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Best toys for beginner for anal?

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Contributor: Dovahkiin73 Dovahkiin73
Hello,
My partner and I are interested in having anal sex, but his penis is just far too big to start with. Every time we try it is too painful, then if we try to take it slow his penis doesn't stay hard enough to go in. Overall, it's a very frustrating process. I want to start using a toy to adapt to the feel of having something go in and stay in, but I'm not sure where to start.
Thank you for any suggestions!
05/05/2015
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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05/05/2015
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
The best way to start is with a finger and plenty of lube. After warming up with a finger, you can insert a beginner-sized anal plug, still with lots of lube, to loosen up your anus even more. After getting used to the anal plug stretching your cavity, you can let your partner insert his penis into you slowly, and again, with plenty of lube. Tell him to wait several seconds before he starts thrusting gently.

Here are two choices of anal plugs you can try:
Mood Naughty 2 in size medium (1" diameter)

Mood Naughty in size large (1 1/4" in diameter)

These Mood Naughty brand anal plugs are made of body-safe silicone. They both have a long and narrow neck making them stay in place properly after insertion. They also have a wide base to prevent the entire plug from slipping into your anal cavity.
05/05/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
How much experience with anal play do you currently have? If you have little to no experience, I'd follow Rossie's advice. Start small and use lots of lube. Begin with a well trimmed finger and progress to larger items from there. If you don't want to trim your nails, you can use a finger cot to go over your finger. Don't forget to lube that puppy up too before you insert it!
05/05/2015
Contributor: Dovahkiin73 Dovahkiin73
Quote:
Originally posted by Rossie
The best way to start is with a finger and plenty of lube. After warming up with a finger, you can insert a beginner-sized anal plug, still with lots of lube, to loosen up your anus even more. After getting used to the anal plug stretching your ... more
Thank you for your suggestions! That is something I was worried about, having a plug/toy going completely into the anal cavity. I have seen some products on the site that are listed as anal safe but doesn't seem to have a very flared base. That would be terrible!
05/05/2015
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Quote:
Originally posted by Dovahkiin73
Thank you for your suggestions! That is something I was worried about, having a plug/toy going completely into the anal cavity. I have seen some products on the site that are listed as anal safe but doesn't seem to have a very flared base. That ... more
Yes, the plugs with only a small ring handle can be dangerous! The Mood Naughty plugs are reliable.

Don't forget Inquisitor's suggestion to trim the nails or use finger cots.
05/05/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Dovahkiin73
Hello,
My partner and I are interested in having anal sex, but his penis is just far too big to start with. Every time we try it is too painful, then if we try to take it slow his penis doesn't stay hard enough to go in. Overall, it's a ... more
The mood naughty large is the shape/style I started with. I had a couple of different sizes so that I could progressively increase size and get used to the feeling. It helped 110% and didn't take long to get to the point where I could comfortably accept my husband. I'm a huge fan now .

As the other members mentioned; lube, lube, and more lube . Good luck!
05/05/2015
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
As the others have suggested there are some key elements:

1. Go really slow. When you feel pain - stop and go back. You either need more lube or more time.

2. Don't mistake pressure for pain. The proper opening of the anus for penetration involves pressure - that is what you learn to enjoy.

3. There are two sphincter muscles - outer and inner. Make sure that both are well lubed and opened slowly.

4. A lot of not penetrative anal/perineum stimulation can help you relax. This will inevitably result in finger penetration - keep reapplying lube.

5. Once you can tolerate - even enjoy 1 finger, move on to a second finger. If your partner has large hands, coarse fingernails or is just too impatient; go from one finger to a smoothly tapered toy. My wife's favorite is the Tantus B-Bomb.

6. Once the the B-Bomb settles past both sphincters, just relax and enjoy the sensation and vibration. Have your husband keep up the foreplay by stimulating other areas. After a few minutes you can ask him to start gently moving the plug in and out. Not all the way, just so you can feel the pressure increase and decrease with the diameter of the toy.

7. Whenever the plug pops out - either on purpose or not, reapply lots of lube. I'm not that large, so whenever the plug can be easily moved in and out, my wife is ready for me to penetrate her. Especially early-on, once I feel her second sphincter yield to me - I stop to allow her to adjust to my presence inside of her.

8. I do not begin moving until she says its OK. Footnote - after a few months of regular anal sex - this all gets much easier. Thrusting should progress from slow & shallow to deeper and faster - on your direction. Help your partner by providing a ton of feedback. Tell him what's working and what's not. Don't assume pain will go away - when you experience pain - go back one step and find an enjoyable place to be.

9. Later on we found that using a lube shooter that gets the lube deeper inside which makes deeper penetration with a penis or dildo mush more comfortable.

10. Even after initial penetration it is likely that you will need additional lube. There is a trade of here. The lube will help your comfort level - but it requires an other penetration - so remember to relax for the second penetration and make sure your husband stops after each penetration before thrusting.

It has been a huge surprise to me how my wife's view of anal sex has evolved. She has gone from no-way to 'f-ck my ass now' in light speed. I hope you find your comfort zone and can begin to enjoy this wonderful sharing experience in the very near future.
05/07/2015
Contributor: CuriousJ CuriousJ
As always, good advice from other posters. One thing that really helps as far as my research suggests, is being/staying aroused. Arousal is really good for getting relaxed and being relaxed is really good for starting the arousal feedback loop. The brainbox is the key to good sex
05/14/2015