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  • Married...With Sex Toys: He Plays, She Plays

    December 17, 2010
    Married...With Sex Toys: He Plays, She Plays
    Ever hear that phrase: “Can’t find your arse with both hands and a flashlight?” That may be true for some folks, but if they’re looking for the clitoris, the Extase Liberte has both a light and a user-friendly design that will help even the uneducated find their way.

    Alan: Michele and I had been together for years before I happened across a magazine article that said that a fair portion of women are unable to have an orgasm from penetrative sex alone; that clitoral stimulation was the only way to make it happen.

    Whoa! Now that’s the kind of stuff they should tell a guy in high school, instead of all the preaching about not poking your princess until marriage. Unfortunately, they don’t, and I’m pretty sure that the bad back I complain about these days has something to do with all those years I spent humping away like a madman trying to “do her better,” which I never could since I wasn’t polishing her pearl in the process. I’ve since learned to pledge allegiance to the clit, which is lot easier to do with the Extase Liberte.

    The first time I used it on Michele was the day it arrived—one of the few times I’ve been lucky enough to get the mail before she did. Luck was also on my side when I figured out that she was outside, and had no clue that I was sneaking a sex toy into the house to charge it.

    Two hours later, the vibrator’s fully charged and Michele’s under our camper in the carport trying to take something apart, with her bottom half was sticking out from under the back bumper. What a great set-up for a sexual ambush!

    Michele: When I saw Alan trying to put some sort of light under my waistband, I thought he’d gone frickin’ crazy. It took me a second to figure out that the light was actually the back end of a vibrator. I just about knocked myself silly trying to get out from under the camper when I felt it vibrating on my clit. He wouldn’t let me move, though!

    So I’m lying there while he’s having his wicked way, hoping that nobody walks in on us and at the same time thinking, Wow, feels soooo good! in spite of myself.

    Alan: Just proves that there’s more than one way to restrain and arouse a willing woman. Silk sashes, leather cuffs, full-sized campers… Hey, whatever works. And I didn’t even have to take her pants down to accomplish my goal, because the Liberte is one of those toys you can angle in “the general direction” and it still hits home. Damn useful when you’re working in such cramped quarters.

    Later that afternoon we took the toy to the bedroom, and I did discover the one and only way that the Liberte is not so easy to use: That little sucker is as slippery as a minnow once it’s lubed, and it hit the floor several times before my wife got around to informing me that it felt fine without any. I think she was just getting a kick out of watching me have to retrieve it and clean it so many times.

    Michele: Of course I was. Just because a woman gets off doesn’t mean she isn’t entitled to a little payback when her partner has taken advantage of finding her in an awkward location! Even if she liked it.

    I think most couples will find the Liberte much more appropriate for the bedroom though, where it can both only be easily manipulated between two bodies, and it won’t be heard by anyone. It is a little louder than what I’m comfortable with for true public play, though it can get me off pretty much anywhere.

    Alan & Michele: So there you have it folks. That’s the story of how pleasing your lady’s clit can definitely lead to orgasm, though it may not get your camper fixed. And of how the Liberte is a great tool for getting the job done…on the lady, that is.

    The Extase Liberte. (Click image for more info.)

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  • Married...With Sex Toys: He Plays, She Plays

    November 19, 2010
    Married...With Sex Toys: He Plays, She Plays

    Is that a Couture Bliss Bullet in your pocket, Ma’am, or are you just glad to see me?

    Editor’s Note: Hello all. We’re pleased to introduce you to Alan and Michele, a married couple from … an undisclosed location, parents of a grown son, and budding connoisseurs in the sex toy world. Each month, this daring duo will test drive a newfangled sex gadget and share their adventurous on-the-road account in their continuing pursuit of sex toy nirvana. For their debut outing, Alan and Michele journeyed beyond the bedroom—and the house—carrying a concealed weapon of pleasure in Michele’s panties.

    Alan: So, it seems like everyone is going “green” these days. People are buying earth-friendly this, recyclable that, and more rechargeable doo-hickies than you can shake a stick at. Now, I’m about the ecology, and I’m no different than anyone else… Who likes forking out the cash for batteries all the time—especially for something you use really often? But even though it’s one of the few rechargeable remote control bullet/egg vibrators on the market today, I’d be lying if I said that was the main appeal of the Couture Bliss Bullet.

    Nope, they got me at the remote unit. We clocked its range to about 27 feet, which was pretty damn impressive. Even more remarkable? It works through car doors, floors, and even the two walls and a metal restroom stall at a local restaurant where your wife has retreated to try to get the vibrating egg out of her pants when you won’t stop teasing her with it. Michele would have probably been more irked about that little stunt, but it’s funny how orgasms can buy forgiveness.

    Michele: Well, the restaurant thing was partly my fault. I’d tried the bullet out a little on my own, and decided that it was too big and I was too small to be able to walk around comfortably with something the size of a hen’s egg hidden up the old cooch. I figured I could just stick it in my panties and be good to go. It’s certainly strong enough to work that way—but unfortunately, I didn’t think about the noise factor of wearing rather than inserting it.

    It’s not really “loud,” per se, but the low hum that it made in our bedroom was a a lot more noticeable in a quiet restaurant—not to mention that it was also vibrating the seat of the booth, and I was afraid I might be giving the guy behind me an interesting sensation to go with his steak!
    There was no graceful way to hide the toy in my hand even if I could have managed to sneak it out of my pants, and of course, I had no purse to stash it in (Note to self: Start carrying a purse!), so I did retreat to the restroom.

    Alan: What she’s not telling you is that she forgot that there was an “Off” button on top of the egg. That’s okay, she didn’t tell me about it either, until after I’d been sitting with the toy buzzing away in my pants, too. See, I couldn’t hear it in the restaurant, nor had I played with the bullet myself yet, so I let Michele tuck it behind my package before we went grocery shopping one day.

    I was doing fine with the first level of vibrations because it wasn’t much more than a gentle massage, but once she started cycling through all patterns, things began “coming to attention,” if you know what I mean, and I could hear my crotch humming.

    Let’s just say I was getting a little more pleasure out of it than you want with strangers around, so I excused myself, went to the parking lot and waited in the car.
    But, by that point I knew it was a toy that could turn both of us on.

    Michele: I can’t wait until we both have time to use it in the bathtub together. It was fun in the shower, but I’m thinking that using it in standing water will spread out the vibrations even more, and we’ve already discovered that the retrieval loop makes it easier to hold onto than some of our other toys.

    Alan and Michele: We zeroed in on the Bliss Bullet’s public play potential because that’s the first thing that came to mind when the words “wireless” and “remote” came up, but this is actually a cool couples toy for any situation. (We don’t recommend it for anal though, unless you consider having a doctor go spelunking for a lost toy to be a good thing, but other than that, anything goes.) If you do plan to go public with your pleasure like we did though, take our advice: If you’re going to let this bullet ride shotgun, be sure you’ve got a little extra ambient noise to camouflage the noise.

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