System JO glide massage oil 1oz - oil discontinued by System JO - review by lexical

I genuinely dislike all of the System JO lubricants that I have tried. I'm a snob about my lubricant and System JO comes across to me as barely a step above KY in quality, performance, and appeal. Despite all that, I went into this with a clean slate as I didn't even know that it was produced by this company until after the fact. Still...This product is no exception to the rule.

System JO's All-in-One is billed as a "Sensual Massage Glide, Personal Lubricant, and Skin/Tattoo Conditioner". It performs well as a massage glide, but not as a personal lubricant or skin conditioner. I don't have any tattoos, so I can't vouch for its effectiveness in that arena. I think this product is an acceptable choice for partnered or individual massage, but it's certainly not the best option.

Additionally, this product's identity is somewhat mysterious. Here on EF it is categorized as an oil, when in fact...it's silicone-based. Which, by the way, is not stated anywhere on the packaging. Unfortunately, I've been unable to find a complete list of the ingredients used in the manufacturing of this product. The label states that it has just four ingredients: Cyclopentasiloxane, Cyclotetrasiloxane, Dimethiconol, and Dimethicone. The first two are skin conditioning agents and the second two are silicon-based polymers, which puts the silicone in "silicone-based". At the time of this writing, I am still waiting to hear back from System JO about a complete ingredients list.

A gentle squeeze of the bottle easily pours out a thin stream of this fairly thin, runny massage glide. To me, it feels tacky and matte directly from the bottle. It's not at all the slippery, silky sensation I was expecting. Even though the bottle is smooth and doesn't have any features to help you grip it, I didn't find that to be a problem since the stuff is not that slippery to begin with. It does not stay in place well..honestly, it gets everywhere. My experience with as anything but a massage oil has been very frustrating.

There is no taste and no smell, which is a credit to this product. It truly is odorless and tasteless. However, it also comes in Lavendar and Citrus aromas, as well as a Warming variety.

This "All-in-One" Sensual Massage Glide, Personal Lubricant, and Skin/Tattoo Conditioner fails to meet the vast majority of its claims. If I could find a way to make that horrible "Wrong Answer" game show buzzer noise via text, I would. Over and over and over again.

Massage Glide: This is the only one of the three uses that I will ever find myself employing this product for, if at all. It works decently well as a smooth, oily lubricant for massage. It is not slippery or sticky, which gives the massager a good amount of feel and traction for effective massage.

Personal Lubricant: Ugh. I hate it. It was a frustrating experience to have to reapply this lubricant over and over throughout my session. It makes my skin feel sticky and it gets everywhere. I actually had to get up and wash some of it off before I could proceed because it was just getting in the way of my getting down to business. I'll never use it for that again.

Skin conditioner: It just doesn't seem to absorb into the skin very well, let alone conditioning it. I felt that I had to scrub with soap and water to get it off of me completely. Additional ingredients can help to encourage absorption, but I'm not sure if those are included in this product.

"Never sticky or tacky" - No. This stuff is tacky straight out of the bottle. As a massage oil, that is actually a benefit in my opinion. As a lubricant...not so much.
"Super long-lasting" - As a massage oil, this truly is long-lasting. It performs reasonably well and you must wash it off to get rid of it completely. As a lubricant, I felt the need to reapply so often that I may as well have not been using it at all.
"1 Drop of JO Glide equals 10-15 Drops of other Massage Oils" - This is just ridiculous. I would love to know exactly which "other massage oils" required 10-15 times as much to get the desired effect. The other massage oils I've used performed just as well as this one, requiring a similar amount in order to be effective. And how much is "1 drop", anyway?

The packaging for this lubricant is slightly more discreet and classy than the rest of the System JO labels, with its clear and muted blue and silver colors. It comes in a slender (4.5" tall, 1" diameter), cylindrical bottle containing 1 fluid ounce of the product. The size makes it handy for travel and the push-down lid opening is sturdy enough that it's not terribly likely to accidentally come open in your bag. Just to be safe and avoid a mess in your purse or suitcase, I would put it in a plastic baggie.

The instructions read: Apply a small amount of JO massage glide over the body for a silky smooth massage. Apply more if needed, or as often as necessary. Compatible with latex condoms. May be applied to the genitals as lubricant. The warnings are as follows: If irritation or discomfort occurs, discontinue use and consult a doctor. Very slippery on surfaces. Clean spills immediately. Keep out of reach of children.