Metallic massager - traditional vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by systematicweasel

The Metallic Lawnmower

This is a powerful vibrator, but the negatives are so annoying that they overpower the single positive of the Cal Exotics Metallic Massager.
powerful vibrations, looks nice
Loud, batteries constantly rattle, no difference in settings, base is hard to handle
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
The Metallic Massager made by Cal Exotics is probably one of the most appealing vibrators to look at. Its design is simple, the colors shine off on the screen. And the price is very affordable, even more so since it was recently on sale. I purchased this vibe to replace another that my partner had lost on our last vacation. And I must say vibration wise, this vibe is pretty powerful. I must say though, I don’t particularly like this vibrator too much. I’ve used it multiple times and though it is able to perform well, there are other issues that I have that may affect the performance of this product later on.

This Cal Exotics product takes C batteries, making the vibrator pretty wide in circumference, which is something our lost vibe had lacked. However, the C batteries are a bit of a problem. They are not so secure inside the vibrator and they rattle harshly. This rattling is so loud that it nears the volume of a riding lawn mower. The constant shaking of these batteries is just annoying. It fills the room, and if I am watching something or listening to music, it drowns out the background noise which I love so much. To have a lawnmower inside me is not my idea of a good time, no matter how powerful this toy may be.

The base is rather flimsy. If you tighten it too much the vibrator will not start. If you tighten it too lose, same thing. You have to find the perfect twist for this vibe to work and rattle. I have loosened and tightened the base so many times my hands could be exhibitionists at a muscle show. And since there is no instructions on which way the batteries go in, (at least I did not receive a little slip of paper or the packaging did not say anything and this could be different for other buyers), you spend a good majority of the time figuring out combination's. I felt like I was James Bond decoding national secrets at one point. To say it simply: it is a hassle.

When the advertisement said “Multi-speed” I was imagining that maybe it had more than two settings. But in reality the Metallic Massager only has Low and High, if there was something in between I did not feel it. As I’ve said before, this vibe is powerful. It was so powerful that the difference between the two settings was not there. It carried the same intensity over from low to high. This Brawny Man contraption stayed in one continuous vibration setting even though I had switched the settings in between. My only conclusion was that the C batteries were rattling too much for there to be any change whatsoever.

I do not know if this vibe is really waterproof, as I am afraid to try it with the security of this base. It still leaves a small crack in between the vibrator and the base so the vibes can function properly. I am afraid water would seep in and it would not work afterwords. For cleaning, I used a damp washcloth and some soap, but I did not suppress it in water or run it underneath the faucet. It is easy to clean, aside from my water damage fear. The vibe is made of plastic and carried no smell when I took it out of the packaging. Most, from the reviews that I have read, just buy an antibacterial cleaner to clean the toy, which is just as good.

I’ve read that this vibe works well with most lubes and I know for sure that it works perfectly fine with water-based lube. However the plastic is not smooth. There is a pattern design on the vibrator, which is not necessarily noticeable in the pictures on the website. The design looks nice, but does not make the vibe feel any better. I found it to be a little uncomfortable at first but got used to it after a couple more times. I don’t feel the pattern is necessary as it does not offer any stimulation at all, it just looks pretty; looking pretty as all good, but if it’s not doing anything for me than there is absolutely no point.

I do not recommend this toy for beginners. Especially if they are looking for privacy, which this vibe gives none! It may be affordable and it may be shiny and appealing but there are so many other toys to choose from. And yes they may cost a little more, you will definitely be happier with going somewhere else.
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My Metallic massager tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Couples
    • Masturbation
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom / on a bed
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Easy to store
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Anal
    • Thighs
  • General
    [ ? ]
    Other tags that are useful and descriptive for this product.
    • Loud
    • Powerful
This review was edited by
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  • Mihoshi4301
    Thanks for the review.
  • Apirka
    Nice review, thanks for sharing
  • lilys
    thank you
  • lzee
    Appreciate great review!
  • lovidem
    See, I was wondering what the pattern was for... apparently nothing by the sounds of it. Thank you so much for the review
  • LoveBug721
    nice review
  • Jenny Smith
    thanks for sharing
  • Bignuf
    Thanks for a good, helpful review.
  • Dawnwill
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