Do you think it's weird for a virgin to have her first penetration by a toy?

Mr. John

Quote:

Originally posted by solitudinarian

It's how I did it! It made me a lot less worried about my first time and better prepared for it.

I think you are spot on with your reply.

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05/21/2013

dustykatt

Everything about sex should be about what makes you comfortable. If this is what makes you feel good then do it. I think that it will make your first time with someone else better because you will able to know your body, your likes and dislikes and be better able to communicate these things to your partner.

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05/21/2013

angel42539

Nothing wrong with it at all.

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05/21/2013

CS2012

I personally didn't have sex until my ex husband and I were married. It was my ex husband who told me about sex toys on the night we were married. I lost my virginity to him and I am glad it was to a person and not a toy.

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05/21/2013

wicked48

It isn't weird and I wouldn't consider it losing your virginity. Get that vibe out of the box and put it to work! You're gonna love it!

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05/21/2013

MikeyWayFan

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more

There are lots of kinds of virginity, and one doesn't necessarily affect the other. So, although you might lose your toy-virginity, that doesn't mean you've lost your virginity to a cock or fingers or anything else.

For me personally, how or when someone loses their virginity doesn't change who they are or their future sexual encounters. I think of it like any other act: once you do something, it's not like you can't do it again. And again. And again. For example, do you remember the first time you ate a food you really enjoyed? Did you enjoy it the next time you ate it? Sex is kind of like that. Your first time doesn't have to be a specific way or with a specific person.

What I'm trying to say is that even if you consider using a toy losing your virginity, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, using a toy can help you figure out what you like, so by the time you find a partner, you can let them know what you like and make the experience better for you and your partner by getting what you enjoy, and giving your partner the opportunity to do something that makes you feel good, which in turn will be very good for your partner's self-esteem

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05/22/2013

MikeyWayFan

Quote:

Originally posted by charletnarouh

I think virginity is a completely antiquated, misogynistic and just plain stupid concept to begin with. But I define "sex" as "any act by 2 or more people that involves the genitalia of at least one of the individuals involved in a ... more

I think virginity is a completely antiquated, misogynistic and just plain stupid concept to begin with. But I define "sex" as "any act by 2 or more people that involves the genitalia of at least one of the individuals involved in a mutually consensual and pleasurable way." According to my definition, unless you count your sex toy as a person (with all the personhood and anti-abortion lingo being slung around who knows! But I certainly don't), then masturbation with a toy couldn't be considered sex. Even though I don't believe in "virginity" I don't think anyone could argue that you could lose your virginity without having sex and playing solo with a dildo or vibrator just isn't sex. I think it's smart to experiment and play with toys before first intercourse. The hymen is also an antiquated concept, at least in the way society teaches it. The hymen is a thin membrane held over from gestation in the womb. During gestation, the hymen protects the female fetus' internal sex organs. As the girl ages, especially once the hormones from puberty are introduced, the hymen reduces until, in most cases, it is a little fringe around the edge of her vaginal opening (there are exceptions to this rule and some girls may never have had one or theirs may have simply disappeared during development altogether). This little fringe is rarely "broken". It is not some barrier to be popped or perforated. It CAN be torn, but with proper stretching, lubrication, arousal and gentle handling, it can simply be stretched with no pain or discomfort, just like almost any other soft tissue in your body. Your first time doesn't have to hurt, there's no need for bleeding or tearing or breaking anything. Playing slowly, gently, with lube, by yourself with no pressure can allow you to adequately stretch your hymen and teach yourself to relax and accept penetration without pain. Thus, your first intercourse could be a much more enjoyable experience. Not to mention learning more about your body and your sexuality and your orgasms (because we are each responsible for OUR OWN orgams!) will help you enjoy sex and communicate your desires with future partners. I think playing with toys before you play with a partner is absolutely the way to go! less

Loved this response. Very educated and well-reasoned, and puts into words a lot of thoughts I was having but couldn't put very coherently at 3:00 in the morning

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05/22/2013

MikeyWayFan

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

Thank you again for the honest, positive and encouraging responses, everyone! With the glass dildo sale going on today, I blew out my edenpoints on the gold-laced g and amethyst! I bought "I Love Female Orgasms" (the book--which is ... more

Glad to see you got a positive response from this discussion I hope your toys worked out well for you.

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05/22/2013

GirlyGirlRed

To lose your virginity you have to have an intimate penetration with another human being IMO

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05/29/2013

limitless

Losing your virginity can have little to do with the actual act of penetration or the hymen breaking. Of course there are people who will throw around their own definitions, but in my view, it's not lost until you have SEX. Pleasuring yourself with a vibrator is not sex.

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05/31/2013

alliegator

Not at all. Mine was. Well, after my fingers that is. I think it's a great thing because I think it better that someone be comfortable with their own body sexually before bringing another person into the mix.

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05/31/2013

Nightstone

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more

better it gets broken on there own terms then have there first time be akward and painful

this way it would just be akward

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05/31/2013

Herzer

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more

Sounds like a good way to work up to the real thing and avoid any anxiety.

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05/31/2013

TiffanyW

Technically, it's not loss of virginity. And I think it's better to use toys first so the act of sex doesn't hurt, and you are prepared.

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05/31/2013

sunflower

The concept of virginity is outdated and arbitrary but no, it isn't weird. If you're more comfortable with your body and know what you like and dislike, you will have a better first time. I think it's better to start with toys tbh.

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06/01/2013

SecretlySensuous

This is what I've done. And, after having a think on it, I still consider myself a virgin.

2 dildos so far, a vibrator, and more toys on the way!

For me personally, what helped me understand was hearing how being with a live person is very different from being with a toy.

Is it weird? From my perspective, life would have been a lot simpler for me had I not become sexually curious during this stage, but it's normal for it to happen (our bodies are designed that way). Once that is awakened, I think it's much healthier to use toys than to 1) stifle it, 2) grab a man for the job, or 3) improvise unsuitable objects - the latter is what I did as a teenager and ended up injuring myself before I knew any better.

For me, sex toys are normalizing my otherwise warped sexual experiences and perceptions. I'm really glad I'm able to work out this stuff on my own rather than having to wait until I'm with a sexual partner. Less drama/pressure this way.

So I guess what I'm saying is that if it's weird, then I'm weird right there with ya - and not ashamed of it! If someone wants to think I'm "less pure" or whatever then they're entitled to their opinion and I'm entitled to ignore them.

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06/03/2013

Nezzie13

I don't think it's weird: Masturbation is perfectly normal, no matter what your sexual experience level is, and if you want to use a toy, go ahead!
I wouldn't consider it a loss of virginity: Many people equate "virginity" with "has never had penile-vaginal intercourse", and as such there's a distinction between inanimate objects (tampons, dildos) and a penis. Granted, that definition is slowly changing, and there have always been people that feel that any sort of premarital vaginal penetration is wrong ("No tampons for my girl, she's a virgin!")
I think that we should all define things for ourselves. If you consider yourself a virgin after using a toy that's valid, and if not, that's valid too. Who can say otherwise?

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06/08/2013

lslsls92

I used a toy on myself before having sex for the first time and because of that, was so relaxed and able to have a very good time the first time.

Also, virginity is pretty much a social construct that society has thrust upon women especially. The hymen stretches for so many things that it's sort of tricky when it comes to sex. Also if you are rather relaxed, even during your first time, you often won't bleed. (And that's a good thing as far as enjoying sex goes.)

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06/13/2013

surreptitious

(Review Program Mentor)

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more

I am surprised that so many people consider this to be a loss of virginity! I wonder where those who feel like oral sex is a loss of virginity would fit in along the spectrum.

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06/14/2013

never shy

I think losing virginity takes two not you and a toy I did not use a toy before the real deal but whatever floats your boat each person is different and feels different about things

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06/14/2013

Kitten B.

Not weird at all and I definitely don't consider it a loss of virginity!

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06/14/2013

Virgingasms

Not at all. I'm a virgin and I'd probably go crazy with sexual frustration if I didn't use toys.

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06/15/2013

SickOnSin

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more

I wouldn't consider it losing virginity if it's a toy. Simply because there aren't two people involved. Yes there is penetration, but it's by a toy by yourself.

Go ahead use the toy and have fun with it! Get to know yourself, what turns you on and most importantly how to make yourself cum. Cause when that inept guy is trying better to have a directions than flying blind

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06/18/2013

LuLuRiot

Honestly it isn't weird. You control your virginity and no one should shame you for you having control over your body. Do what feels right for you! Forget what everyone else feels ?

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12/09/2019

Otelia

not weird totally typical....and I think you would still be virginal...happier, but still a virgin....

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12/12/2019

MandaB

Virginity is a social construct.

If you would consider it a loss of virginity, then that's what it is (and it's not weird at all).

If you don't consider it a loss of virginity, then it isn't. And again, not weird at all to have your first penetrative experience via a dildo.

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12/16/2019

aznbbgirl

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more

You can't lose your virginity from a sex toy and starting with a toy could make someone feel more comfortable as they learn to explore their body on their own first before sharing it with someone else.

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08/10/2020

madame macbeth

Quote:

Originally posted by marrythenight

The reason I'm asking is because I was talking to some girlfriends about toys not too long ago, and they do know I'm a virgin, and I did say that I got an actual vibe recently (the bcurious bgood--it's still sitting in my closet in its ... more

Virginity is a construct that is outdated because if the whole madonna/whore construct. Seriously it is better to know what you like because otherwise the first time will be awkward. Not that the first time with any lover (battery or human) is not a tiny bit awkward.

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09/11/2020

madame macbeth

Quote:

Originally posted by mariedoll

Your last sentence made me do a spit take followed by many laughs.

I totally giggled at the last line.

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09/11/2020

I preferred a mix between the two

Not at all if she ia comfertable with it its her choice

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11/17/2020

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