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The Bloggess: AIDS isn’t really that funny

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  Things that are funnier to write about than AIDS

And that’s when Victor left and I sat here thinking about things that are funnier to write about than AIDS. There’s a lot of them.

1. Cancer.
2. Intentionally running over cats
3. Comas.
4. The holocaust.
5. Being molested by Jesus.
6. Murdering hobos
7. Reasons why the Pope might be a cannibal.
8. The elderly
9. Gay, amputee ex-lovers
10. Superfluous nipples
11. Marrying people to steal their organs
12. Hitler
13. Cooking babies
14. Mass murder
15. Alcoholism
16. Abortion
17. Meth addiction
18. Fear of black people
19. Cutting off your evil mom’s head and taking it to your vet and pretending it’s your dead cat so you can have it cremated cheaper than a mortuary would do it so that you can keep your evil mother’s head in a separate compartment than the rest of her ashes so that she doesn’t somehow reanimate herself out of sheer spite.
20. Whether or not Jesus is a zombie.

And that’s a list of 20 topics that are funnier than AIDS that I’ve actually written about recently. So yeah, it’s not like I don’t have mad skills. I just can’t make AIDS funny. I even looked up “AIDS comedy” on the internet and Google was all “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I know, Google. Stop judging me. I give up.

PS. I asked a friend of mine who works at an AIDS center if he knew any AIDS jokes and he said he only knew a lame one about this guy that told all his friends he was dying from AIDS and his son was all “But you have cancer, dad” and the dad’s all “Yeah, but I don’t want them fucking your mother when I’m gone.” And then I was all “Oh my God, that’s…horrible.” And he’s all “Yeah, well, I didn’t say it was a good joke” and I’m all “No, really, that’s not funny at all” and he’s like “I KNOW. I TOLD YOU IT WAS LAME” and I’m all “Maybe you just have bad timing. Are you sure you didn’t fuck up the punch-line?” and then he sighed in disgust and hung up on me. You know why? Because AIDS isn’t funny. Especially if you fuck up the punch-line.


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Contributor: Rodney Lacroix
Rodney Lacroix  

Crap. I've been making AIDS jokes all day and people have been laughing. Does this mean that they're just being polite? Now I feel like it was all just cheap gold-clapping.

Contributor: Dr Dick
Dr Dick  

Hey! great article. AIDS isn't all that funny, but you are a riot. thanks for joining in the WAD Project. we're the better for your contribution.

Contributor: thefabulousmissb

Quick question about #6: Does "murdering hobos" refer to hobos who murder people, or hobos that are murdered by people? Like, you know that movie where rich old white guys like Dick Cheney took homeless people and hunted them down, but then they took the wrong guy who made them pay for their totally evil, probably puppy-raping ways? Either way, still funnier than AIDS.

Contributor: SnowestWhitest

I thought the joke was funny...but AIDS still isn't.

Contributor: iwantyouwantingme

So lets get this straight. they want you to make AIDS funny? yet they are the ones who want a warning label on you?! I think you should create a warning label about them... Something like... "I wrote this article because Sexis wants me to make aids funny, I am not responsible for the idea behind this article. Sorry to all those million people dying of aids." Sick. just Sick.