This is not your average dildo. I mean, yes, it is, it's a glass dildo, and you insert it into the vagina (not the anus, sorry), but it's something special. You make a beautiful homemade dinner, you know, with that lasagna recipe that your grandmother left you that you cook on special occasions. You light up those candles you've been meaning to use and stick them in fancy silver holders, and after you're done wining and dining, you take him to the fireplace and talk about what you want to do with your lives. After he talks about how much he wants kids and how his career, while hard and strenuous, is fulfilling his dreams of saving infants from tidal waves. But there's just something missing in his life.

Then he gets down on one knee and proposes that you, yes you, are the gorgeous blonde/brunette/red-head/silky-black haired lady missing in his life and he just needs to marry you then make sweet sweet love to you for the rest of his life. And then you do it on the floor. And it is good....

Well, something like that. But yeah. I love this thing. So much.

If you haven't seen my Amethyst review (no hurt feelings if you haven't) I do gush on about how much I love glass. It's that temperature of sitting glass, the shape and form of bulbous tempered beauty that just makes me fall to my knees and thank the stars that hundreds of years ago we realized that melting sand was a super awesome idea. Loving glass might be a bit of a niche thing, but then, let's face it, the sexually aware are slowly become a niche thing, something a whole lot of people don't take time out of their schedule for, and if being so withdrawn and different is wrong, I don't wanna be right...

But yeah, it's made of glass. There are some bumps, but there isn't a whole lot of texture going on. Look down at the consumer pictures on the product page, because the bumps there are definitely the right size. The product page image makes them look bigger. So, if you're a texture fanatic, you may not be pleased. Those little bumps are still titillating, just not as much as I'd hope they be. To be honest, I didn't to a whole lot of research on this toy before buying. I saw that dark, midnight blue color, the kind of color that makes you wanna kick back with a glass of merlot and fuzzy slippers and not give a damn about the world... Sorry there-- But yeah, I literally just took a peak at the product image and pressed buy...

I'm a bad person.

This is a double ended dildo, which I always find fascinating-- both ends are handles and sweet, sweet lovers made of cold ice that heats to the touch... Sorry, love escaping again.

To get to the point, (ha ha, point), the pointer end is curved slightly to allow for the toy to hit the G-Spot, whilst the other end is bulbous like a globe, and roughly the size of a small rubber bouncy ball. I never knew I'd like something roughly the size of a bouncy ball in the holiest of holies, but OH MY GOSH did I mention that if this were a human, I'd be in wedded bliss in Bermuda by now???

It is a new feeling to have the bigger end of the toy go in first, but I've never found something that hit my G-spot in the same way! I'm so impressed, I'm just ticked pink and rolling in joy. It's such an eye-pleaser, so fun to roll around in my hands and enjoy in great sensuous pushes, yeah, you get it, I'm in love. I'll try to cut the cheesy-ness now.

This guy doesn't exactly looks like a dildo, but like most glass toys, it doesn't exactly look like an exotic paper-weight either. I'd suggest the toy bin for mister Midnight when company is around, just to be safe.

I'd suggest you see all my gushing above, but that's not fair to the person who jumped to this part of the review for the performance only.

But yes, pretty simple. A nice drop or two of lube and everyone's ready to party. In my experience, I'd suggest starting out with the smaller, sprite-like bulb end before switching to the rubber-ball shaped end. It's hard to start out with something so large. At least, to me it felt very large. Now that I measure it, it comes in at around four and a half inch circumference. Roughly (and with poor math) that's a 1.5 inch diameter. That's a bit bigger than the diameter of the rest of the toy. Maybe my vagina is that sensitive, and it's probably that, but it felt like a big difference. I don't know how that will work out for the rest of y'all, but take that into account.

It is a comfortable toy. There are no rough spots. Your vagina will thank you. Do what you normally do with a glass toy, with all the heat and cold play you can stand and I'm sure you'll be a very happy woman.

Preeeeeetty simple, folks. Glass is amazing to clean, because just like fine china, it will squeak when it's clean. At least... that's what I think fine china does. (I'm cheap, I wouldn't know).

But yes, soap and water and you're ready to go! The toy comes with a small, red velvet pouch from eden, just like the pouch that comes with the Amethyst, and it isn't big on padding. The glass is tempered, but since I'm paranoid (and viciously jealous of another lover hurting my true love *aka, my steel toys*) I'm going to double pad it or at least keep it apart from the heavy toys.

Other than that, this is not a high maintenance toy. It's your glorious darling that may or may not bruise when hitting the floor, but it's also a man who can move on. Yes, you can sterilize this man and give it to a friend. Glass toys can be boiled, a guaranteed disinfectant, and makes it safe to use amongst your friends/lovers. That is a great tag line for any glass toy, by the way.

I AM IN LOVE!

And on a more important note, something real silly here, but the color of the glass in photos isn't a true depiction of it's color. It's not as dark as some of the photos make it out to be. Think deep-sea blue, or cobalt blue, not midnight blue. That shouldn't really be a problem, but in case you are insisting on the deepest, darkest blue ever, this isn't it. Also, those little bumps are not clear but ruby red! I thought that was such a cute touch! I'm big into colors, and seeing unique color combinations makes my day.