This is NOT a lubricant.

Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I was reading Cosmo and I was looking at the funny mini stories they always have. One of them I was more mortified by than humored by. The guy and his gf were in a hurry to have sex but needed lubricant. This dumb ass decided that SHAMPOO would be a good idea. He said ir worked for a bit then she had a horrible reaction and had to go to ER.

WOW...

Has anyone used something as a lubricant that did work or even tell us what didn't. Has anyone wanted to suggest something that was really unsafe?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
ToyTimeTim , Tori Rebel , Passionate Pastor , ScottA , Avant-garde , Lavender*Moon , B8trDude , Carrie Ann , Trashley , Misfit Momma , Danielle1220 , The Nakanas , The Girl With No Name , DrNick , Tuesday , I'll Miss You EF :( , DixieDoo , tim1724 , Miss Morphine , PropertyOfPotter , Emma (Girl With Fire) , OroNomi , lemony , Stujen , RubenesqueAna , null , bunnyrydr , sporker , mrs.mckrakn , Ladyt1003 , Valentinka , Gallowraven , Cream in the Cupcake , Stephanie Marie , BeautiFullFigured , Astia , jankit , Fuzzycow , Kaltir , aBeastlyLittleThing , phunkyphreak , BlueDog , Howells , AAAToyGirl , Lio , Redheadinfla , chikillabonita , That Man from Mars , FaerieLove , bayosgirl , LennaKieran , Cherrylane , jenn g , SMichelle , PeppermintFuntimes , BlackxxxRose , PonyGirl Sin , Rawhide , Daemonin , Silverdrop , blacklodge , Jake'n'bake , Squeaky , Mx.Nekora , Chami , jmex83 , Khanner , Sauceboss , Falsepast , Melan!e , quackbuster , Mikemanz , HeartThrobby , SkylarrStarr , SimpleHedonist , icelandia , TarotLadyLissa , jdFtM , sexytileena / absolutely love sex , AishiteruYO , ArcaneBlast , 1001 Pleasures , marriedlady123 , amatoryrose , Eva Schwaltz , doowop , nemoemit , mdnght , IvyFayette , WD40watcher , ChubbyNerd , edeneve , Lovely Jubblies
93  (19%)
timinus , Onanist , Twist , PussyGalore , Jessica Elizabeth , Alys , Vaccinium , Eden C. , Noira , K101 , AMGuidroz , ToyBoy , ajwonder , Scott Ghost , LAndJ , Gimme More , WildDreamer , travelnurse , Woman China , Trysexual , SexyWalrus , LoooveMonkey , LuckyLady , MrsHouseWife , mandiangel , pixiedustVixen , sweisb4100 , spiced , godot
29  (6%)
Alicia , Andromeda , Hannah Savage , Alan & Michele , Kindred , Jobthingy , Envy , Waterfall , sophie2229 , Not here , Destri , Lady Venus , Blinker , Kayla , mllebeauty , clp , twistedheartsx , RadRach , namelesschaos , iceman681 , aleong , ~LaUr3n~ , Selective Sensualist , Jenniae09 , buzzvibe , Liz2 , Darling Jen , SexyySarah , Coralbell , Victoria , Airen Wolf , Persephone Nightmare , puffkix , Libra , LikeSunshineDust , Alegria , kck , YvetteJeannine , Madeira , sextoygeek , nolongerhere , Pleasure Piratess , onehotmomma , Adriana Ravenlust , PassionQT , sausagelover , Spring , Illusional , beautifulpierced , EndlessFrost , Sir , Naughty Student , ZenaidaMacroura , Lily Night , Shellz31 , Love Buzz , shill619 , Hot'n'Bothered , lovehurts , Sohotdinosaur , Raggedy Andie , V.T.T , Lonewolf , sasweetheart89 , Unconventional , J's Alley , Dusk , Fun Lover , omgmegg , MrRainybowbow , wondertoes , Sera , Pixel , chaos4fun , leatherlover , G-Lo , SomewhatSomewhere , cherryredhead88 , Matheri89 , bzzingbee , PuplePleasures , Lif3sambiguity , XXXXXXXXXXXXX , Fierce Like Tiger , TheSexista , Lummox , Tart , OhMy! , Kinkyquing , toxie m , SingingStarr , sbon , JK105 , potstickers , dv8 , Redboxbaby , rdytogo , Airekah , married with children , Lucidity , idunshire , pinkcupcakes , *HisMrs* , darthkitt3n , VanillaFreeSex , Teaser , Lavendar Menace , indiglo , 7Miles , REDRUM , Angel deSanguine , Mnemosyne , sweet seduction , lamira , That Guy , IndependentlyHappy , UnknownGirl , vanillaSpice , thatonegirl , BigDNextDoor , PinkPedal , kawigrl , Mr. & Mrs. Peg , ahammer , mama2007 , kk232362 , Stela MD , tigerkate , ud328 , Stagger13 , Miss T , Crystal1 , ellejay , VenusianThunder , ninaspinkturtle , Herp , vegan.guy , freshbananas , aphroditelady , LavenderSkies , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , BadassFatass , bbb , bunny love , al16 , Skitlz , chantal coopette , Dame , ichwillwaffels , UrNaughtyaAngel , Kinkypixie , bobowaxer , PiratePrincess , *Huxley* , xoflxokcxo , Lithaewyn , BadgersRose , CantankerousUnagi , Diabolical Kitty , jjonk , froggiemoma , MaryExy , Karakaten , Seharra , sexygoddess , teeny <3 , amandaco2011 , mandiegk , Joie de Cherresse , lolsos , Kat Shanahan , Brianna91 , slynch , charcat , Gunsmoke , cujo467 , tickle me pink , TexasBrat , joz , tokensgirl , krisvida , mariedoll , Eorwyn , Rin (aka Nire) , Anjulie , The Curious Couple , NarcissisticLust , Wyo Daisy , big b , Ajax , Rayne Millaray , Oblivious Baby Girl The True Me , Fullbeauty , Rhazya , meganthomas , Ivy Wilde , DeliciousSurprise , Andersonda , Chaotic Rantings , aliceinthehole , ily , MeliPixie , Jon S , Love Perpetua , SiNn , CherryDyke , Kate , T&A1987 , BabyL0ve , wrecklesswords , giftdgecko , Hibangel , ashxxx , Jenimi , Missmarc , LQ , wetone123 , mistressg , Maxx , Curiouscat , Katelyn , eeep , Nazaress , ScarletFox , pinkpottergirl , Dreaus , kz916 , Eliza , A.Mari , Gracie , te , PassionateLover2 , Anthony , Do-Re-Mi , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , I'mNotYourToy , Puss in Boots , jbknows , Zombirella , Illumin8 , MissCandyland , Greenleaf , BlooJay , melloship , MAy86 , AvaLaRoux , AJvil , Willow Wand , Lucky21 , dhig , wrmbreze , True Pleasures , hiroshiro , VSgirl , petname , Nkev , Positwist , charletnarouh , Beck , CadmiumKitty , blondie , Vegan Silk , ghalik , Thomas90 , pootpootpoot , Clubbinseals , Fawkes , roskat , ciderspider , treefrog88 , lovekink , Feisty , bh253 , WhoopieDoo , Gone (LD29) , SadoMas , Terri Strickland , Petthekitty , Caleb90 , mpfm , Love Obsessed , pasdechat , padmeamidala , mmmmm , ginainohio , Ouroborean , Lioncub , *Camoprincess* , BoobCopter , Deeder , Augustxsins , Abombadong , goofballmaster , Zandrock , KRD , Kitka , pirata , (k)InkyIvy , Red Vinyl Kitty , aryce , ejrbrndps , sweetiejo , x203 , bdan , XxFallenAngelxX , AliMc , butts , Bignuf , Creepellah , lilacviolet , Lildrummrgurl7 , HannahPanda , brevado , quinceykay , Septimus , No-nita , iabicpl09 , Robespierrethecat , srexom , Arlinnae , invisiblehat , tunacan75 , falalena , KrazyKandy , Bleu , victorsummers , chicmichiw , Alyona , Fluffy Snuggles , Anne , purpledesert , joiedejouets , apryls , SydVicious , leanright69 , Lavendar , J5ive , amazon , kkybf , rawrmonster , inkky , atorturedsoul , wwwww , Real or memorex , petlove0311 , atryonix , aluminummm , jr2012 , VeganChick (is Gone) , ustwo , sunkissedJess , TheirPet , Llewey , CaseyDeuce , marmouse , A&M , ashboo32 , mjtheprincess , showgirl , Rawr4483 , Lady of the Lab , Kitten has left the site , ChaiMocha , Pastafariette , LoneOokami , Derekkk , Pandwhora , DenRu85 , Young&Adventurous , Shelbs
370  (75%)
Total votes: 492
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09/21/2010
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Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
That's horrible. I've heard of people using soap in the shower. Ouch!

Years ago, we used to use this stuff called Joy Jelly, and it was horrible, it was "flavored" it must have been all glycerin and coloring and flavor. But I had no idea what else to use and they sold it at Spencers, and the Pill made me so dry I needed something. I ended up with so many UTIs and vag infections. Awful stuff.
09/21/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I have used shampoo, lotion, conditioner and shaving cream for both anal play and masturbation. Never had problems but not the best, thankfully I have found lube that works so much better.
09/21/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
My boyfriend uses soap and body wash to get himself off in the shower on occasion. I've ever used non-lubricant but still pretty body safe products such as edible oils- not meant for sexual lubrication but not harmful, in my case at least.
09/21/2010
Contributor: Passionate Pastor Passionate Pastor
Coconut oil is what we use sometimes. It is for organic cooking but it is safe for sex, but it is not compatible with latex so be careful with your condoms
09/21/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
I can see a guy doing that to teach himself a lesson in the shower but not for sex! ACK!
09/21/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Too much rubbing with strong soaps can get uncomfortable - I'd stay away from soap of any type as a lube on mucous membranes. I have used conditioner for masturbation, seems to work OK.
09/21/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
Quote:
Originally posted by Passionate Pastor
Coconut oil is what we use sometimes. It is for organic cooking but it is safe for sex, but it is not compatible with latex so be careful with your condoms
I've never tried coconut oil, but I have heard this recommendation before. It was in an interview with porn star Belladonna, actually, and she said cold-pressed coconut oil was her favorite lubricant. After hearing this I went on a quest for cold-pressed coconut oil, but decided against it because it is in solid form, like much like shortening, until you heat it up.. which is a bit too much of a hassle for me before sex. I am interested in finding if it's available in liquid form as well. I was only able to find it solidified at a local store.
09/21/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Not here
I've never tried coconut oil, but I have heard this recommendation before. It was in an interview with porn star Belladonna, actually, and she said cold-pressed coconut oil was her favorite lubricant. After hearing this I went on a quest for ... more
You don't actually have to heat it. It has a super low melting point and will melt upon contact with skin. It does a great job and works well for those with sensitive skin as long as you're not using condoms.
09/21/2010
Contributor: Not here Not here
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
You don't actually have to heat it. It has a super low melting point and will melt upon contact with skin. It does a great job and works well for those with sensitive skin as long as you're not using condoms.
Awesome info, good to know!
09/21/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
A friend of mine tried Moroccan Oil, that hair care treatment oil. It's argan and macadamia oils, but really shouldn't be used for lube. Luckily she just used it for anal, but...oooh, it would ahve hurt if she used it for vaginal penetration.
09/21/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
It's good for sex and also for massage. If you tip over the jar during either of these activities the coconut oil usually doesn't go anywhere. The exception is during the summer sometimes when it melts. I don't like straight oils for anal, they're too thin.
09/21/2010
Contributor: mllebeauty mllebeauty
I never have, but I've heard olive oil is also good as a lube. I can see that but I don't want something that oily near my delicate areas. It'll take forever to clean up!
09/21/2010
Contributor: timinus timinus
Before anal, this girl suggested using scented hand lotion. Being 19 and a dumbass I agreed. Hilarity did not ensue. Sure, it started off great, but my dick BURNED for hours after. I was a bit drunk at the time, and I did not pay any attention to her plight.
09/21/2010
Contributor: clp clp
The porn stories I've read regularly use butter. I imagine this would have been a go-to pre-lube days, but still. I'd want pancakes afterwards.
09/21/2010
Contributor: Mr. E Mr. E
We keep a container of Coconut oil "handy" for massage and hand jobs. It solidifies at room temp, and liquefies at body temp. It is silky smooth, doesn't stain the sheets, has a pleasant scent and the price is certainly hard to beat.
09/21/2010
Contributor: iceman681 iceman681
my pool seems to work pretty well
09/22/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I have used shampoo, lotion, conditioner and shaving cream for both anal play and masturbation. Never had problems but not the best, thankfully I have found lube that works so much better.
Anally?! For real? Those bottles say for external use only for a reason! I can see them working fine for male masturbation though.
09/22/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
There was a woman who came into the ER with what had to have been one of the most flaming yeast infections in the history of womankind. She said she had run out of KY Jelly, so she thought grape jelly would be a good substitute. The infection was so bad that it had spread to her thighs.
09/22/2010
Contributor: Jenniae09 Jenniae09
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
There was a woman who came into the ER with what had to have been one of the most flaming yeast infections in the history of womankind. She said she had run out of KY Jelly, so she thought grape jelly would be a good substitute. The infection was ... more
Oh my goodness! That is horrible! Just because it has the word jelly definitely does not mean it is the same. These stories just make my vagina happy it has me lol.
09/22/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by clp
The porn stories I've read regularly use butter. I imagine this would have been a go-to pre-lube days, but still. I'd want pancakes afterwards.
LOL
09/22/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Anally?! For real? Those bottles say for external use only for a reason! I can see them working fine for male masturbation though.
I know, . But I was "young, dumb and full of cum". I did not learn about lube till I was like 24. Thankfully there was no problems, now nothing goes in but lube.
09/22/2010
Contributor: buzzvibe buzzvibe
I have used grapeseed and coconut oil for massages and lube, but I primarily stick with real lube.
09/22/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I heard of coconut oil but I have never seen it in shops, even in NYC. It sounds as if it would be very erotic. I have to try it!
09/22/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
All I can say is ouch, and what were they thinking? LOL
09/22/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Liz2
I heard of coconut oil but I have never seen it in shops, even in NYC. It sounds as if it would be very erotic. I have to try it!
I've heard good things about Coconut Oil too - but from what I've read, purity is a concern, some are cut with paraffin (wax). Worth checking out though.
09/22/2010
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
I used to use soap for masturbation.
09/22/2010
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I would love to try the cold-pressed coconut oil as a lubricant if I could be confident that it was pure and that there were no by-products in it. Does anyone know of a reputable place to buy it?
09/25/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyTimeTim
I know, . But I was "young, dumb and full of cum". I did not learn about lube till I was like 24. Thankfully there was no problems, now nothing goes in but lube.
And now you're preferred lube is flammable! But that's still a huge step up from shaving cream
09/25/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
And now you're preferred lube is flammable! But that's still a huge step up from shaving cream
As long as I don't stroke fast enough to create excessive heat.
Thankfully the lube cancels the friction.
09/25/2010