Dr. Laura Berman Thalia - wand massager by Cal Exotics - review by Jul!a

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A Great Idea, But Still Underwhelming

The Thalia is a fantastic idea, and I can't fault it for trying. It's similar to many other wand massagers, only the head seems to come out the side rather than being on top like most traditional wands. The controls are fairly easy to figure out, and you get your choice of interchangeable heads and it's rechargeable. On the down side though, it's loud and the vibrations are buzzy and it's expensive for what you end up getting. Good idea, but not so much in practice.
Published:
Pros:
Rechargeable, Can be used in the shower, Decent for clitoral use, Strong vibrations
Cons:
Loud, Buzzy, Doesn't work that well for massages, Heads can be difficult to remove
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review
What is it, and why are you telling me about it?

Thalia is a toy that's really neat in theory, and while not an overly bad toy does have some shortcomings. Well, shortcomings might be the wrong word. I've always had a very underwhelming feeling accompany my thoughts on the Thalia.

Fair enough. What does the packaging look like?

The packaging is not discreet at all, but isn't terribly tacky either. It's a flimsy plastic that doesn't hold up well to being used as storage long term. It doesn't start to fall apart, but it doesn't continue to stay closed very well either. It's mostly clear and you can see the Thalia through it. It tell syou that it's a 7 function rechargeable massager with three interchangeable attachments, and lists a few more fun facts about it. The back has a more in depth look at the toy and its functions.

Ok, that doesn't sound too bad. What exactly does it do? What can I use it for? And how does it work?

I'll try to go in order there for you and answer what it does first, although that very closely ties in to what you can use it for. It's similar to a wand style massager, only instead of the head being straight in line with the rest of the body it turns and seems to come out of the side. The head is removable, although it can be a bit difficult to get it loose at first. To change out the head, just screw a new one on. Before you can use it, you'll want to charge it. If there's a good charge going on the control pad on the inside of the handle will light up red, and turn to green when you can remove it from the charger.

The best thing you can use it for is giving massages or clitoral use, although the box also suggests using it on your labia and inserting it slightly as possible options. You won't be able to insert it more than an inch or so probably, and that depends on which head you're using.

After you've charged it and you're ready to use it, you'll want to press what looks like a down button first. It'll be the bottom depressed circle out of an up/down configuration. This gives you a red light that lets you know that there's power. Press up to turn it on and cycle through the vibrations, and down again to turn it off at any point. If you miss a vibration you can either turn it off and go back up, or you can cycle back through to get to where you want. There is a variety in the strength of the vibrations, but you can't control it. The first is a steady vibration, second is a steady pulsing, third is a quick pulsing with a few different levels of solid vibration, fourth is another pulsing that starts out quick goes to long pulses and back again, fifth starts high then drops real low and slowly cycles back up, the sixth is another pattern of pulsing that feels like do-do-do-doooo --- doooo doooo doooo, and then the seventh is another mix of solid and pulses. The vibrations definitely aren't quiet, and I would take care to keep the door shut, get under the blankets, and turn up the TV or radio if you're going to use it with people home. They are fairly strong, but they're also pretty buzzy.

Ok, I think I get it. Can you tell me more about the attachments, measurements, and what it's made of?

Sure! There's a hard plastic intense nubby attachment that's probably going to be better for general massages than anything else. There are also two TPR attachments that can be inserted, or you can just enjoy the texture. One of them is tiered with three bubbles total, and the other features a small series of ribs. Both of the TPR attachments are about 2" tall where the nubby one is about 1" tall. The tiered one is about 5 1/2" around, the ribbed one about 5" around, and the nubby one about 5" around as well. In total Thalia is less than 7" long, and is easily wielded by petite hands although large hands may feel like they're dwarfing it. The long handle is also make of the same hard plastic as the nubby attachment.
Experience
Can I use it underwater? How do I clean it?

I definitely wouldn't submerge the Thalia at all, although I have successfully used it in the shower. You'll want to use a water based lube if you want to insert any of the attachments at all, or if you want extra glide while using Thalia on the rest of your body. To clean it (or use it in an aqueous environment) make sure that the charging port is securely closed. It'll keep spray out, but seems as though a full submersion would kill it. You can clean the heads with warm soapy water, as well as the rest of the body if you're so inclined, although it'll be easiest to just detach the head from the body.

Sounds easy enough. Got any pictures?

Sure do! Here's the Thalia being held, and what's under the heads.



Experience:

The idea behind this was pretty cool, but unfortunately nothing about this stood out enough for me or my husband to want to use it more than once or twice. I used it in the shower once, and was able to insert the tiered attachment and use it clitorally. It's easy to wield for massages, but the TPR heads just gather lint and the plastic head actually kind of hurts. There are good points to it, but the good points just don't seem to outweigh the bad enough to actually recommend this one to anyone.
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Comments
  • married with children
    great review, thanks for sharing.
  • EdenJP
    Thanks for the review!
  • Nice to Eat you
    good to know!
  • Liz2
    Great review! I love the concept but this toy needs more work......
  • MrWishyWashy
    Great job, thanks for sharing!
  • Jul!a
    Thanks everybody!
  • Tammi Longbottom
    Thank you for the review. Lovely pictures!
  • MidnightB
    Thanks for the review.
  • Jul!a
    Thanks for reading!
  • GONE!
    Thanks for the awesome review and pics.
  • Jul!a
    You're quite welcome!
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