Hung vac-u-lock - realistic dildo by Doc Johnson - review by laurelnev

The Big Boy

This baby was just a bad match for me from the start like most of my internet dates seem to be. I don't want my toys to weigh more than the average Sunday night dinner roast, and I don't need to try to integrate my work out into my sex life. When I pick this sucker up, I look at it and think "Damn, that's pretty. But it's so big, it's daunting. I'd hate to meet the man that was attached to that in a dark alley some night."
Realistic looking, Good feel and smell
Length, Weight, and Girth make me really dislike this toy
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


What can I say: this is NOT my favorite toy. I think it was doomed from the start. I kind of forgot about it being on the way until one day, my doorbell rang. It was the newly arrived snowboard from next door with a misdelivered package. She could barely look me in the eye when she explained she had opened the package by mistake. When I saw what was inside, I saw why.

The Doc Johnson hung is a very big boy, and it is very heavy. I've been recovering from some minor injuries due to a slip and fall, and my wrist took some of the damage. This Big Boy weighs about as much as your average Thanksgiving turkey and is far too heavy to take up valuable space in my favorites drawer by the bedside. At a full twelve and a half inches long, it's a little too big for my liking as well.

This series of toys is made to act as an "accessory" to others; one can strap it on, if one desires, or insert a bullet for vibration. Unfortunately, my bullet was not quite strong enough to add anything to this baby, and I do not own the one meant to go with this unit. It is way too weighty for me to imagine strapping it on. Were I looking for something that was a combination shake weight and sex toy, I might find some use for this big baby.

This toy may be good for those who like heft, but I'm afraid it was a little too hung for my personal tastes. It could make for a very interesting bracelet stand though.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gag gift
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Attachment

Material / Texture

This is a very realistic looking penis although its size makes it only realistic as a dream appendage. It has a very realistic texture as well. Unfortunately, the package insert warns against use with certain lubricants, and I would definitely recommend a lubricant with this item. If you buy this toy, you also should buy the recommended powder lubricant to go with it. I'd also recommend you buy a smaller sized model to begin with, and maybe you work your way up to this one.

I do like the smooth texture and gel-like feel and might really enjoy this in one of the smaller sizes. I did not notice the plasticy smell that is often associated with toys of similar materials.
    • No odor
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

I love the design, the shape, and the feel, and were I Mrs. Jolly Green Giant, I probably would have really loved this baby. It really is very pretty to look at, but I'm sure it's sheer size would scare away any mate who might feel he'd have to compete with that. It's huge! It is way to huge for my liking and way too big to be discreet. It might make a real good gag gift for a divorce shower though. It is way too heavy for me to want to lift - especially with an injured hand.
    • Advanced
    • Large
    • Realistic


As mentioned previously, this is one in a line of toys and accessories. It is compatible with both a harness and the EZ-Rider ball. If I owned the latter, the weight of this product would probably be an asset. Its shear girth prevented me from finding it very useful at all.
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

According to the packaging, this is some kind of space age, anti-bacterial material. You're supposed to clean it with warm water and dish-washing liquid. However, the packaging warns against exposure to any type of petroleum-based lubricant. Doc Johnson Powder Lubricant is recommended for this product.

Its size makes it difficult to discreetly tuck away. I recommend stashing it in a shoebox under the bed rather than trying to cram it into an already-crowded drawer. You can mount it on a pole and use it to store bracelets between outings.
    • Difficult to store
    • Easy to clean


This is not discreetly packaged at all. The wrapper is a far cry from plain brown. It comes in a bright green box, and it announces its size and weight in bold large print. On the side is a diagram demonstrating how to incorporate it into a strap-on system. There is an "actual size" photo on the box. That being said, Eden always ensures it arrives at your door in discreet packaging. Just don't open the box in front of Granny or the kids.
    • Very informative

Personal comments

I like realistic toys. I like toys that feel semi-real, don't smell, and are perhaps slightly better endowed than our favorite real-life lover. If I could have put this Big Boy through a shrinking range, I might have enjoyed it. It's just way too big and way too heavy for my personal taste and rather small framed body.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Kayla Kayla
  • Rank:
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Do you like this review?
  • Eden C.
    Thanks for the review! Sorry it didn't work out!
  • Solar Ray
    Great review... another product I can avoid.
  • NuclearTeapot
    You deserve an award just for trying this out!
  • SiNn
    awesome review
  • Eucaly
    Very descriptive review; thank you!
  • Snozzberries
    I laughed at the part about your neighbor. I'm sorry.
  • jeangel246
    Thanks for the review
  • megan1987
    thank you!
  • samanthalynn
    nice review
  • MistressDandelion
    Oh my, what a nice snowboard you got there, huh?

    Oh well, this dildo must be a sport in itself, it looks so heavy...
  • richsam
    thanks for the review
  • terrytas
    Thanks for being so thorough
  • sugar&spikes
    thanks for the review !
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