What is it? The Orgasmo Clock is an alarm that wakes you up with the sounds of a woman having an orgasm,
Why you don’t want it: Okay, this seems like it would be a nice way to wake up but in reality everyone hates to be woken up regardless of what’s doing it and pretty soon the novelty will wear off and you’re going to start dreading hearing the sound of your alarm. Except instead of dreading the normal, irritating beeping like everyone else in the world, you’re going to start dreading hearing a hot chick having sex. Welcome to hell. Plus, you’ll probably develop a Pavlovian response so that whenever you hear a woman having an orgasm you’ll automatically feel sleepy and annoyed. That’s not supposed to happen until seconds after the orgasm. Stop fucking everything up, dude.
What is it? PantyO Kegel Exercise Panties.
Why you don’t want it: First of all, this product made me use the word “panties” three times already. I fucking hate that word. First strike, PantyO. Secondly, have you ever had a pair of underpants actually stay in place all day? Me either. So imagine the random surprises that a pair of underpants with a one-inch knob sewn into the crotch will bring you. It’s like sitting on an unexpected tack. all. day. long. Except that you can’t explain that you just jumped out of your chair during your business meeting because you sat on a tack because you didn’t sit on a tack. You sat on a plastic knob intentionally sewn into your underwear. That you paid $125 for. So that you can exercise your vagina. This is getting more baffling the more I explain it.
What is it:? Condometric. It’s a condom with a ruler printed on it.
Why you don’t want it: It’s a condom with a ruler printed on it.
What is it? Outpatient-fitted testicle prosthesis for men who are not satisfied with their “bothersome and extended scrotal sac.”
Why you don’t want it: Really? I don’t even have a ballsack and this made me flinch. Just stop. Your ballsack is not a bother. We’re not even looking at it, to be honest with you. I can’t believe I’m having to clarify this. Stop worrying about your ballsack. It’s fine.
Why you don’t want it: Okay, this seems like it would be a nice way to wake up but in reality everyone hates to be woken up regardless of what’s doing it and pretty soon the novelty will wear off and you’re going to start dreading hearing the sound of your alarm. Except instead of dreading the normal, irritating beeping like everyone else in the world, you’re going to start dreading hearing a hot chick having sex. Welcome to hell. Plus, you’ll probably develop a Pavlovian response so that whenever you hear a woman having an orgasm you’ll automatically feel sleepy and annoyed. That’s not supposed to happen until seconds after the orgasm. Stop fucking everything up, dude.
What is it? PantyO Kegel Exercise Panties.
Why you don’t want it: First of all, this product made me use the word “panties” three times already. I fucking hate that word. First strike, PantyO. Secondly, have you ever had a pair of underpants actually stay in place all day? Me either. So imagine the random surprises that a pair of underpants with a one-inch knob sewn into the crotch will bring you. It’s like sitting on an unexpected tack. all. day. long. Except that you can’t explain that you just jumped out of your chair during your business meeting because you sat on a tack because you didn’t sit on a tack. You sat on a plastic knob intentionally sewn into your underwear. That you paid $125 for. So that you can exercise your vagina. This is getting more baffling the more I explain it.
What is it:? Condometric. It’s a condom with a ruler printed on it.
Why you don’t want it: It’s a condom with a ruler printed on it.
What is it? Outpatient-fitted testicle prosthesis for men who are not satisfied with their “bothersome and extended scrotal sac.”
Why you don’t want it: Really? I don’t even have a ballsack and this made me flinch. Just stop. Your ballsack is not a bother. We’re not even looking at it, to be honest with you. I can’t believe I’m having to clarify this. Stop worrying about your ballsack. It’s fine.
I totally would want the condom with a ruler on it. But it's a metric ruler. And that ruins it.
I checked out the PantyO webiste earlier this week. Yeah. I'm with you on that one. And all the others, come to thing of it.
Umm....just wow. That whole ruler thing could seriously hurt a lot of guys' self esteem. I won't even go there with the panties.
I'm betting the ruler isn't ... you know.
Accurate.
The Kegel undies are just too much!!! I mean, really.
SERIOUSLY...you don't like the word panty... I super duper love the word panty, especially in multiples....PANTIES...love them. HOWEVER, add to it the word hose and I am done...dead and done. Bye.
dude...for some reason i actually clicked on "before & after pictures" of the ballsack surgery. it comes complete with grammatical error-filled descriptions like this:
"This is a 41 year old man. He was interested in Testicular Enhancement surgery for year. But he was very willing to have the biggest size possible. After the surgery he was very pleased to know that he has readched his life time dream of having his package as large as he can."
i haven't laughed this much in weeks
The ball prosthetics are also used by female-to-male transsexuals. A small ballsack is fine, but a lack of one could be embarrassing.
Um, yeah. That PantyO underwear is not only annoying but it is way freaking expensive. If I wanted a pair for uncomfortable and expensive underwear I'd just go to Victoria's Secret.
Lee
OOOO, I LOVE the word "panties." When I first started living with My Man, he called my panties "shorts" and I thought he was talking about denim SHORTS, like I wear in the summer, and it got very confusing and I had to explain to him that women don't call their panties "shorts." Only now, years later, there are "boy shorts" for women and that only confuses him more.
The condom with a ruler on it actually sounds cool.
Ballsack reconstruction and vagina surgery... what the fuck is with people?