She is scared to have an orgasm....

I've never experienced this, myself.

Does she have a history of bad sexual experiences (I ask this, because sometimes bad sexual experiences, where men and women are shamed about their bodies, can lead to a disinterest or fear of sexual satisfaction)?

Have you climaxed in front of her, to kind of give her a visual that it's not a big deal and there's nothing wrong with it?

I don't know that you can really "change" her mind, but being a safe, supportive haven for her can only help her and you to learn to release her fears. less

I've been through something similar. I went through a phase where somehow I didn't honestly feel like I should be permitted to be pleased. Not really sure why guess it's a control issue. I would get so frustrated at myself because I would literally shut down as I began to climax. I could still continue to please Hubby but there was nothing more for me. It was almost always while I was being intimate with Hubby. Solo I was fine because I'm the one in complete control.

I think fantasizing was the way I got over it. In the bedroom Hubby takes the submissive. Everything done is completely up to me and done how I want it but he likes it that way. That control issue again. One of my fantasies was that he step up and be dominate and push me to the brink but then I'd have to wait for him to tell me I could cum. Took me a long time to ask him to do that and honestly the first few times was almost comical as opposed to effective because the man is dominate in every other aspect of our life except the bedroom.

Trusting him enough to give him that control over me was very hard. I'm still working on my control and trust issues. Not sure it's even possible for me to allow him to put me in bondage but that's my next goal. One would think after 22 years together it wouldn't be like that, God knows I love and trust him, but I guess when things happen at young ages they stay there in the dark and our minds reflect it.

I've managed to find a balance and now dominate or not I wouldn't consider letting myself shut down. But I'm the one who had to find an answer and deal with it. Hubby wasn't a part of me coping with it because I simply never allowed him to know any different. I tend to mask many of my own issues.

You have the advantage of open communication. Be supportive and honest. Good luck. less

You might also suggest she pleasure herself to bring about her first orgasm. She may be able to relax enough to get there if she is alone. Also for many women the sensation they have right before an orgasm is similar to the feeling that they need to pee. She may be worried about peeing when she orgasms.

You should have her watch this link as well as anything else you can find for her to watch/read about the female orgasm. She may feel more comfortable when she knows what to expect. less

It's likely that the feeling is very overwhelming. She is probably concerned that she can't handle the initial rise to the release well. There are moments where the feeling is just too much sensation, and she may be going through this. Once she has had her first orgasm, the others will be easier (and more pleasurable). less