Oversize chess piece loses the match

This product probably would feel great if you can fit it inside you, but that's the problem. It's shimmery and beautiful but it's also just too large and too hard.
silicone lube compatible, non-toxic exterior, beautiful.
it's too big!
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
My first impression of this was that it's beautiful but larger than it looks in the photo. Even viewing it in actual size didn't prepare me for its true size. It has a very slight smell which I found to be pleasant.

I had high hopes for this dildo. I like the ridges on Mr Softee and Raging Hard-on. I thought the ridges on Moulin Rouge would feel great too. The problem is that the TPR exterior of this product is quite stiff. The packaging states that it's "a firm TPR toy." They are not kidding. If you squeeze it, it only compresses just a little bit. The interior is sil-a-gel, but the stiff coating of TPR is a problem.

I'm a big fan of the generously endowed gentleman, but this product was just too enormous for me. I warmed it, applied a good amount of lube, then tried to ease it in. It took a bit of effort just to get the first ring in. I can't say it felt pleasant. I continued experimenting, trying to insert it further. When I finally managed to get the second ring in I felt instant intense pain. I removed it immediately. It left me with bruises! This really surprises me. I've given birth without tearing yet this just won't fit inside me.

Normally I try a toy multiple times before writing a review, but I can't bring myself to give this one a second chance. Can you blame me? Inexplicably, I still like having it. It's beautiful and I have hopes that someday I'll be successful with it. I expect that if it ever does fit inside me it will feel fantastic.

On the plus side, the package does state that the exterior is non-toxic TPR, contains no cadmium or latex, is anti-bacterial and is silicone lube compatible.

According to the packaging, the product is actually called Vinyl Vengeance and comes in two colors - midnight blue (sold here as Vinyl Vengeance) and Moulin Rouge. So be careful if you're considering Vinyl Vengeance also.

I really wanted to love this product. If you are certain that you're roomy or stretchy enough inside for it and want a huge, very firm dildo this might be an excellent toy for you. If you're considering buying this product, I suggest first trying something firm with the same circumference - a cucumber maybe - to be sure it will fit.

Too massive for me.
Maybe for Elastagirl.
Caution is advised.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Elastagirl lol. you should include more of the cons in your review in the top cons.
  • Contributor: Oggins
    At 2 1/4" diameter, I agree, this thing is huge! I would probably have the same results that you did. Thanks for sharing your experience and I'll think twice if I decide to get this one! Smile
  • Contributor: Tuesday
    Yes. And the large size might be ok if it just weren't so hard.
  • Contributor: TexasFire
    Thanks for the size alert. My partner is a litte tight, so we'll skip this one in favor of smaller ones...and as you mentioned, it didn't make it seem that big in the "actual size".
  • Contributor: Minxy
    What a great title!
  • Contributor: Miss Cinnamon
    Sorry to hear that the chess piece totem pole failed epically. I, too, am not a big fan of huge toys. I am loving these haikus!
  • Contributor: Tuesday
    Thank you!
  • Contributor: Eva Schwaltz
    Great review.
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