A gateway out of Vanilla

This resource is fantastic for both old and new players a like. As you read through the experiences and suggestions you can find a multitude of things to increase your awareness and safety while you play, not to mention the amount of pleasure you deliver to your partner.
Published:
Pros
all around reference guide to SM provides excellent resources for looking into other specifics
Cons
explanations in the bondage section can be confusing, primarily written for a Dominant
Rating by reviewer:
5
useful review
If you are looking for a gateway into the world of SM then this piece of literature is definitely the right place for you to start. Wiseman provides an excellent set of knowledge for everyone that has ever considered SM play. In the Preface of the book he attempts to put the reader at ease assuring them they are not the only person in the world curious about SM and goes on to help ease the transition into the basics he presents in later chapters. Following the preface and introduction are some tips on finding someone interested in SM in your area. Wiseman goes into safety extensively making sure the reader understands things like safe calls and safe words. Simple things that you don't often think about that could be all the difference in the world.

Personally, when I ordered this book I was thinking of a few friends of mine who had asked me about the SM world. Being a “player” for a few year and having read snippets of this book I figured it would help them get into the scene. Before I hand out anything to people that want to learn from me I generally read it and make sure that they can talk to me about the material, so I did that in this case as well. As Wiseman covered the basics of safety and playing, I found myself nodding and following along with things he had to say, I also discovered some places that I myself could improve. I think one of the greatest things in this particular book is the checklist that he suggests using before ever getting into a play session. This can be found in the basics section of the book. If you aren't sure what you are into this is a great way to flesh out a scene with your partner. It will also help you from getting carried away and going to deep into SM your first time.

The book itself is well written and easy to follow as Wiseman transitions from the technical aspects of a scene, to personal experience, and back again. He is also careful to continuously point out that SM is something that you should always keep looking into. I personally find myself reading articles and stories about the safety of play methods and activities that I have engaged in for years. Because of the risks involved with aspects of this type of sex continual research and keeping up on things is very wise advice. The book continues on to cover the basics of several different techniques including clamps and pinching, flogging and spanking, and basic bondage. Each chapter presents safe and deniable options for each of these activities and the risks involved as well. Towards the end of the book Wiseman goes into more specialized fetishes defining them for the reader and providing sources for them to pursue each interest if they so choose. Guiding his reader to clubs and news letters and telling them the proper and respectful way of getting the information they want. The final sections of the book are devoted to finding SM players in your area. This section is very useful for those that want to speak with others that have their interests. It suggests places to look for information and how to go about contacting clubs in your area. It also gives you some contact information for national organizations and clubs that send out news letters.

In short this book is something that I will keep in my library forever and suggest to old and new players a like as a great resource for learning and reference to the safe practice and enjoyment of SM activities. Wiseman is thorough and insightful and will never leave is reader without at least an idea of where to go for more information.
Follow-up commentary
This book has become a staple for me and I have lent it out on multiple occasions to help answer others curiosity about the "Darker" side of sex. I really have put this reference through extensive use and re-use and it will remain in my collection for years to come. I would still recommend it to anyone looking for a gateway into the world of BDSM. It will help anyone approach this new sexual practice with an open mind and show you that you are not alone in thinking some of these things might be fun.

In the past couple of months I find myself looking at it after seeing or hearing about a new BDSM practice, not only for opinions on this new practice but also to remind myself to keep an open mind. I keep thinking back on reading the section about why some long time players don't follow some of the "rules" in their scenes, and then thinking on what rules I have bent and broken and why.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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  • Contributor: Jimbo Jones
    Even though it bills itself as an introduction to S&M, it sounds like it has useful reference information for more experienced players (such as yourself) as well. Was there anything you found that you did not agree with, or does it go right along with your understanding of things? Since you felt like the bondage section was more written for a dom, (I assume you are more of a sub) did you find it helpful at all or was it just useless information for you? Thanks for the review.
  • Contributor: Darkness Withinus
    Actually Jimbo I am more of the Dom type now though I have played on both sides of the coin. The reason having it written for one partner was less helpful was because you learn so much from seeing both sides of the relationships. The best Dominants have been submissive. As far as things that I disagreed with there were a couple of places in the book where I caught myself saying that isn't as safe as was being implied. Take for instance when they talk about metal wrist restraints I have known a couple of people that have had some interesting effects of extensive use of metal handcuffs. But if you use them correctly they can be "safe" I just prefer to stay away from them myself. Back to the bondage section and the writing to a Dominant partner. Its an interesting feeling to be bound and not something you are generally ready for the first time it happens, or at least I wasn't. That said, it would be nice to see a book that tried to prepare a submissive for that experience as well as the Dominant. Anyways just my thoughts all in all its a wonderful resource and like I said I will keep in in my library forever.

    Oh and thanks for stopping by and reading my review.
  • Contributor: Lynn
    As a submissive, who has been bound, it would definitely be helpful to see a book try to prepare one for that. I definitely didn't know what to expect my first time around, but because of the support and care of my Dom, it became an experience that I have come to love and long for. I will have to read this book sometime because I myself am interested in some of what your review says it has to offer! Big smile
  • Contributor: Darkness Withinus
    Well Lynn Eden is a good place to pick up the book or if you are lucky your Dom might have a copy maybe you should ask him. Thanks for reading the review and I hope you find what you are looking for in this book.
  • Contributor: Anica
    Sounds like a great book to add to your collection! Thanks for sharing!
  • Contributor: asharette
    I wonder if my Dom has a copy as well. This would make for an interesting and beneficial read, me being fairly new to the world of BDSM.
  • Contributor: Darkness Withinus
    Perhaps he does, it is an extremely good book and I suggest it to everyone
  • Contributor: lexical
    I definitely have to add this to my collection Winking Thanks for your review!
  • Contributor: Ghost
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Chris15461
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Azule
    Thanks for reviewing I've definitely been looking for something like this to start.
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