Can't get much more basic or traditional than good old K-Y Jelly. Legend has it George Washington used to slather this stuff on cannon balls to keep them from freezing to the barrel during those cold winters in Valley Forge. This lube can be used for just about anything; it’s water-based so it’s safe on toys — just don't expect miracles.

The texture of K-Y jelly is very akin to thick hand soap that runs a lot. There’s something medical about its qualities, maybe it’s the packaging, but it just feels unsexy to me. It’s fairly slick but there’s still some friction when rubbed between my fingers.

The scent is very light. It’s not bad but it’s not good either. I have tasted this stuff many times over the years and it tastes like hand soap, so I’m pretty sure that’s what it is.

This stuff starts ok but will quickly gunk up on you. You really have to use a ton of this stuff and it will need tons of reapplying throughout the sex act. I'm not even sure this stuff is made for sexy times, I hear hospitals use it to insert tubes into peoples bums. Also this gunks up and is very hard to clean off properly.

In a sterile looking tube.