Silicone bendable rose - discreet massager by Evolved Novelties - review by Magician

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I started this date with roses, I guess I might as well end with one too.

I like to imagine Citizen Kane longing for this rosebud on his death bed, because I’m the kind of person who likes putting the image of an old man playing with a massager in your head. Think about it. Harder. You’re welcome. Oh, the toy itself? It really isn’t that good.
AAA batteries
Does not hold shape well
Mediocre vibrations
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review
What is it about the rose that makes it the center of so many sexual fantasies? Is it the shape? The touch? Is it the way roses drive you to orgasm when you press them against your clit? Wait, you guys don’t do that? That isn’t a thing? Well someone better tell Evolved, because they just made one for that exact purpose.

The bendable rose is a toy composed of a soft silicone, rosebud head connected by a “stem” to the base containing the controls and battery pack. The silicone head has a nice velvety texture, and is soft to the touch. Though the toy did not come with instructions, they became apparent enough with single button presses cycling through the 6 different settings, while holding down the button turned it off. You can basically think of this toy as a wired bullet, with the bullet part encased in a silicone shell, the wire shoved through a flexible tube, and the battery pack stuck into a battery pack. The vibrations are strong and varied. Since they’re inside the head and don’t have to travel through the length of the stem, you don’t have any wasted energy. The flexibility also allows it to become contorted to any specific region you need stimulating. When my wife and I used this in the standard missionary position, I was able to thrust much deeper and hold myself lower over her because the toy was not forcing us to compromise on our positioning. Also, because of the soft silicone head, my wife could apply pressure to her clit without hurting her pubic bone, the way some plastic vibrators might when pressed too hard during sex.

The above experience does come with some caveats, however. Though the rose will hold any shape you put it in under its own weight, trying to apply pressure using the base or stem immediately results in loss of rigid functionality. If you want more pressure on your clit, you’re going to have to press right on the rose bud, which basically nullifies a lot of the benefits to attaching the head to the base with a flexible body. Also, this last point may be splitting hairs, but I wouldn’t exactly call this toy discreet. If you were to put it on your desk, people would most likely not know that it were a sex toy. But it really doesn’t look like anything else either, which means that if anyone asks you’ll be hard pressed to pass it off as “That thing that aunt May sent along with her Christmas card. Let’s not talk about that, who wants pudding?”.

The Bendable Rose is an experiment in a type of toy that has a place in the world. The problem is, it’s not very good at filling that void. I believe that if the stem were stiffer, it would be a much better experience overall (I can say that about some other things as well, if you know what I mean). Should you decide to purchase this toy, do it because you hope for better things to come, not because it's a good toy. It has so many things going for it. It's a shame they didn’t come together in a better package.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Silicone bendable rose tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Massage
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • Mutual stimulation
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Do you like this review?
  • G.L. Morrison
    Brilliant review. Funny, literate! From the title to the image of Orson Welles creaming over this rosebud, completely unforgettable... but I still really, really want this toy. Here's hoping I don't end up crying "you told me so".
  • IndependentlyHappy
    Ha, the Citizen Kane reference made me laugh. Thanks for the review!
  • Kaltir
    Thanks for the review
  • mariedoll
  • A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
    Great review!
  • ms.anon
    Thank you!
  • BuckeyeGal04
    Excellent points!
  • Positwist
    What's the point of making a bendable vibe that doesn't hold it's shape?

    Thanks for the review!
  • Tammi Longbottom
    Great sense of humor
  • pitona
    thank you
  • SexySoundLab
  • LavenderSkies
  • gabyduffy
    very nice review
  • Cat E.
    Good review.
  • lovebites
    thanks for the review!
  • Bignuf
    Thanks for a good and helpful review.
  • ToriTastic
    awesome review
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