Trying to hard during a rough patch?

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Maybe you need to start the "foreplay" earlier in the day. Make little comments to each other..if you're not around each other that day try sending quick little text messages or emails to let the other know you're thinking about them. Then when you do see each other try slight caresses and kisses and light the initial spark. Then it might make the two of you more in the mood later on.

You can also have a somewhat scheduled day. Like on your days off from work or something. It doesn't have to (and really shouldn't be) set in stone but it can help you be more in the mood on those days. For us we're off of work on Monday and Tuesdays. At least one of those nights is usually a long sex session. It's not like we say "oh hey it's Monday again" to each other..but we just know that since we're off of work we'll have time and so we will start with little gropes and kisses during the day and by the end of the evening we're both really wanting each other. And having that one or two days a week that is "scheduled" it makes us want more sex during the week too. Because there's no expectations of it. There's no expectation that it has to be really long..that's what our days off are for. It can be a quickie it can be just oral, it can be whatever it is we want it to be and there's no pressure.

I've always found that trying to hard and setting up doesn't work for us. It just leads to one person feeling guilty if they're not in the mood and then the other being resentful. If you want to set up before hand maybe try a bit of seduction before hand to make sure he's in the mood and then say you have to go freshen up first and then go and set up.

I think you are just trying too hard..setting up a scene, costume...I would just step back...use your toys and relax. As we know but don't always act on, satisfactory sex can not be forced! Sometimes my b/f when he comes back from a trip; I am so..so..hot and ready and he just gives me a kiss and reads something. Doesn't happen all the time but I guess he has to decompress from his trip. Good thing, he does come around but at the time I fell neglected, rejected, alone and frustrated.
Could also be that you are both under stress and can't get beyond some issues.
Be good to yourself first and go on from there.
All the best..

Happens sometimes here too. Usually if it has been short-lived.... only a week or two we just let it ride until we get back on track. However, for anything longer than that we will usually just make up our minds to do and stick to it whether we are really in the mood or not, and it always seems like afterwards we tend to get back on track and end up laughing about "why did we wait so long"?

We've gone through periods like this in our relationship, too. My suggestion would be to take the pressure off both of you by setting a "date" for sex, whether it's once a week, twice, whatever, until you get through the rough patch. This way, everybody's needs get met, and no one feels the pressure of having to initiate sex and risk the other person saying no. My partner and I did this, and we thought having the sex planned out would make it too boring or routine-- but on the contrary, we both found ourselves looking forward to "date night."

Plan a date night!

If you really want to be evil you can "wake" him up in the morning (depending on if he is a morning person or not). Guys are, more times than not, naturally horny in the mornings. So if you wake up earlier than him on the weekends or something, try massaging and lightly scratching up his legs. Try to not wake him up yet though. Play with him for a bit down there and Voila! he will wake up, and so will something else! Give him a playful smile (you can dress up if you wanna go the extra mile) and pin him down. Tease him a bit and just have some fun as he is waking up If he isn't a morning person, then, I don't know... try initiating in the shower with him or something?

Hope this helps!

thats a hard one but sometimes that just happens. time will pass and things start to pick up again.