How should a man finger a woman so that it does not hurt?

How should a man finger a woman so that it does not hurt?

symbiasin symbiasin
Like, I am not a piece of wood to be sandpapered to death. And when some men try that, they wonder why you didn't cum. Guys. are you rough?
02/22/2015
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symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
Like, I am not a piece of wood to be sandpapered to death. And when some men try that, they wonder why you didn't cum. Guys. are you rough?
Anybody? From the experiences I've received, some guys need educating. Or am I just too sensitive and feel pain too easily? It's hard for me to get into it when a guy that I like does that though.
02/22/2015
Inquisitor Inquisitor
LOL, most if not all those guys haven't done it to themselves first. Am I rough? I sure hope not. That wouldn't be pleasant and cause most if not all recipients to want to stop. This post isn't too long. I'm sure you guys are getting tired of my long winded posts.

I'm sure there is more than one way to accomplish this task, however, I've found success with first, communication. No surprises. Everyone should be on the same page here.

Next, some if not lots of foreplay your way, it helps warm up the area and relax the person receiving this stimulation. This can include activities as simple as verbal stimulation i.e. "dirty talk", where you tell the receptor exactly what is going to happen in excruciating detail, and as exotic as rimming. It can be some of the above or all of the above, but, it should include something.

If rimming isn't an option for you due to either the donor/giver's or receiver's/receptor's feelings on the issue, then you will want some water based or silicone based lube. Personally, I like to gentility massage in some water based lube with the pad of a finger in a finger cot onto the sphincter. Applying just a little bit of pressure till the receptor becomes more comfortable. I also re apply lube whenever it is necessary because this type of lube can be absorbed by the body.

After this, if I get the green light, I slowly insert my very well lubed finger cotted finger by using the point of my finger for penetration. I leave it in and don't move it till the receiver feels comfortable.

Once this happens, I usually withdraw the finger and add more lube. Why? I want to try to coat the walls with lube to make my partner more comfortable. Also, if the receiver wants some thrusting action, it makes it easier to handle.

If the receptor wants a toy inside or something larger, also lube up the toy. Remember water based lube is compatible with all toys and necessary with silicone and Silicone with glass/wood/steel/etc.. .
02/22/2015
symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
LOL, most if not all those guys haven't done it to themselves first. Am I rough? I sure hope not. That wouldn't be pleasant and cause most if not all recipients to want to stop. This post isn't too long. I'm sure you guys are getting ...
Thanks for answering. I found the guys here are more knowledgeable and want the process to be pleasurable to the woman.

But what about giving a finger job to a woman.....that is where they tend to get unnecessarily rough, near the clit and vagina. I read that the clit is made up of the same stuff as the head of a penis.I do not think they would appreciate the same treatment and then me asking why don't you come.

I guess that I had changed the subject somewhat, getting off the ass and wanting to cum through the pussy and clit.
02/22/2015
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
I never go straight in. It's always better to do other foreplay first. Tit fondling, kissing, clit rubbing etc. If it's not wet do more foreplay. When the time is right it is right. Perhaps you could suggest him to use some lube. If he has rough skin, tell him you rather not and ask for some oral instead.
02/22/2015
Inquisitor Inquisitor
I'm a Big Fan and supporter of giving oral on any day that ends in "y" and three times on holidays. There are other ways to stimulate though. Not every guy is into it as I am though. You might be the kind of woman who likes light kisses on her back, shoulders, legs or neck as preparation. It could be tickling, good conversation, the gentle caress, good company or something altogether different. My point is, "There is more than one way to skin a cat". The key is to take your time and make sure the oven is preheated.
02/22/2015
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
I'm a Big Fan and supporter of giving oral on any day that ends in "y" and three times on holidays. There are other ways to stimulate though. Not every guy is into it as I am though. You might be the kind of woman who likes light kisses ...
Oh, I love that, "Preheat the oven!" Reminds me of a previous gf. Talk about a hot oven ! Boy, was it ever good !! I'm sure her husband has no complaints.
02/22/2015
symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
I never go straight in. It's always better to do other foreplay first. Tit fondling, kissing, clit rubbing etc. If it's not wet do more foreplay. When the time is right it is right. Perhaps you could suggest him to use some lube. If he has ...
Good idea!
02/22/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
I'm a Big Fan and supporter of giving oral on any day that ends in "y" and three times on holidays. There are other ways to stimulate though. Not every guy is into it as I am though. You might be the kind of woman who likes light kisses ...
Love the analogy ; ) Between you and ITG...IM first in line for when you guys write your How To manuals lol There's my 1 good thought for the day ; ) I'm done thinking now.

Seriously , though, great advice.
02/22/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Oh, I love that, "Preheat the oven!" Reminds me of a previous gf. Talk about a hot oven ! Boy, was it ever good !! I'm sure her husband has no complaints.
Dude... you so did not say that lol See, another reason I love these boards. You guys are crazeballs lol
02/22/2015
Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
Dude... you so did not say that lol See, another reason I love these boards. You guys are crazeballs lol
Never tease a crazy person, you never know what you are going to get. And yeah, I did say that.

I'm here to learn also. I will be watching this thread because I'm sure there are other ways to accomplish the same goal. What is the goal? Maximum Pleasure!
02/22/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Never tease a crazy person, you never know what you are going to get. And yeah, I did say that.

I'm here to learn also. I will be watching this thread because I'm sure there are other ways to accomplish the same goal. What is the goal? ...
I haven't been disappointed yet. Too much good stuff is flowing through!!! Crazy is obviously working.
02/22/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
From a girl's perspective, I say the slower the better, at first. It's not a race to the finish. I like Mr. Mans to take his time and savor what he has. Soft caresses to begin with, then moving to more firm. I don't like it if he moves straight in for my clit. I like to be caressed around the hood first, then some inner and deep strokes inside (a little thrusting is good as he his using his palm to keep my clitoral area aroused). Now is usually a good point to lightly rub my clit until I start to wiggle and shake. This is the GO light for him to kick it up a notch and send me over the edge. Keep doing that, along with the finger thrusts inside on my G, O O Ommmmaaaaazzzing. Sorry, I know I totally made that word up but it pretty much sums it up for me.

We have delicate areas that need special care. If a man isn't making it feel good, I say, take his hand and guide him into a stroke that does feel good plus, he may even get off in the double handed performance.
02/22/2015
symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
From a girl's perspective, I say the slower the better, at first. It's not a race to the finish. I like Mr. Mans to take his time and savor what he has. Soft caresses to begin with, then moving to more firm. I don't like it if he moves ...
Roughness seems to run in E. Tn. I would do what o.h. suggested...ask him to do oral instead.

Makes me wonder how they have the gall to say NO TEETH when we do oral on them, but if we feel pain, well...

I should ask them how it feels to have teeth scraping the penis, then tell him it feels like that here when you use sandpaper on me. I gotta protect the apparatus.
02/22/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
Roughness seems to run in E. Tn. I would do what o.h. suggested...ask him to do oral instead.

Makes me wonder how they have the gall to say NO TEETH when we do oral on them, but if we feel pain, well...

I should ask them how it feels ...
Then I would say, NO SAND PAPER Gorilla hands, or get out of my bed, and not have an ounce of problem saying it. Lol I don't handle people unwilling to understand the meaning of "ouch" well. Tends to fire me up a bit. You're right, if no teeth are part of the 'no play' rules then so should 'barbaric sandpaper hands'.

And you can always just have them stick to oral as well, if they are capable of being pleasing that way
02/22/2015
symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
Then I would say, NO SAND PAPER Gorilla hands, or get out of my bed, and not have an ounce of problem saying it. Lol I don't handle people unwilling to understand the meaning of "ouch" well. Tends to fire me up a bit. You're ...
At least I can hope that it does not hurt using oral....if I feel teeth....OUT!
02/22/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
At least I can hope that it does not hurt using oral....if I feel teeth....OUT!
LOL Just send them packing with a How To DVD. Or...send them here to the forum
02/22/2015
Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
At least I can hope that it does not hurt using oral....if I feel teeth....OUT!
Teeth, Really!? I don't even know how that is possible.
02/22/2015
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
Like, I am not a piece of wood to be sandpapered to death. And when some men try that, they wonder why you didn't cum. Guys. are you rough?
Sandpapered? Rough fingers? Sounds like you've been dating weight lifters or construction workers ?
02/23/2015
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Sandpapered? Rough fingers? Sounds like you've been dating weight lifters or construction workers ?
When I was a soldier rough fingers were always problematic.
02/23/2015
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
Like, I am not a piece of wood to be sandpapered to death. And when some men try that, they wonder why you didn't cum. Guys. are you rough?
In every relationship, including with my hubby of many years, I have always directed my lover on what does or does not feel good. Most will welcome the advice and it helps them make you feel better, and helps them become a better lover. It's a win/win. Don't hesitate to say "slow down", or "go a bit easier", or "what's the rush, let's take this a bit slower and make the fun last". Whatever..it's up to you to let your guy know how to please you. There are few real "directions" for this, as we are all so different.
02/23/2015
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 6