Guide Me to Orgasm

The Elusive Orgasm begins with an introduction of the author, Vivienne Cass, PhD, to the reader. Cass is a clinical psychologist who takes a particular interest in the areas of sexual therapy and sexual orientation. She mentions the different work she has done and also lists the organizations for which she is a member. I am not aware of any other titles by the author at this time; I believe this is the only book she has written.

In my opinion, Cass has a style of writing that is easy to understand, yet still sounds educated. She is a very in-depth author who stresses both the psychological and physical aspects of having an orgasm. I loved the fact that there were quizzes and writing exercises included in all the chapters, which makes the learning experience far more interactive and personal than reading alone. The writing exercises really guide the reader to explore their own thoughts and issues on orgasm difficulty, and it also makes for easy reference later.

I'd like to go through each chapter now and speak a little as to each of their contents. Afterwards, I have included some pictures on the contents of this book, including: Table of Contents, list of Illustrations, and a sample exercise from Chapter 7.

CHAPTER 1 lists the five types of orgasm difficulties, followed by a discussion on the pressure to have one and negative feelings associated with not having one.

CHAPTER 2 involves the readiness to overcome orgasm difficulties and where the motivations to do so lie. Cass poses two questions to the reader and asks for an honest answer. If the answer to either question is no, she warns that the helpfulness of this book will be greatly limited.

CHAPTER 3 defines an orgasm. Cass asserts that an orgasm is the result of a high level of sexual arousal. The first exercise offered is about listing one’s different sexual triggers in nine categories, including touch, smells, and sounds. The chapter then goes into extensive detail regarding the female sex organs, for which there are color diagrams at the center of the book. Next, Cass goes through the stages of sexual arousal, followed by the physical and emotional reaction to orgasm. The chapter rounds out with orgasm difficulties.

CHAPTER 4, CHAPTER 5, & CHAPTER 6 take an in-depth look at the five different types of orgasm difficulties listed in Chapter 1. There are sporadic quizzes to help the reader assess what type of difficulty they have and the possible causes behind it.

CHAPTER 7 sets clear goals on what needs to change. It has tables listing all the issues from Chapters 4-6. Based on the quizzes from those chapters, the reader now fills in tables that help summarize where her issues are and is able to prioritize which affect her the most.

CHAPTER 8 discusses lifestyle stressors such as busy schedules, stress/upset, and boredom.

CHAPTER 9 concerns personal thought life, including being goal focused, being “in the moment”, being in charge of emotions, positive thinking, being passionate, and avoiding guilt.

CHAPTER 10 is where Cass really starts giving instructions on making a change. Topics include fantasizing, orgasm during intercourse, and undoing effects of sexual abuse. Writing activities include listing things you can/cannot change, quiz on habits that effect arousal, and swapping negative thoughts for positive ones.

CHAPTER 11 switches the focus from the self to being with a partner. Resentment, loss of attraction, and boredom with a partner are discussed.

CHAPTER 12 is for those who have health problems. Cass covers pain, medications, dealing with health changes, hormones, supplements, and the use of sex toys.

CHAPTER 13 teaches you to orgasm through masturbation. The chapter begins with some background information and personal attitudes toward masturbation. Cass then goes through 5 steps of her “personal change program”, explaining in depth both the psychological and physical components involved in obtaining an orgasm.

CHAPTER 14 is the final stage of the program, where the reader (hopefully) will be helped to reach the goal of orgasm during sexual interaction. The chapter starts out talking about positive aspects of sex with a partner and asks the reader to examine her feelings about orgasm with a partner. There are then 7 steps involved in the “couple change program”, which are meant to be done with a partner.

CHAPTER 15 is basically a brief afterward that reviews what has been learned through the program and ends with some thoughts on positive thinking.

The final pages of the book house the author’s sources and a thorough index of the book. After this, there are also a few blank pages included in case the reader would like to take notes.

This book is a paperback with 306 pages. It measures approximately 8x5.5x1". This book has a good binding and looks high quality. The cover is a light card stock, the pages are off-white matte sheet paper, and the illustrations are printed on white glossy paper. The cover has the title printed in bold, colorful lettering, so it may not be suited for discreet reading in public. Since the cover is white, there is also the issue of keeping it clean.

I found this book to be a very enjoyable read. Cass has a style of writing that manages to help the reader explore difficult issues, but not take all the fun out it. Since I have just finished reading this book, I have not yet put all of the advice into practice, but I can say that I expect that this will make a significant difference in my sex life. I want to give the program adequate time in practice before ruling on its effectiveness. More details to come in my product update.