Great Dildo, Bad Vibrator

The Lia Teaser 1 is a G Spot vibrator by Cal Exotics. It is curved at the head for G spot stimulation and is best used for internal vaginal use. It can be used externally as well, but should not be used anally due to the lack of flared base.

Lia is made of silicone and has very light texture. It is average in size and will be good for beginners or advanced users that prefer smaller size and little to no texture. The vibrations are mild so those who seek power should look elsewhere.

It is a waterproof toy and can go from bedroom to bathroom. It can be used for solo or partner play. It is not harness compatible. It could be used for external stimulation during sex, but the length does not make it ideal for this over something small (such as a bullet).

Lia is made of silicone and plastic. The body of the vibrator is silicone and the handle is plastic. The plastic is done with a glossy finish. The silicone is soft, but does have a good amount of drag to it. You will likely want to use lube when inserting this toy. Once lubed up, it doesn't seem to absorb the lube where you have to constantly reapply. The silicone is not squishy, but is rather a layer of silicone wrapped around a firm core. The inch and a half or so is somewhat flexible while the remainder of the body is completely firm. This means that those who require a totally rigid toy to get pressure on their G spot may not be able to use this toy. More on that in the Design section.

There is a seam that runs down the body of the vibrator. I could not feel it during use, but those that are seam sensitive may be bothered by this. The head of the toy is bulbed from the body which creates an addition sensation when used. There are also three ridges along the top of the shaft for texture.



While these ridges looked somewhat intimidating to me as a texture sensitive person, I could honestly not feel them at all. They are made totally of silicone and are easily pushed down with my finger. They have the most give out of all of the material. While I cannot squish the head of the toy, and can push these ridges down flat. For that reason, this toy will not be good for those who are looking for texture. It will work for beginners or texture sensitive. Extremely texture sensitive individuals may be able to feel these, however.

There is a silicone odor to the toy, but it is only noticeable if you hold the toy to your nose. There is no immediate taste, but it does leave a slight silicone aftertaste.

Lia is what I could consider an average sized toy, but of course that's all relative. The product page lists the total length at 8.75" while I got 8.5". It lists the insertable length at 6 1/4" and I got 6". It lists the diameter as 1.5", which we agree on. This is the diameter at the bulb of the head and the widest part of the shaft. Where the shaft is thinner, the diameter is 1".



Here you can see Lia in my hand for size reference:



I like my toys on the smaller side and 1.5" is generally the max for me in terms of diameter. Lia worked really well for me size-wise. It was neither too big nor too small and had the right sizes in the right places.

The size will work well for beginners or advanced users that prefer a smaller sized toy. Those that like a lot of length or girth will likely not be satisfied with Lia. The length is enough that it should work for those with G spots that are shallow or deep.

Lia is not discreet, as it looks pretty phallic and if not completely realistic than at least very much like a traditional G spot vibrator. I would not leave this out if you don't want people knowing you own a sex toy. It is fairly easy to thrown in a bag and travel with as it's not terribly large or easy to store in a dresser drawer.

Lia curves upward at the head to allow for G spot stimulation. As mentioned there is some flexibility at the top 1.5" or so of the toy. It's not really very flexible, but it's not completely rigid. If you need a firm toy, this may still work for you. If you need something that is 100% rigid, it may not.



I was able to get a lot of pressure on my G spot with Lia. Unfortunately (for me, I suppose), Lia lacks the extreme curve that I need to reach an actual G spot orgasm. I will say that this is one of the better feeling curved vibrators I have tried. The shape of this is really great and I would imagine that this curve will work for most people, just not those who have really hard to please G spots (like me). While I cannot have a genuine G spot orgasm with Lia, I can have a pretty intense vaginal orgasm from it. So I'm still calling the design an overall win.

Lia has two buttons on the base of the controller. There is one on each side (front and back). The front button is the on/off button and the back button cycles through the functions. The fact that they are not placed together throws me off a little when I use this, but once I remember that they aren't next to each other, I have no problems using the controls when the toy is in use. The buttons are easy to hit, but not so much so that you will accidentally hit them.



To turn on, press the on button located in the front. To cycle through the speeds and patterns, press the cycle button on the back. To turn off, press the power button on the front. There is no way to go back, so you would have to either cycle all the way through or turn it off and start over if you pass up something you like.

There are 10 functions available, which include constant vibration modes and patterns.

The first three functions are the constant vibrations. The lowest of these is one vroom. The next is a low two. The next is a high two. This just...doesn't go, if you know what I mean. The box says "extremely powerful motor" and yet at the highest setting you can barely feel it. I don't know what else to say other than that. If you need power, this won't work for you.

As best I can tell (which is hard to do with a weak motor), the vibrations are pretty buzzy. The sound like they are pretty high pitched. They certainly don't penetrate the skin, but that could also be due to the lack of power. If you hate buzzy vibrations, you may be able to use this since the power is so low that the vibrations aren't that noticeable anyhow.

The vibrations are located in the bulbed head of the vibrator and do not travel past that area. This is great for pinpointing the G spot, but not good if you like vibrations down the shaft. Again, the motor just isn't powerful enough to get them there.

Personally, I found the vibrations on this to be downright laughable. They are completely useless to me. In fact, they are so weak as to be more of an annoyance than a pleasure. I ended up using this as a dildo more times than not.

The first pattern is a quick pulse. The next is a 1-2-1-2 beat. The next is 1-2-3-1-2-3. The next goes from low to high speed with a pause in between each speed. The next slowly rises from the low to high speed and then ends with two pulses. The next does the same and then winds back down to the slow speed. The next goes 1-2-3 and then does the escalation from low to high.

At the high power setting, this can be heard slightly through covers but not through a closed door. It is a little more quiet than a cell phone on vibrate.

Lia is waterproof. It does not have an O ring, but rather some really confusing puzzle looking thing going on where you screw in the battery compartment (I guess that's the waterproofing). I have submerged it and washed it with no problems, but have been extra careful since testing just in case.

This takes one AA battery which is not included. The batter compartment is at the base of the toy. I had a bit of trouble screwing the handle back on because you have to line everything up just so.

Since Lia is waterproof, you can just wash off with soap and water or toy cleaner. You do want to take care around the ridges to make sure that no fluids build up in them. They don't pose any difficulty in cleaning the toy, but just make sure to clean really well in that area.

Only water based lubes should be used with this toy. Silicone lubes can degrade silicone toys.

You can store Lia in the original packaging if you have the space or get a small pouch. Be sure to store it away from other silicone toys as this could also destroy the material.

Lia comes in a see through box that has lots of words and images all over it. It's very busy and ADD-looking packaging. It kept my ADD brain busy for a good three minutes, so that's an accomplishment. The front has "Lia Teaser 1" on it with the deceiving "extremely powerful motor" caption as well as "10 intense functions" and "pure silicone." It has bubbles and butterflies and flowers and other girly images all over it. Lia can be seen through the see through box. The back has a picture of Lia with "Lia Teaser 1" written on it and then all the features written all over the box in multiple fonts with little images to make sure you understand what the function does. The side has bubbles, flowers, and butterflies.





This is some of the most overwhelming packaging ever! It kinda gives me a headache just looking at it.

The packaging is not discreet, but it doesn't have a naked girl on it or anything either. I use it for storage, but it's not ideal because the plastic can easily rip. I just keep things in original packaging so I know what's what.

If you don't care at all about vibrations and just want something that's shaped nicely, Lia is actually a really good pick. If that's the case, odds are you won't stumble across this because you'll be in the dildo department instead. Lia will offer G spot stimulation that I'm guessing will work for most people. It gives a lot of pressure and the curve is pretty decent. The material isn't luxury quality, but it isn't bad either. I actually really wish this would have been a dildo so I could give it a higher rating because the shape of this toy really is pretty awesome.

If it's vibrations you seek, Lia just doesn't come through. So say they are "mild" is, well, putting it mildly. (Ha.) They aren't even strong enough to go past the head of the toy. That's kinda sad, guys. Add the buzzy quality to it and the vibrations on this are and utter fail.

As it stands, I've come to the conclusion that I'm giving this a 3. I figure the vibrations probably deserve 1 star (maybe 2 - it's not like they didn't come on at all), but the shape deserves a 4 or maybe even 4.5. So I'm going to take an average between the two.

What drew me to Lia was the shape, and I was not disappointed by that aspect of the toy. I never get G spot toys expecting them to hit my G spot or give me G spot orgasms. I just happen to like them anyhow. Lia actually did manage to get pressure to the area, which is more than many G spot toys manage to do. I tried my best to get it to push me over the edge, but the curve just wasn't enough for that. For reference, there's only four toys that manage to do this, so it's not really a failing of Lia as much it is my anatomy giving me grief.

I'm sure by now you've gotten the impression that I was less than impressed with the vibrations. While I used them because I needed to test them for the review, rest assured that any use Lia gets from now on will be as a dildo (vibrations off!). They are so low that they irritate me and the fact that they can't even get past the maybe 1" long head is really a joke. Such a shame. If this could have even gotten to a high three vrooms, it could have easily been a four star toy.

I still really like Lia. I can see myself using it because of the pressure on my G spot. I just can't give it above a three because it's a vibrator and not a dildo. I think it will make a nice addition to my dildo collection and the batteries can go to a loving home in something that might actually, you know, vibrate.