The New Intimacy

Does your significant other know that you have or use sex toys for self pleasure?

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Contributor: mlmac mlmac
My wife doesn't know that I use sex toys or even own them. Although, if she did find out one day, she definitely wouldn't understand , but I'm sure she would accept it, as long as I use them in private.
Just curious what other couples relationships are like when it comes to using sex toys.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
No, he or she does not know.
4  (3%)
Yes, he or she does know, but does not use sex toys themselves.
50  (37%)
Yes, he or she knows because we both use sex toys.
80  (60%)
Total votes: 134
Poll is closed
02/20/2012
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Contributor: cjvr cjvr
I checked yes he knows but doesn't use them himself only for the fact that not until recently has he actually even tried using a toy. He does use them on me but for his own personal use, I have just started trying to introduce them to him.
02/20/2012
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Yes, he definitely knows. That's not a secret I would want to keep - because using toys together makes our sex life better. In fact, I'd say probably approximately half my toys were gifts from him!
02/20/2012
Contributor: Ilovelingerie Ilovelingerie
I checked "Yes, he or she does know, but does not use sex toys themselves."

but soon I wan't to change that to
"Yes, he or she does know, and I use toys on him too!."
02/20/2012
Contributor: TitsMcScandal TitsMcScandal
I use sex toys. My collection is too large to hide and honestly not something I would want to hide. I've tried getting him toys too, but he is uninterested. I think it has to do with the fact that he rarely masturbates and when he does it is usually at work (where sex toys wouldn't be easy to store/hide). He'll use my toys on me as foreplay sometimes though.
02/20/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I don't know how I would manage to hide the amount of toys I have. Even if I could I wouldn't. I'm very honest. My husband didn't use toys until recently (at my constant prodding).
02/20/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
My husband knows and he doesn't have a problem with it, he always lends a hand and use the toys on me during foreplay. I wish he's willing to let me try toys on him also, but he's totally against it!
02/20/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
He was that one that got me into sex toys to start. Oh, I love him so...
02/20/2012
Contributor: sarahswallows sarahswallows
Quote:
Originally posted by mlmac
My wife doesn't know that I use sex toys or even own them. Although, if she did find out one day, she definitely wouldn't understand , but I'm sure she would accept it, as long as I use them in private.
Just curious what other couples ... more
most of our toys are for couple play
02/20/2012
Contributor: 0bpwfb4U 0bpwfb4U
Quote:
Originally posted by mlmac
My wife doesn't know that I use sex toys or even own them. Although, if she did find out one day, she definitely wouldn't understand , but I'm sure she would accept it, as long as I use them in private.
Just curious what other couples ... more
My boyfriend bought my first vibe for me actually. We're pretty open about sex and good about communicating so I pretty much tell him everything. I wouldn't be able to keep it from him especially since we use vibes during sex.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
We share sex toys all of the time, but rarely use them without the other.
02/20/2012
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
He knows, has seen them, we've used some together.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
She knows, she wants to use them against me when we're together again. I'm perfectly okay with that.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I buy all her toys and mine - so the inventory of toys is clear'y known and used by us both.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by mlmac
My wife doesn't know that I use sex toys or even own them. Although, if she did find out one day, she definitely wouldn't understand , but I'm sure she would accept it, as long as I use them in private.
Just curious what other couples ... more
We are BOTH here, Mr and Mrs Bignuf and we DON'T get this. A marriage is all about trusting more then ANYONE else on earth. A big part of marriage IS the sex and intimacy. How would you hide things in your own home from your wife. More important, why should you???? We shop here together. We enjoy toys TOGETHER. No secrets, no stress. Why not tell her you have a surprise and give her a basket of NICE sex toys to play with WITH her. Then later, if all is cool, bring her HERE and SHOW her EF. In fact, tell her you want HER to help you buy toys together. Tell her your always found the concept of toys a "turn on".
If the idea never warms her up, at least you have been open. Then you can simply say "I am getting some for me, even if you don't want to use them". BINGO. Honesty. So long as you are not in some horrible financial situation, there should be no real objection. If she says "why do you need THEM, since you have ME", the answer is simple. They are a device, not a lover. They are something to keep my motor running so I CAN love YOU better. Good luck.
02/20/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
My husband introduced ME to sex toys, they were his idea. I think he knows. He likes to ask if I've been using them on my own, (we have sex very frequently and I don't really use them alone a whole lot, some, but not daily) and he seems disappointed if I say I haven't used any on my own recently. He gets off on my using them, on his using them on me and even hearing about my using them by myself.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I buy all her toys and mine - so the inventory of toys is clear'y known and used by us both.
It's all about sharing. Except when the dog wants to pluck one out of the drawer and chew it. Then, we get selfish. She has a BIG basket full of her own toys, in TWO different rooms!!!!
02/20/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Hallmar82
We share sex toys all of the time, but rarely use them without the other.
Same here. It is a COUPLES thing. Neither of us "plays alone".
02/20/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by mistressg
He knows, has seen them, we've used some together.
Even more fun to SHOP for them together. Then there is the anticipation of waiting and a HOT session of TRY EM OUT when they arrive. Yahooo.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by 0bpwfb4U
My boyfriend bought my first vibe for me actually. We're pretty open about sex and good about communicating so I pretty much tell him everything. I wouldn't be able to keep it from him especially since we use vibes during sex.
Ha, ha. Hubby just said that, like tonight, when he was all the way in my tushy with his love tool, it would have been very hard for him NOT to realize I had a sex toy in my front door, since it was buzzing so hard he said his teeth were about to chatter!!!!
02/20/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Ilovelingerie
I checked "Yes, he or she does know, but does not use sex toys themselves."

but soon I wan't to change that to
"Yes, he or she does know, and I use toys on him too!."
We both use toys on each other. Almost never alone. He was away for a couple weeks to a professional conference and I did play with my rabbits alone, but that was a couple times in 32 years!!!
02/20/2012
Contributor: hiroshiro hiroshiro
We both use sex toys by ourselves and with eachother.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
Yes, he definitely knows. That's not a secret I would want to keep - because using toys together makes our sex life better. In fact, I'd say probably approximately half my toys were gifts from him!
You sound like the perfect couple to shop EF together. it is SUCH fun, and a turn on. We are almost ALWAYS together when doing our Facebook and our EF time.
02/20/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by mlmac
My wife doesn't know that I use sex toys or even own them. Although, if she did find out one day, she definitely wouldn't understand , but I'm sure she would accept it, as long as I use them in private.
Just curious what other couples ... more
He knows and uses them on me, but doesn't use toys himself.
02/20/2012
Contributor: Undead Undead
Quote:
Originally posted by mlmac
My wife doesn't know that I use sex toys or even own them. Although, if she did find out one day, she definitely wouldn't understand , but I'm sure she would accept it, as long as I use them in private.
Just curious what other couples ... more
Yes because we both do
02/21/2012
Contributor: Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by mlmac
My wife doesn't know that I use sex toys or even own them. Although, if she did find out one day, she definitely wouldn't understand , but I'm sure she would accept it, as long as I use them in private.
Just curious what other couples ... more
Yes he knows because we both have them and he got me my first
02/21/2012
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
Of course. It's called honesty.
02/21/2012
Contributor: catgirl9 catgirl9
Yes he knows because we talked about it before buying any toys. He doesn't use toys himself, but we do together.
02/21/2012
Contributor: mlmac mlmac
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
We are BOTH here, Mr and Mrs Bignuf and we DON'T get this. A marriage is all about trusting more then ANYONE else on earth. A big part of marriage IS the sex and intimacy. How would you hide things in your own home from your wife. More important, ... more
Well it looks like I'm in the minority here and to be expected. I guess the main reason I hide my toys is the possible negative reaction I might get, but then again, it might be a positive one. Reading all these wonderful posts has prompted me to approach my wife and spill the beans about my toys, because it is called honesty. It'll be a few days before I see her again, so that should give me alot of time to think about my approach.
Mr and Mrs Bignuf, you have some wonderful ideas and I may put them to use.
I really love the idea of the basket and showing her EF.
02/21/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
He doesn't use toys himself, but knows I use them and sometimes we use them together, but usually I'm left to finish alone.
02/21/2012