Put on your scuba gear, ladies and gents! We're taking a trip to the deep blue sea! While the Pulse probe is a toy designed with an alien theme, I am going to take an "Under the Sea" approach! So I hope you brought your wet suits, because we're going on an exploration, folks!

Why? Because this toy looks like the antennae of an angler fish! The Pulse probe is a G-spot vibrator. What makes it unique, if a little odd, is the bulbous, squishy end that seems to bubble up from its top. I was a poor fish trapped by its bait (great sale), and like those poor fishes, I was left in a sea of confusion.

Being made of silicone, you can tease any part of the body, including the entrance to the anal cavity. If you want, you can use this toy anally. However, there are a few cautions. The Pulse probe lacks a flared base, so you can lose this toy inside. While silicone, it has a wrinkled/crimped texture, which will make cleaning difficult. If you must use this toy anally, use a condom for hygiene, use the toy shallowly and be careful. The Pulse probe is intended for G-spot stimulation, but it is not very firm. It can be used as a teaser toy, because the vibrations are probably not enough to get most women off externally.

This toy is more suited to beginners and those into odder shaped toys. The vibrations and shape just aren't there for more experienced players. It can also be a candidate for a poor college student who only gets privacy in the shower (or those who have less privacy then they like) since the Pulse probe is waterproof.

As we approach the drunken angler fish, we can see his antennae is made of silicone. This is ironic almost because of the texture. Perhaps it is made for more stimulation, but I feel the wrinkly, dimpled appearance makes the toy harder to clean (which I will discuss more in the cleaning section). Here's a picture of the texture of the Pulse probe.



I feel that this texture does little to nothing for providing stimulation. On the other hand, for those looking into to seeing what a little texture feels like, this may be a good buy. The texture also increases the drag of the toy. Applying some water based lube will let it glide more smoothly. Those who love texture will be unimpressed with the Pulse probe. The controls at the base of the toy is made of plastic.

The bulb at the top of the toy is extremely malleable. If you were to cut it off, it would make a pleasing stress ball (I wonder if it would bounce well..) It is very flexible, so it won't work for ladies who like firm G-spot stimulation. The shaft of the toy is a little squishy from the silicone, but it is solid and wont bend because of the plastic core.

There is a very slight odor to the Pulse probe, but you have to put it up to your nose to smell it.

This drunken angler fish is sad. His antennae is awkward in many ways. The bulb is cute but a failure for G-spot stimulation. It is pleasing to tease the entrance of the vagina with the bulb, but the vibrations are weak at the head. The shape of the Pulse probe is a standard phallic shape other than the probe head. It has a total length of 7.5 inches, with an insertable length of 6 inches. The length will please those who like deeper penetration and thrusting. Since the bulb is so squishy, the tip shouldn't bother women during thrusting. The overall size lets the toy fit in your hand with a decent weight. The Pulse probe has a circumference of 4.5 inches around its widest point, which may be girthy for some.



The overall size and appearance of the Pulse probe might be a little much for those who are looking for a first toy. However, beginners can control the depth of penetration and use the excess length as a handle. Those other than beginners will find the Pulse probe immensely boring.

Compared to other toys, the Pulse probe is not that discreet. It is obvious that it's a vibe. For those who value discretion, there are an array of other (better) toys to choose from. In terms of noise, the Pulse probe is discreet, with a max Bee of about 2. You won't be heard from beyond a door. Being waterproof, it can also be used in the shower.

The controls on the Pulse probe are pretty simple. At the base is a turn dial to turn the vibe on and adjust the intensity of the vibrations. Just turning on the toy will give you a vibration at 1 Vroom. When turned all the way up, the toy gets a max vibration of about 3 Vrooms. I say 3 Vrooms for this reason: the vibrations do not travel well through the toy. This is disappointing. The head of the Pulse probe could have been used for clitoral stimulation, but the vibrations are so deadened at the bulb. I'm assuming the motor is located at the middle of the shaft. The potential of it is heart breaking (and makes me want to make a stress ball from the top).

The Pulse probe is easy to use in and out the shower. It is advertised as waterproof and it does have the little plastic/rubber ring at the battery cage to keep water out. If you close your Pulse probe tightly, it should not have any water go through. I have used the Pulse probe successfully in the shower, but I have no submerged it in a tub.

This vibe takes 2 AAA batteries. It will easily last through multiple uses.

Perhaps I have OCD, but I find this toy annoying to clean. I think it's due to the texture. Being silicone, this toy naturally collects lint. It collects about an average amount, but with all the dimples and wrinkles, residue from play gets stuck on this toy. I find the best way to clean it is to remove the batteries and clean it with warm water and soap in the sink. Even then, after its dry, I can still see residues and gunk in the wrinkles. At this point I use my nail and try and clean the wrinkles out. I also stress the material to makes the wrinkles wider as I clean it. It is annoying.

After a couple of thorough cleanings, I decided to use a condom when using the Pulse probe. It fits oddly due to its shape and feels a bit like a garbage bag going in because latex under the probe is easy to feel. It's a pick your poison, really.

Once you have it clean enough, you should store this toy in a pouch if you have one to keep it away from lint. If not, it can be put it in any box or general storage. Being silicone, only water based lubricant should be used with the Pulse probe.

Here's a picture of the packaging for the Pulse probe.



It's a basic snap-shell packaging. It is not discreet or designed for long term storage. The back of the package ocntains instructions for proper use and care of the toy.

Did I say that I kind of want to cut off the bulb of the Pulse probe and make a stress ball or bouncy ball? Yeah. That's the only thing I think of that gives me any kind of excitement with this toy. It's not horrible, per say, but has nothing for me. If the motor was placed better of if the bulb received better vibrations I'd love it for clitoral stimulation. but as it stands, this toy is a flop for me. Top that with the cleaning and I am one sad panda. Damn you, drunken angler fish!

I will let you know if I cut off the top of this toy.