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Clubbing and Coupling: Couples-Friendly is the New Gentlemen’s-Only

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Once the realm of just dudes, strip clubs are now increasingly the domain of frisky couples with a hankering for a bit of harmless naughtiness.

  One and (Almost) Done

A controlled environment is one thing, but controlling the environment is totally different. Case in point: my 30th birthday. Per my request, Susan had invited a few other couples to join us for dinner and a nightcap at one of the city’s popular topless spots. It was going to be our first strip club outing together. Unfortunately, it was also going to be a disaster.

“I was definitely uncomfortable from the start,” Susan says. “I felt like I was going somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. I had no idea what to expect. I thought it would either be like the grimy strip clubs you see on TV crime shows or Flashdance, with the girls actually doing some sort of choreographed routine.”

It was neither, of course. “Once we got through the door, I sort of re-set my outlook,” Susan recalls. “We got a table, and I took a deep breath. ‘Okay,’ I thought, ‘I don’t feel like I’m in an episode of CSI. Nobody is looking at me like I shouldn’t be here. And the girls aren’t wearing leg warmers and oversized sweatshirts.’

“Things were pretty good at that point. I was still out of my comfort zone, but I was warming up to it. I could see how it could be fun.”

Other members of our entourage, however, did not see the potential for fun on the horizon. Originally, the group dynamic was meant to be supportive—a “we’ll-all-do-this-together” attitude. But the plan backfired.

Our friend April was suddenly consumed with guilt about how we could possibly be good parents if we were at a strip club, and Pam was having second thoughts about her fiancé’s upcoming bachelor party. Since Susan invited them, she felt responsible for their enjoyment, or lack thereof.

“Any time you’re the host, you want everybody to have a good time, and they absolutely weren’t,” she says. “It ruined the entire night because I let the way they reacted to it affect the way I felt. I didn’t experience it for myself… That’s why I think the first time you go, you should definitely just go with your boyfriend or husband.”

  Second Time’s a Charm

A couple years later, that’s what we did. “The disaster of that first time didn’t have anything to do with us,” Susan says. “I wanted to give it another shot without the external pressure.”

So on a Saturday night, after a concert, we walked into a club with no expectations and only ourselves to think about. The first time we sat down at the stage, a dancer named Brandi gyrated over and squatted in front of Susan. “You’re smokin’,” she said.

“Give me some money,” Susan told me.

I did, and she put it in Brandi’s fire engine-red thong. Brandi took it out and stuffed it in the breast pocket of Susan’s shirt. She repositioned herself on her knees at the edge of the stage and ran her hands up Susan’s sides and over her tits before retrieving the dollar bills. The crowd erupted and cash flooded the stage.

And not to be melodramatic about the whole thing, but it really was one of those “big moments” in our relationship—you know, buying our first house, having kids, our first successful experience with a stripper. “It was so liberating,” Susan reveals. “I discovered what it was to be sexy that night, how to own it.”


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