Fortune cookies - gags discontinued by Pipedream - review by Mari

These are simple fortune cookies. They just come in a funny box and have amusing little fortunes inside. I was actually extremely amused by the box itself. The two sides of the box not included in the previews are the sides with the nutrition facts and the company.

The box was actually my favorite part. The "menu" was especially hilarious. I'm not even sure why, but it is. For those who are bad at those kinds of word games, I've "translated" the menu for you at the end of the review.

The box is laminated paperboard-- the same as a normal take-out box, except the outside is shiny instead of matte. The shape is identical to a take-out box, as is the top and closure of the lid. It doesn't have one of those little wire handles that some boxes have, though.

Admittedly I waited until the cookies were kind of stale before I ate them, but they were good enough anyway. They were a little more flavorful and sweet than regular fortune cookies, but that's kind of like saying charcoal is more black-colored than dark grey. The difference is there, but it really isn't a very significant difference.

My fortunes I got were:
"I can read your mind and you should be ashamed of yourself." ((I chuckled at this one))
"If you got laid last night - Smile!" ((Understandable))
"If you're a virgin - Smile!" ((If used in relation to the previous fortune, this doesn't make much sense))
"Confucius say: Man who lay woman on ground have piece of earth." ((I don't really get this one))

I saved the last 2 until I got my camera charged. I contemplated saving them until I go out to visit my boyfriend in a few days, but got impatient and decided to be selfish-- I wanna see those fortunes NOW, dammit! So here they are:
"You are going to get lucky tonight." ((Made me wish I'd saved these to share with my S.O.))
"Tight butts drive me nuts." ((I, personally, don't like anal while my S.O. does; made me relieved that I DIDN'T save these to share, lest he get the wrong idea))


For those who aren't very good at these word games, I've translated the "menu" for you.
SUM DUM FUK (some dumb fuck)
--Not for college graduates
WON HUNG LOW [one hung low]
--Available in large size only
CREAM OF SUM YONG GUY [cream of some young guy]
--Thick and chunky - Traditional style ((*gag, retch*))
CUM TU SOON [come/cum too soon]
--Order early... these go fast
WAI TU YUNG [way too young]
--Not available on school nights ((This one is so damn funny to me...))
PRICKEN CHOW MEIN
--A lip smacking oriental delicacy
CHO KON IT [choke on it]
--When you want the big one
TOUNG SUM CHICK [tongue some chick]
--A taste bud tingler

Well, I got these from a chain adult store, remembering that I'd seen them on Eden and I wanted to review them. I put them in my room and promptly forgot about them. For several months. Oops. The fortunes are still amusing (ish), the box is still an absolute hoot, but the cookies got stale. I ate one cookie before getting impatient and opening the rest so I could see the fortunes.

As I mentioned before, the cookies weren't all that great, nor were the fortunes in said cookies. But I've kept the box because I still get a good giggle from it.