Humor-Satire: 10 non-returnable gifts that are probably worse than anything you’ll get this Christmas.

The Bloggess: 10 non-returnable gifts that are probably worse than anything you’ll get this Christmas

December 24, 2009

If you bought any of these things as a present for someone, you owe them an apology.

10 non-returnable gifts that are probably worse than anything you’ll get this Christmas

1. The “C-string”.

2. The artificial virginity hymen.

3. Vagina armpit tattoo.

4. Placenta Teddy Bears.

5. Vulva purse.

6. Inappropriate Edward Cullen underwear.

7. Amputated claw machine boobies.

8. Vampiric vagina.

9. Giant uterus snuggle pillow.

10. To ever use the showers at University of Michigan again.

Tags:

Comments

	John Carney (verified) Numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 and 9 prove that the recent updates to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual manual fall far, far short of capturing the true breadth and depth of mental disease. There should be a whole volume dedicated to "WTF Syndrome." #5 is hilarious. #10 has got to be a prank.	2 months ago
	AKAme (verified) omfg and I agree with the "WTF" statement! How do you find all this shit? HAHAHAHAHAHaaaaaa eh eh emmm	2 months ago
	AKAme (verified) omfg and I agree with the "WTF" statement! How do you find all this shit? HAHAHAHAHAHaaaaaa eh eh emmm	2 months ago

Make a post

Please log in:

Eden account

Forum

Discussion	Last Post	Category
Worst. Holiday. Gifts. EVAR [26]	Feb.07, 2010	Sexis Suggestions

Start a discussion
Please log in:
- Eden account
Forum Category
See all discussions

Author

The Bloggess: Sex is funny. Except clown sex. That’s fucking terrifying.; Jenny is that weird girl at your school that you never talked to and you wondered what happened to her and turns out she’s still weird and writes a series of blogs and columns about ninjas and sasquatches and porn. You can find her at thebloggess.com and she also has a horrible advice column on PNN.com. She’s odd and we wonder how she managed to live this long.

Interviews with The Bloggess

Most people know Jenny as The Bloggess, a prolific writer with a sense of humor and style that many are scrambling to imitate. How does a woman who hides in the bathroom at most blogger conferences and muses on clown porn get to be an online sensation?

Jenny is a columnist, blogger, mom and comedian. Her personal blog, [http://thebloggess.com/|thebloggess.com], is extremely popular and has developed a cult following, according to Marie Claire Magazine. She’s been a regular contributor to the online Houston Chronicle since 2006 and also writes a popular advice column for PNN and a satirical sex column for [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/columns/the-bloggess/|SexIs Magazine]. Jenny has been the keynote speaker at major conferences, as well as featured on countless sites including Salon.com and MSNBC; and Gawker once referred to her as an "interesting psycho". She prefers the term "creative visionary". Jenny suggests you ask her about how she gets her hair so shiny, or what’s wrong with her. But we know that’s a wig, and there’s nothing wrong with Jenny – she created a pitch perfect style that grabs readers, and keeps them. Whether inadvertently mobilizing the Bloggess Army, going to [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/bloggess-does-japan4-110691/|Japan] on a sex culture / geisha mission of sorts, interviewing [http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/adult-humor/bloggess-nina-hartley-best-friend-0204101/|porn stars], giving sex advice, or relating the hilarious arguments she has with [http://thebloggess.com/?p=5168|her husband], The Bloggess has us hooked. Join us in learning more about this unpredictable funny lady.

Read full interview