The Satisfyer came to me extremely highly reviewed - a friend told me she'd have bought it for me but was afraid I'd find it tacky to get a vibrator as a birthday gift, so I bought it for myself. First impressions weren't that impressive - it was nicely packaged, but seemed a little small. I was a little disappointed that it didn't come with a wall adapter, only a USB cord. I'm thrilled I was wrong. This thing is a BEAST.

I gave it a good wash and charged it before settling into bed. I wish I'd realized before my first use that the silicone head pops off, because it makes cleaning so much easier! Even so, when I first turned it on, I wasn't impressed at all. This was it? My friend clearly had no taste. You can barely feel the vibrations outside of the head, even when pressing it against your fingers. I sighed at my wasted money but pressed the vibrator up to its highest setting and pressed on.

Y'all, as soon as this thing touched my clit, I realized I was sooo wrong. The vibrations that seemed barely tangible against my hand were far more intense when they were nestled against my clit. I had to turn it down. I had to turn it all the way down! It was great.

After my first use, I treated the Satisfyer with far more respect; it's now more of a once-in-a-while toy, because the vibrations are so intense and tend to leave me feeling raw and abused if I've been playing too aggressively before using the toy. It's still what I reach for if I know, I need something strong, that I'm willing to work for. It's never a fast orgasm, but it's always intense.

It's generally quiet, though every so often the vibrator will be positioned in an odd way, and you'll get a bit of noisy, almost suction-like sounds, but it's easy to reposition it.

It has a pretty decent battery life - I charge it pretty religiously after 3-4 uses of about 30m each, and I've never had it die mid-use. I do wish that there was a battery indicator to show how low it gets.

The vibrations are exclusively localized to the head, and can only barely be felt when it's not directly pressed against your skin. The only way I've been able to even feel the intensity is with a fingertip pressed against the silicone head.

I'm pretty sure I prayed to Jesus during my first use. I now call it the toy that helped me find religion. It's extremely, extremely intense, and it's the only toy that's made me squirt.