The Mistress Manual - book discontinued by Greenery Press - review by Kayla

The Mistress Manual is a book about being a female Dominant. It's published by Greenery Press (who publish a lot of other BDSM books) and written by Mistress Lorelei. It includes 170 pages and was published back in the year 2000. While most of the advice hasn't changed since then, a little bit of the stuff talking about the internet could use a serious overhaul. The book is nine inches tall and six inches wide. The text is a little bit smaller than I'm used to in most books, so while it seems like it'd be a short read, I'd say that it took me three or four hours to make it through this one. The front of the book obviously says "Mistress" and the back says "The Sensual Art of Man Handling Made Easy", so probably not the most mother-friendly book possible. Plus, someone might think you are trying to learn how to take men away from their wives. Or it could be a good conversation starter. Either way, I wouldn't recommend taking it in public.

Mistress Lorelei, while in her writing it's obvious she's a pretty strong feminist, still writes in a clear, understanding manner that is completely beginner friendly but also experienced-friendly too. If you're a beginner, you find yourself observing it, but as an experienced female Dominant, I found myself just nodding and smiling at the good information. At times when I found myself going "Oh, she better not forget such-and-such"...she didn't. Aside from the bit about the internet, (she recommends some of the original IRC chats instead of Fetlife or something modern) there isn't much that I can honestly say that I'd have improved on.

Something I did feel was that some of the sections felt very brief and just touched on instead of in-depth. That's completely understandable considering she aimed to take the average woman and turn her into a relatively proficient female Dominant, but at times, I wished it would have included more information. I suppose though, if something sounded interesting, I should go seek out a dedicated book on the subject, so this works great as a springboard for information.

I would say that, even as an experienced Dominant, this brought some neat ideas to me. For example, Mistress Lorelei believes that there are five different types of Mistresses: Nursemaid, Governess, Queen, Amazon, and Goddess. For each type, she talks about what the submissive wants from that Dominant, what things should be done in that scene that should please both parties, and she actually gives a neat little "In the beginning of the scene, you should...", "In the Middle....", "To end it.....". She prepackages a scene into something that is amazingly easy for a newbie to digest and something that makes me want to try out some new scenes on the boyfriend. (Of course, as soon as I read this, he's away for a couple days. Grumble.)

Something to note is that this book focuses on scenes - this book is for those couples who want to keep this type of thing in their bedroom. This is not a book about the leather community or for those who are looking to accompany FemDom into their day-to-day relationship. She purely provides information about what to do during a scene and how to end that scene and get back to day-to-day life.

What did I find most useful? The information about the five different types. I've never heard about any of those ideas in the past, and when I read it, it does make quite a bit of sense. The Nursemaid plays with adult babies. The Governess punishes "naughty boys". The Queen commands her own sissy boy to do the chores. The Amazon has taken a man captive and "forces" him to enjoy it. The Goddess wishes to be pleased in every way and forces the male to prove himself before allowing him to touch her. If I had to put a label on myself, I'd easily go with Queen. The Queen's submissive loves humiliation, feminization, making sure the Dominant is pleased, and doing housework. Sounds like my Jor.

This book was intended for women who are interested in being a Dominant or for a woman who feels like their man would enjoy something like this. She does include quite a bit of "Females are superior" thinking in her writing, but it's amusing like that. Plus it helps to get you in the mood to Dominate someone. This book does include everything you need to convince yourself to try FemDom, why a male would enjoy it, and everything you need to learn the safety principles and how to set up a scene.

So do I recommend it? Wholly and fully. I haven't read a book that's been this helpful from a female Dominant perspective before. Unfortunately, the FemDom books are few and far between, but this one offers so much valuable and targeted advice that it would be perfect for anyone considering a position as a Domme or for anyone who wants to brush up on their current skills. In a totally random note, while all of the information in this book is very, very heterocentric, I do believe a Gay Male Dominant would benefit from reading this. I doubt a male Dominant with a female submissive would gain much from this however.

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The chapter breakdown:
1. Why become a Mistress? Unexpected pleasures.
2. The Reluctant Mistress: Learning to love command
3. Finding (Or Creating) A Submissive Male
4. Maintaining your Relationship: Balancing Fantasy and Reality
5. Establishing your Authority: Ways to Make Him Obey
6. Asserting your Dominance: Planning and Enacting your First Scene
7. The Art of Discipline: Advice, Techniques, and Implements
8. The Skills of a Mistress: Bondage, Humiliation, and Other Forms of Control
9. Fantasies: Discovering His, Fulfilling Yours
10. The Nursemaid: Diaper Discipline and other Nursery Tricks
11. The Governess: The Power of Discipline
12. The Queen: Maid Service and Petticoat Punishment
13. The Amazon: Bondage, Discipline, and Humiliation
14. The Goddess: Keeping a Worshipper at your Feet

The Mistress Manual is easily my favorite "female oriented" book out there so far. I've read almost all of them out there, and it provides a lot of good information. I wouldn't call it the "most comprehensive" book out there, but it does provide a lot of general information that will help you out with being a dominant female. The book itself has held up well to multiple readings and flip-throughs, and while I wouldn't read it again for the information, I've referenced it a couple times to mention things to friends.