Total euphoria mini-massager - discreet vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by RubenesqueAna

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G, that feels good!

Total Euphoria is a fantastic massager great for vibrating stimulation all over the body. It is ideally shaped for G-spot stimulation, but can be used in a variety of other ways as well. Its tiny size, simple controls, and ergonomic design make it incredibly user-friendly. As long as you can still hear your porn over its loud vibrations, you're in for a lot of good, dirty fun.
Strong vibrations, perfectly shaped, easy to use and control
Fairly loud, hand numbing
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


The Total Euphoria by California Exotic is a fantastic little vibrator. Its shape suggests use for G-spot stimulation, and it certainly gets the job done if that's what you're looking for. Vibrations are plenty strong at the tip, and its shape is designed with a curve so that it can easily hit your G-spot, making it perfect for this sort of stimulation. It's also fantastic for use as a clitoral vibrator. I've found that if you turn the toy so that the control button is facing your body, the neck of the toy can be pressed against your clitoris, hugging your pubic bone and allowing for fantastic clitoral stimulation. Vibrations extend to this area of the toy, providing plenty of stimulation. It can also be used to stimulate other sensitive areas of the body on either men or women. Because the toy has a distinct neck with a flared handle, anal use is also possible, though I did not use it this way.

The Total Euphoria can be used either for solo play or with a partner, though the shape of the toy makes it difficult for a partner to use to stimulate the G-spot; it's much better designed for solo play in that respect. Because of its volume, I wouldn't suggest using the toy for a bathroom quickie unless you want whoever is waiting for the bathroom to think you're being attacked by a swarm of bees. For play when volume isn't so much an issue, however, the Total Euphoria really does its job well.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Clitoris
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

Total Euphoria is completely tasteless and odorless. It is made of PU coated ABS plastic, so it's safe to use with water or silicone-based lubricants. There is just enough of a velvety drag on the surface of the toy to allow a firm grip without worrying that it will slip out of your fingers when covered with lubricant. Because it is made of plastic, it is completely firm; it is not bendable at all. This is great when firm G-spot stimulation is desired.
    • No odor
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

Total Euphoria is shaped for optimum G-spot stimulation. It lives up to its aspirations as a G-spot vibrator wonderfully. It is on the small side, measuring a little over 5" long, which is nice for reducing hand strain for longer sessions or that clumsy feeling you may sometimes get trying to use larger, bulkier toys. The handle may be a little too short for some women wishing to stimulate their G-spot, though I had no trouble (and I sometimes DO have this trouble with G-spot vibes). It measures just slightly over 1" in diameter, so beginners should have no trouble inserting the toy. The small size of the Total Euphoria allows for easy travel or storage. It should also be noted that its shape is also amazing for clitoral stimulation. The neck fits perfectly over the clitoris (at least for my anatomy) with the button facing the body, allowing for very easy stimulation with little effort from the user.
    • Beginner
    • Ergonomic

Functions / Performance / Controls

The Total Euphoria has three settings: two steady vibration settings and a pulsation pattern. I'd call the lowest vibration a medium-high setting and the second a very high setting, with the pulsation pattern pulsing on and off at the higher vibration. The vibrations are definitely strongest in the oval shaped head of the toy, but they can be felt throughout the toy fairly strongly, including in the handle of the toy. The toy is turned on by pushing the rubber-covered button just past the neck of the toy. It's very convenient to use and easy to push; however, I had no problems accidentally pushing the toy during use, which is great. To turn the toy on, you simply push the button and it will begin vibrating on its lowest setting. Pushing it again turns up the vibrations, a third push will turn on the pulsation setting, and a final push turns the toy off. It should be noted that when I first push the button to turn the toy on, it surges for a half a second on a strong vibration before settling on its lower vibration setting. This didn't cause me any heartache and isn't really much of an issue.

Because this is a plastic vibrating toy, it is on the louder side. It is especially loud when pressed against certain body parts such as the pubic bone. It becomes significantly quieter when inserted into the body.

I don't recommend using the toy in the bathtub, despite its waterproof rating. I'd consider it more splash-proof than waterproof, as I noticed some body fluids and lubrication enter under the battery compartment cap. It's probably safe for shower play, but if you intend to submerge it for any period of time... well, just don't.

The battery life on the toy seems to be more than adequate. After several sessions with the toy totaling a solid two hours of play, there was no decrease in vibration power. To prolong battery life even longer, I suggest removing them between uses. I also don't recommend using the toy for too long in a single session. After about 10 minutes of use, the toy is noticeably warm. After 20 minutes, I no longer felt comfortable leaving the toy on for fear of it overheating.
    • Not enough variety
    • Not very discreet
    • Powerful

Care and Maintenance

Because this toy is made of PU coated plastic, it is best cleaned with warm water and soap or toy wipes. Do not try boiling the toy, as it will ruin it. Take extra care to clean in the crevice of the battery compartment, as I had body fluids and lubricant trapped in there after use. Because it cannot be fully sanitized, I don't recommend sharing the toy or using it vaginally after using it anally. The material is safe to store with other toys and can safely be used with water or silicone-based lubricants.
    • Easy to store


Total Euphoria came in a clear plastic box. There's nothing particularly special about it, though it could easily be wrapped for use as a gift. There is little information provided on the box other than information easily gathered as soon as the toy is removed from the box. The box does say to use the toy with water-based lubricants "for maximum pleasure," though I'm not sure why, as I've never heard of any issues with PU coated plastic interacting with silicone-based lubricants. If you do choose to use silicone lube with this toy, it should be fine. There are no inserts or user's instructions that accompany the toy, so you're on your own in exploring its possibilities.

Personal comments

This little guy packs a huge punch. Considering its small size and the fact that it only takes two AAA batteries, it is amazingly powerful. It's perfect either for G-spot or clitoral stimulation, and I dig the versatility. It's just a great little toy that has earned a permanent spot on my bedside table.


I freaking adore this toy. I love how easily it can be used for either G-spot or clitoral stimulation, as I love a combination of the two. Using it for G-spot stimulation, I actually had a G-spot orgasm... one of only a handful that I've had in my life! It provides fantastic stimulation and is just such a strong little toy. I love its size especially, as it is so comfortable and easy to hold. My hands sometimes get tired from holding larger toys, and that is not a problem with Total Euphoria. My hand does get a bit numb though, as the vibrations extend strongly into the handle. The strength of vibrations allow for a rather fast orgasm though, so I've come before my hand really has a chance to get too numb. Honestly, it's probably one of my favorite toys. I don't think I'll let it out of my sight.
Follow-up commentary
Two months later, and this is still a regularly used toy of mine. And, as if by magic, it still has its original batteries in it with no decrease in power! This fact amazes me. I've also had a few opportunities to use this toy with a partner now. Because of the very specifically designed shape of the toy, it does not work well when my partner tries to use it on me; it is best used for solo play if G-spot stimulation is desired. If it's just vibrations that you want though, then partner up!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
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