. It's not important enough to me that I would end a relationship over it.
01/02/2012
Contributor: Mihoshi4301 Mihoshi4301
I don't think it would be a make it or break it issue for me.
01/02/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
If one partner is not going to accept the fact that the other does not want to, then I could see how that could add pressure to the relationship. Luckily my relationship was not like that.
01/02/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I would not end a relationship simply because the guy didn't want to do anal with me.
01/06/2012
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I've never been in a position to "end" a relationship if anal wasn't part of it, because, well, honestly, because it comes up usually before the relationship is too serious.

But yes, it is the kind of thing where I won't go on a second or third date if a guy finds anal distasteful.
01/06/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
It would only be make or break for me if either partner were completely and totally inflexible in their stance. I never tried anal or even thought of trying until my current partner. I was definitely willing to give anal play a try (and found out I don't mind it at all ), but he also made it clear that it was NOT a deal breaker for him either way.
01/06/2012
Contributor: Sapphires13 Sapphires13
If I am otherwise satisfied with a partner (mentally and physically), I would not end it over one sex act that won't happen. I would search for compromise, but ultimately learn to live with whatever I had to.
01/06/2012
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
Not a deal breaker for me, there is so much other fun stuff you can do
01/06/2012
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I won't do anal since I tore in a big way when I tried it years ago. Thankfully the hubs has never asked for it.

If I were dating, it would only be a dealbreaker if he insisted on it and didn't respect my refusal/inability to do it (under doctor's orders.) I would take that as a sign of lack of respect for me or severe sexual incompatibility.
01/06/2012
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
I don't think a thing like anal should be a make or break in a committed relationship. Maybe having better communication or simply understanding on both parts that it will or won't happen. If someone else is pressuring you then explaining the problem and stating boundary's might work.
I think if I really loved someone and knew it made them uncomfortable I wouldn't mind not doing it.
01/20/2012