L'Amour premium silicone beaded probe - probe discontinued by Cal Exotics - review by Pixel

L’Amour Silicone Anal Probe a series of five beads, held together by a semi flexible band, and ending in a curled ‘tail'. The smallest bead is about 5/8th of an inch wide, which is about the size of a finger, and the largest is 1 1/4 inch. It's 6 3/4 inches from tip to tail, with 5 inches of that being insertable. The packaging says it's made of 100% silicone, although I did notice it had a faint chemical/offgassing smell coming out of the package. The smell did go away slightly after I washed it with soap and set it out to air for 48 hours, though. I also didn't notice any taste to the toy after it had been clean and aired out. Yes, I licked it. Yes, I'm odd.

The silicone is a matte finish and does have some drag to it, so lots of water based lube is definitely a good idea. It's a fairly firm silicone, but still does have some squish to it. There is a seam running down the middle of the toy, that is fairly noticeable to the touch. After some DIY toy surgery that involved the use of an Xacto knife, it was less irritating, but still there.

Because this toy is made of silicone, you’re going to want to only use a water based lube with it, as the silicone can react negatively with your toy. For cleaning, it’s the usual options. You can wash it with antibacterial soap and water, wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, boil it, or put it through the dishwasher to sterilize it after use or between partners.

The beads were really easy to insert. The neck between the beads gave them some bend, but not so much that they were flopping all over the place and slipping out. I didn't find that they needed a whole lot of stretching beforehand, because the beads increase in size at a reasonable rate, and the spaces between them made excellent resting points. The last bead was a bit of a stretch for me, though.

Now, the end of the toy is where my biggest issue comes into play. It is a curved 'tail', and while it seems like the shape would do well to help keep the toy inside you, I had issues with it staying in. For some reason, the curve encouraged the beads to slip out repeatedly when I wasn't actively concentrating on clenching around the toy. (Think: getting close to orgasm.) It is frustrating, at best, and completely wrecks the orgasm at worst. For me, the sensation of the toy slipping out is followed by immediate thoughts of 'Oh gods, the toy is sliding out of my ass, and now there's going to be lube all over the bed, and I don't want to have to wash the sheets again this week, and why is this stupid tail not staying where it's supposed to (yes, my internal monologue is annoyingly verbose) and ow ow stupid seam!' which is a total mood killer.

I think that this toy would be an excellent warm up for anal sex with a partner. Having my partner hold the probe by the tail and thrusting it gently was a fun sensation. The 'pop' of the balls moving in and out was delicious. I also really enjoyed using a toy vaginally with this. I did find myself grabbing a more slender dildo than one I normally use, and even with that switch, it was really tight. My orgasms were more intense than normal, and the feeling of fullness left me purring. I'm really wanting to try having this in me during vaginal sex with a partner. The tail on the toy didn't get in the way during play, I just kept it turned so it curved up towards my back. It would also stay in without slippage if I only inserted it to the second to last ball.

While this isn't a great toy, it's an ok place to start while you decide if you like anal beads/chains, and the price is not going to break the bank if you hate it. I would suggest trying Fun Factory's Bendybeads if you like this shape but want more width and girth, or just prefer a better quality silicone/toy. (Plus, Fun Factory has cool colour options.)

I just don't enjoy this toy, and after hearing me complain about it, my boyfriend has no interest in trying it out. To the garbage it goes!