Except that I have nothing to wear.
Technically that’s not true. I’m a bit of a costume and hat collector, so I do have quite a few pieces I could throw together, but the problem is that none of my options seems just right for an 1800’s hoe-down. Mostly because it’s hard to look hot at a hoe-down. In spite of the presence of hoes. Technically most of the people there will probably be wearing simple boots and t-shirts (and my granny will be wearing the latest JCPenneys look) but my sister and I feel that as the hostesses it’s incumbent on us that we (and our kids) are dressed in full-out prairie style. The kids are set because my sister can sew bonnets and prairie dresses like a mofo, but the complicated seams of a truly authentic Victorian-esque dress is a bit beyond her.
So today I went through my costume closet and found two options, complete with backstories.
Technically that’s not true. I’m a bit of a costume and hat collector, so I do have quite a few pieces I could throw together, but the problem is that none of my options seems just right for an 1800’s hoe-down. Mostly because it’s hard to look hot at a hoe-down. In spite of the presence of hoes. Technically most of the people there will probably be wearing simple boots and t-shirts (and my granny will be wearing the latest JCPenneys look) but my sister and I feel that as the hostesses it’s incumbent on us that we (and our kids) are dressed in full-out prairie style. The kids are set because my sister can sew bonnets and prairie dresses like a mofo, but the complicated seams of a truly authentic Victorian-esque dress is a bit beyond her.
So today I went through my costume closet and found two options, complete with backstories.
Option one: School marm with a deadly secret.
Elizabeth Baker: Part spinsterish school marm, part secret agent/flying-machine specialist. Her mathematical talents will later lay the groundwork for the Dewey Decimal System, but she isn’t afraid to flash a bit of ankle to get what she wants. What she usually wants is guns. She’s got a lot of secrets, that one.
Option two: Dance Hall Singer with a heart of gold.
Matilda Clover: Once known through-out the west as Evening Wilder (“My friends call me “Even”) Matilda was forced to change her name when she inadvertently killed a man by stabbing him in the face 18 times when he touched her knee without permission. Many suspect she’s a whore, but the men who come to her room only visit to buy her home-made, practically lethal moonshine which she creates herself out of a secret passion for chemistry. She is a bad-ass with a tiny gun (which was gifted to her by Elizabeth Baker, a strong supporter of women in booze sciences.)
Personally, I’m leaning toward option one because I don’t want to have to say “I’m not a whore” at a family gathering any more than usual. But I’m still not sure it’s quite right. That is, I wasn’t sure until my sister emailed me what she’d turned up when looking for adult Laura Ingall’s style costumes.
Option 3: And now I will never sleep again.
Yep. Option one is looking pretty damn good right now.
Awesome.. I like both of your costumes!
Love all the outfits! Would go with the first one since everyone knows prim looking school marms are always super freaks in private. Saloon girl is way too obvious. As for the case of the third outfit, I'm sure you'll find someone who thinks the plastic Laura Ingalls costume is super hot. Unfortunately you probably will only find them online at some very specific website. Then again, someone at the party might find it hot but I'm not sure if you want to know that about a family member.
Anyone who is a true Little House On The Prairie fan would know costume #3 is of Mary Ingalls, not Laura
Number 2 is more sexy, but your right. You can only say "i'm not a whore" so many times at a family gathering before it becomes weird. I average about twice a gathering. Once to my husband and once to the voices in my head that get louder when I get tipsy.
You could start with option 1 and as the evening progresses (read that as when folks get good and drunk) change to option 2. Like being the hostess of an awards show; you need a at least a couple of outfit changes.
I would burn option 3, except I suspect it flame retardant.
is it just me or does the mask look like chelsea handler?
If Little House on the Prarie had more ppl wearing things like costume #2, I may have watched more often.
Personally I would wear #2, but my family would expect it of me even if it weren't a theme party. But if you're really going for Little House on the Prarie (and not Mavrick) I would go with # 1.
Is it just me or does that Laura Ingall mask look like it belongs in the next Jason movie? Brrr thanks for sharing now I may never sleep again either!
#2 is gorgeous!
Good lord! I own that very VHS of Little House on the Prairie.
I hope my children will throw ME an anniversary party of LHOP. I like #1 because it reminds me of Ms. Beadle.
I like both but neither is quite right. The first one is better but seems a later period than Little House...which I never watched....even tho it had Little Joe in it from Bonanza....and I thought he was cute.
I think for pulling something out of the closet, they are both pretty spectacular. I'd probably have to wear something awkward and from this decade, and go as a time traveler. Great job!
Personally, I think you should go in a pair of pajamas and animal slippers. When people ask why you're wearing that, tell 'em the Doctor got you out of bed to go time traveling with him, but you seem to have misplaced the TARDIS. Oh, and if a sexy guy in a bowtie says to run? RUN!
I love both 1 & 2..but since you'll be with family #1 is probably your best bet even though #2 is a lot more fun
Hmmm, both are lovely, but I do not think Matilda Clover would be invited to attend any shindigs at the Ingalls' stead.
Good Lord! Did you REALLY just throw together those two outfits just by walking into your closet? You really are my hero!
what's so bad about that last one. It looks just like the changeable faces on those blow up dolls that the mythbusters use on occasion. I think there might be another use for those dolls too, but I doubt it's as usefu or funl as shooting at them with arrows and guns and stuff.
Option 2 fits your personality better. Just Do It!
I love you just for the Firefly reference in Option Two.