Isis - finger massager discontinued by Emotional Bliss - review by thatonechick

I bought the Isis because I'm pregnant at the moment. My beloved Tripler doesn't fit comfortably in any position, and I miss my vibe. I am super picky about my toys (they're expensive and I don't get to trial test them). The Isis was an indulgence buy.

First impressions:

The box the Isis comes in isn't terribly discreet, but it doesn't say "I AM A SEX TOY" either. Just "intimate massager," which is fairly descriptive. It's very professional-looking. One wouldn't be overly embarrassed if, say, your mother-in-law saw it lying on the bed. Not until she started asking questions, anyway.

The Isis is small, which is pleasing. It fits nicely into my hand. The texture has a bit of drag, but I'm hoping that won't be a problem. The charger is a no-nonsense thing. There are three finger attachments, presumably enough to suit any hand. The middle one fits me comfortably. The pamphlet it came with has already set the bar for this toy very high, just by the wording. It goes into the company policy, care of the product, and suggestions for use. This company clearly expects to be the best. Let's hope it is, for around $40 for this toy. The pamphlet claims that when this toy is fully charged it can run for 2-3 hours. I don't think I've ever used a toy for that long in one go, but I thought I'd throw it in there.

The Isis glows blue when it's on the charger (as it is now). I was a teensy bit disappointed that I won't get to try it out for at least several hours, but I knew this was a rechargeable toy when I bought it so that won't affect this review.

While I wait for it to charge, I'll get the maintenance portion of the review out of the way: All varieties of lubricant are fine, just don't get them in the charging hole. The Isis is in no way waterproof or water safe or water ANYthing, so keep it away from water. To clean it, just run a damp cloth over the dirty bits. This toy has an antibacterial quality (peels off in microscopic layers, to summarize) so you need not use any products with it. It doesn't look like there are any weird crevices for nasties to get stuck in. Just wipe it down and you're good to go.

We all know that rechargeable toys are an awesome idea, because batteries die when you need them and you have to loot them from somewhere else. A nice thing about the Isis is that you can leave it on the charger indefinitely with no damage to the toy (good thing for me, because I never remember to remove things from the charger).


After a few hours on the charger:

The "whisper quiet" that the pamphlet boasts is something of an overstatement. It makes buzzing similar to the one a cell phone makes if left on vibrate. Not something you can use with your room mate or significant other in the room. However, the vibrations, I think, will be most useful. I will test them more extensively later.


After more extensive testing:

The whiney buzzing sound this thing makes has made it hard to use. Not only can I not use it whenever I want, but it's also distracting while I'm trying to get off. I am very disappointed.

I can't use this, and it's very frustrating. It's such a cute little toy and I did spend my toy budget on it. The whine it gives off is entirely too distracting, though. I tend to set the standard by the Tripler, which I can use with my husband in the room and he doesn't know. He knows as soon as I turn this thing on.
It's just... disappointing.
If you don't mind the sound a loud cell phone makes on vibrate, and you like the cost, then this will probably work for you. As for me, It will probably be relegated to "the drawer". You know. Where the sad, unwanted toys go.

I honestly cannot get over the noise this little thing makes. I've tried using it several times since the initial review, and either someone's noticed the noise and come to ask what it is, or it's been too distracting. It just doesn't suit my living space or my preferences.

I'm sorry, Isis. You're really cute and the vibrations are nice, but you're too loud for this quiet chick.