"Super" is Not an Exaggeration. Really.

For the less grown-up humor in all of us, this toy is absolutely hilarious to play with outside of its intended purpose. You can wave it around, pelvic thrust it, shove it down your jeans and make the penis come out the zipper or, like me, put it on a shelf and wonder who will notice.

At a circumference of 5 1/2" and an insertable length of 7", Softee is a BIG BOY. If you're a small girl, ladies, take your wrist. Look at it. Now imagine it was perfectly round, and you've pretty much hit the Softee on the head (ha! More juvenile humor). Needless to say, this toy is NOT FOR BEGINNERS.

Let me repeat that. This toy is NOT FOR BEGINNERS! I'm a fairly small girl, and it took half an hour of fingering, vigorous sex, and a lot of lube to even BEGIN to get the head of this toy inside of me, and I promptly made a pitiful squeaking noise, as reported by my boyfriend, so that he would get it out. Softee has a huge head, and popping it past the vaginal ring is quite a shocker.

I can't imagine using this toy anally, but if you enjoy some girth, this toy is definitely, absolutely for you.

This toy is not a particularly firm dildo; when you hold it by the base, the penis does fall a bit to one side. When I received it and opened the package, I felt a strange desire take hold of me. All I wanted to do was stroke the Softee! The texture is very smooth and silky with veined details to make your mind wander and your mouth water. It's such a FUN toy to look at and touch. I highly doubt that most of us have seen the real thing at this size, so it's kind of neat to imagine that you're actually manipulating and fondling a penis, despite the fact that it's bright pink.

It's not the most realistic toy I've ever felt (after all, penises are a bit warmer than Sil-a-Gel!), but it does a fairly good job at making you forget that there isn't a man (or a woman with a harness!) attached. I very much enjoyed just rubbing the Softee between my lower lips. It's a GREAT toy for rocking against.

When I opened the box, after accepting this assignment, I felt like Inspector Gadget: This assignment will self-destruct in 3... 2... Holy cow, super is not the word I would use. The Softee is as thick as my wrist! I stared at it for quite some time, trying to imagine the logistics and the amount of lube it would take to get that thing inside of me. Aside from being huge, it's very realistically shaped. There's a very nice sloped head that can do some very fun rubbing if you aren't equipped to take the Softee where it wants to go. This is definitely not a toy for the average user, and it is NOT discreet in the slightest. It's a huge pink dildo. Short of putting some tinsel on it and pretending it's a Christmas tree, you really can't hide it!

I very much enjoyed the realistic feel of the Softee. My partner is male and we don't use harnesses, so I didn't get a chance to check its performance there, but I could definitely see some thrusting possibilities with it in a harness. I'd caution anyone that doesn't have a fairly deep vagina however. It bottoms out at around 7", and if you can't take that much, it might bruise your cervix, regardless of how soft it is.

My favorite use was rocking on it and rubbing it against my skin; the texture was smooth and velvety, and with a bit of lube, it really got me going! The size was very intimidating however, and definitely not for me.

This toy is fairly easy to take care of; it doesn't have any compartments, batteries or other electronic issues to deal with, so you can give Softee a nice bath (and you can join him, if you'd like!). It is super easy to store, but only if you've got the room. You'll need a toy box that can fit an 8" toy and the width to support his balls. Lube wasn't an issue, but you'll need a LOT of it to get this baby inside you! Use a condom if sharing or going between anal and vaginal play.