I am editing this and sending it directly to Unfullfilled. Please read her other posts, concerning her lack of orgasms and then look at her partner's comments concerning HIS pleasure, which seems to not include her pleasure at all.
Is your significant other ok with you reviewing sex toys
10/09/2011
no that haven´t happened to me everyone is different and have different views of things and i don´t have any issues with my partner and if that´s ok with you it´s your decision take care
10/09/2011
Actually, he introduced me to the whole idea! He knew I loved toys and sensual items, and he knew someone who used this site a loooong time ago, so he suggested I sign up!
So, no, he definitely doesn't mind
So, no, he definitely doesn't mind
10/09/2011
I'm really sorry about that, unfulfilled. I think P'Gell made some really good points. For me, I don't really have much advice, because my man supports my work here at EF 200%. He sees my toys as his allies, and he has said repeatedly that he gets excited when I get an order because he knows he's going to get some. Sometimes he'll even say - you don't want to try that by yourself first so you can figure out how it works? lol (I've told him about learning curves with different toys.) But I don't always want to, because I like learning about it with him, rather than just by myself. He's really proud of my reviews (in fact he helps me edit them) and loves the growing toy collection.
I'm really sorry you're going through this unfulfilled, and I hope you can find a way to work this out. Your orgasms do need to be a real priority for your husband (she said in another thread that she has never had an orgasm before), and I think it's so sad that they aren't. I hope with more communication you can help him see how important it is.
I'm really sorry you're going through this unfulfilled, and I hope you can find a way to work this out. Your orgasms do need to be a real priority for your husband (she said in another thread that she has never had an orgasm before), and I think it's so sad that they aren't. I hope with more communication you can help him see how important it is.
10/09/2011
Oh gosh, I've replied to your other post regarding orgasms before coming across this thread, didn't know your husband is against insertable toys.
I don't really know what to say about your situation. I don't know what kind of personality or temper your husband has, will you be in a bad situation if he discovers your toys? Like BBW suggested, enlisting the help of a professional might be the best solution to you and your husband's problems.
My husband felt a little awkward when I showed him my first toy, I had to prod him to use it on me. Nowadays, when he sees me play, he'll lend a hand without being asked. He does not have a problem with me reviewing toys, I even let him read my reviews.
I don't really know what to say about your situation. I don't know what kind of personality or temper your husband has, will you be in a bad situation if he discovers your toys? Like BBW suggested, enlisting the help of a professional might be the best solution to you and your husband's problems.
My husband felt a little awkward when I showed him my first toy, I had to prod him to use it on me. Nowadays, when he sees me play, he'll lend a hand without being asked. He does not have a problem with me reviewing toys, I even let him read my reviews.
10/09/2011
My boyfriend is still a bit insecure, but he knows that nothing will ever replace him! He doesn't really like them, but he playfully calls me a blogger and I feel like I really make a difference with my video reviews. He also enjoys using them on me!
10/09/2011
Quote:
"We use the toys, WHILE we make love and I now orgasm, mostly from HIS efforts, but with the toys as a supporting role.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
Does he not get it that he doesn't seem to be doing the things that you need to have an orgasm? Does he think more of the same, with NO changes will result in a different outcome?
My Man never thinks the toys "replace him." He ... more
My Man never thinks the toys "replace him." He ... more
Does he not get it that he doesn't seem to be doing the things that you need to have an orgasm? Does he think more of the same, with NO changes will result in a different outcome?
My Man never thinks the toys "replace him." He bought me my first toy, because after years of hair trigger orgasms, I was having difficulty time having them due to some hormonal issues. We use the toys, WHILE we make love and I now orgasm, mostly from HIS efforts, but with the toys as a supporting role.
He wants what gives me the most pleasure, and I want what gives him the most pleasure. That's our interpretation of love.
The idea that a person can do the same thing over and over and suddenly get a different response makes no sense. You were not having orgasms, you are being PROACTIVE in your own sexuality by using toys to get to a place you have never been.
My guess is this issue goes much deeper than just sex toys. You and he may need to really discuss it and if he refuses to open up about why he doesn't want you to have pleasure (since it's obvious he isn't able to help bring you to orgasm and he doesn't like if you try anything new to get there, either) and if the talking doesn't help, perhaps some counseling may.
Lovers want their lovers to feel happy. What was his solution and reaction to your pre-orgasmic state? Did he have any suggestions? Or did he think more of the same would some how work? You and he have work to do, and in the meantime, you owe it to yourself to learn your body well enough to be able to orgasm. By any means necessary. less
My Man never thinks the toys "replace him." He bought me my first toy, because after years of hair trigger orgasms, I was having difficulty time having them due to some hormonal issues. We use the toys, WHILE we make love and I now orgasm, mostly from HIS efforts, but with the toys as a supporting role.
He wants what gives me the most pleasure, and I want what gives him the most pleasure. That's our interpretation of love.
The idea that a person can do the same thing over and over and suddenly get a different response makes no sense. You were not having orgasms, you are being PROACTIVE in your own sexuality by using toys to get to a place you have never been.
My guess is this issue goes much deeper than just sex toys. You and he may need to really discuss it and if he refuses to open up about why he doesn't want you to have pleasure (since it's obvious he isn't able to help bring you to orgasm and he doesn't like if you try anything new to get there, either) and if the talking doesn't help, perhaps some counseling may.
Lovers want their lovers to feel happy. What was his solution and reaction to your pre-orgasmic state? Did he have any suggestions? Or did he think more of the same would some how work? You and he have work to do, and in the meantime, you owe it to yourself to learn your body well enough to be able to orgasm. By any means necessary. less
He wants what gives me the most pleasure, and I want what gives him the most pleasure. That's our interpretation of love."
This exactly.
P'Gell's response is exactly how we feel on the matter.
My husband is constantly amazed and turned on by the fact he can give me pleasure before and after intercourse takes place, and even when he is not in the mood. He is the one whom still delivers the pleasure, after all!
10/09/2011
I'm sorry he's jealous of your hobby. At least that is what I think of this whole thing for me. You know, I'm the opposite side. I used to be very jealous of previous GF's toys, and now with my fiancee I am growing into a new comfort level. I think one of the most important things is truly honest and open communication, and after that comes a renewed comfort. I would actually be floored now if my S/O was on EF as well, but alas, she is not. I think he needs him space to be jealous and then find out what the issue is for him. And then, I think you need to show him that things can be better for him. Frankly, the biggest thing that helped me get over my insecurities was going shopping online for stuff for us, not just myself. Once we started having those dialogs, things changed and I feel much better about everything. Just have to find that place within yourself and let him do the same and things should hopefully get better.
10/09/2011
You guys are a great community and I appreciate the responses. Rossie- he's not physically abusive by any means and he knows about the toys so there's nothing to worry about there.
10/10/2011
Quote:
Redbox, sweetie. Again, I think we were separated at birth.
Originally posted by
Redboxbaby
"We use the toys, WHILE we make love and I now orgasm, mostly from HIS efforts, but with the toys as a supporting role.
He wants what gives me the most pleasure, and I want what gives him the most pleasure. That's our interpretation ... more
He wants what gives me the most pleasure, and I want what gives him the most pleasure. That's our interpretation ... more
"We use the toys, WHILE we make love and I now orgasm, mostly from HIS efforts, but with the toys as a supporting role.
He wants what gives me the most pleasure, and I want what gives him the most pleasure. That's our interpretation of love."
This exactly.
P'Gell's response is exactly how we feel on the matter.
My husband is constantly amazed and turned on by the fact he can give me pleasure before and after intercourse takes place, and even when he is not in the mood. He is the one whom still delivers the pleasure, after all! less
He wants what gives me the most pleasure, and I want what gives him the most pleasure. That's our interpretation of love."
This exactly.
P'Gell's response is exactly how we feel on the matter.
My husband is constantly amazed and turned on by the fact he can give me pleasure before and after intercourse takes place, and even when he is not in the mood. He is the one whom still delivers the pleasure, after all! less
10/10/2011
Quote:
I'm glad you are safe and at least comfortable.
Originally posted by
unfulfilled
You guys are a great community and I appreciate the responses. Rossie- he's not physically abusive by any means and he knows about the toys so there's nothing to worry about there.
I hope he will grow along with you in your new learning about your sexual self.
(Wow, I use that "huges" simile a lot. I MEAN it. I love to hug people. Y'all would be in trouble if you were around me, you'd all smell like my perfume.)
10/10/2011
Quote:
That's good. Hope he'll come around and understand your needs soon!
Originally posted by
unfulfilled
You guys are a great community and I appreciate the responses. Rossie- he's not physically abusive by any means and he knows about the toys so there's nothing to worry about there.
10/10/2011
yes, she does not care. Because some of the toys are fun. Some are cheap crap. Most of my reviews are toys we purchased for play, and they have worked out well. She has helped with those reviews. I dont think she likes trying out the cheap toys that eden sends sometimes. But shes a trooper. Things you do for science.
10/12/2011
Mine encouraged me to get more toys...and that's how I found this site. He's quite excited about the idea of me trying out a ton of different vibrators.
If he wasn't okay with it, I would probably still do it and just keep it private since it's my body and my private time. My ex actually wasn't okay with vibrators and tried to throw one away. I told him that the vibrator outdated him, so it was here to stay. But then, I needed vibrators more with my ex.
If he wasn't okay with it, I would probably still do it and just keep it private since it's my body and my private time. My ex actually wasn't okay with vibrators and tried to throw one away. I told him that the vibrator outdated him, so it was here to stay. But then, I needed vibrators more with my ex.
11/17/2011
Quote:
mine puts in some dvds i have reviewed in the past few months to get each other in the mood occassionally and he knows i review, but i dont think he cares. he makes fun of me for it lol. if he did not want me to, i would respect that and stop but he gets I make commission if i review on my blog or give my code out. but i told him i wouldn't review any dvds again.
Originally posted by
unfulfilled
Ok, so my husband lives in the stone age, and doesn't really like the idea of me doing reviews or using toys for that matter. Am I alone here or do others have issues with their significant other too. He's told me not to get insertible toys
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more
Ok, so my husband lives in the stone age, and doesn't really like the idea of me doing reviews or using toys for that matter. Am I alone here or do others have issues with their significant other too. He's told me not to get insertible toys b/c that's his spot, and he doesn't even like the idea I have insertible kegel exerciser's. CRAZY! I've decided I'm going to do things for me, but I was curious if others had this issue as well, and how they handle it.
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11/19/2011
My boyfriend doesn't mind it at all. He thinks it's pretty cool. And he loves when I get something we can both use.
I wouldn't go behind his back if he didn't want me to do it though. That's not right.
I wouldn't go behind his back if he didn't want me to do it though. That's not right.
11/19/2011
She is fine with it.
11/20/2011
My partner was very closed minded at first and now is totally okay with it.
11/20/2011
I haven't had this problem, my partner loves it and he does his own reviews as well. I'm sorry to hear that you have this issue.. I'd love to be able to give you some advice, but I'm not sure If I'd really be any help <- that's me pouring you a glass of wine
11/20/2011
Total posts: 49
Unique posters: 30
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