Most people who have used any of the Feeldoe line of dildos (or any strapless strap-on) will tell you that they are easier to use with a harness, but not impossible without one. Read my review of both the Realdoe and the Feeldoe Violet, I've been told they are quite helpful, as have been other people's reviews as well. And always browse the forums for your question before posting it, as this has been asked and answered several times. That's always your best bet! Good luck!!! ^_^