My spouse wants to try anal... Help!

Erin, welcome to Eden!

I sure can't answer your question any better than Mr. Willy did! Maybe by exploring anal play alone first, you can decide if it's something that you like... or something you'd prefer NOT to explore any further.

I'll also give my experience with anal play: the first couple of times, my small "first plug" felt just plain weird. I wasn't used to having that kind of stimulation in that area. For me, it took about 3 attempts to get used to the stimulation and actually realized it felt good.

Just to let you know, you may try it and think "this feels weird, not for me"... and that's totally fine. But if you really want to keep exploring, it might take a few tries to get used to it and begin to enjoy it. Still, all in your pace and at your desire only.

It's normal to be apprehensive about anal play if you haven't tried it. You've already done some research about it...maybe before you try anal intercourse, you should look into some anal toys that are geared more toward first timers. That would be a good stepping stone to see if you enjoy that sort of thing and would help ease you into it. It takes awhile to get used to those new sensations and teach your body to relax muscles that you're used to keeping clenched.

My personal experience: I tried it with an ex in college. I was super scared, but did want to try it. We tried with minimal lube or preparation, I know not the best way. He got it about a half inch in and I screamed and jumped halfway across the bed. After he saw that it was hurting me he never asked again! Some men just don't realize that I think.

But then again, I know that some women love anal (I just am not one of them) so perhaps you may enjoy it more than you think you will!

Lube lube lube lube. I love anal and my husband loves giving it to me. Make sure to be open minded (it sounds like you're getting there) and relax. Help him guide it in too.

Are you sure you want to try it at all? You don't seem too sure...

If you are, I would definitely follow indiglo's instructions of trying a finger and small toy first, especially if you are nervous.

Lots of good suggestions so far!

I learned how to give anal from a girlfriend who taught me how to do it to her. Her method is as follows: one finger, two fingers, scissor the fingers--and finally, penis. I've used this method with great success.

As others have said, start with some good lube. All we had back then was KY, but there are many options now. Some prefer water-based lubes, others prefer silicone. A thicker lube is usually best. Use plenty of whatever you choose.

Start with one well-lubed finger, a pinkie if necessary. If inserting it makes you too tense, just rub the outside until you can insert it without tension. Your husband's tongue can also help you relax this way. Since he's the one who wants to try anal, I think you'll agree it's the least he can do!

Once you can fully insert one finger and still stay relaxed, wiggle it around and move it in and out. Once that's happy, add more lube and go for two fingers. It may take you days or even weeks to get the first finger (or maybe just minutes, depending on how well you can learn to relax), but the second finger should be a lot easier. Again, try wiggling and moving them back and forth. This will help you to relax and you'll begin to understand the tremendous pleasure potential of anal stimulation.

When you've got both fingers in to the second knuckle or so, scissor them back and forth. Keep scissoring and move them in and out. Go wider with your "scissors" and rotate 90° and back.

When you can stay fully relaxed with two fingers inserted and scissoring (especially if they're your husband's fingers), you should be ready for his penis. Apply more lube and also apply it to him. The easiest position for most folks to relax in is the side (spoon) position, so I'd recommend trying that first. You may find you relax easier on your back, or even on your stomach. Whatever position you choose, put your hand(s) on his thighs or hips so you can stop him if he goes too fast or deep. If it does hurt, have him withdraw, then wait 30-60 seconds for you to relax again. Never be afraid to add more lube. When he is able to fully insert his penis with no pain, you may be shocked to realize how good it feels.

If you take your time, you'll probably learn to love anal. My wife was very skeptical at first, but now it's one of her favorite things. Have fun!

You know what everyone has said is awesome! Let me just tell you that I was also once terrified of anal...and although I have had temperamental experiences with it, my anal orgasms have been some of the best I have ever had! I know it's scary, but if you go slow you might just find you absolutely love the sensation! Best of luck to you =D