Define This: In Praise of Pre-Cum

Why does nobody ever talk about pre-cum?

Why does nobody even write about it? Prior to sitting down at this article, I searched through SexIs to make sure nobody else had traveled the same direction as I planned. Turns out that nobody has traveled in this direction at all. A few passing references in a piece about something else, and pre-cum might as well be the Man in the Moon for all the attention that anyone gives it.

Well, all I can say is, you’re missing out.

Let’s get the biology out of the way first. Pre-ejaculate, aka preseminal fluid or Cowper’s fluid, is a clear, odorless emission that precedes the male orgasm, and essentially prepares the way for it. Cowper, incidentally, is also the casual name for the bulbourethal glands in which the fluid is manufactured, and which were named for William Cowper, the anatomist who first figured out what they did.

It acts as a lubricant, of course, and an acid neutralizer as well, which is essential for ensuring the safe passage of the sperm as they travel the length of the uretha. Acid (as found in urine) and sperm do not get along well. It can transmit certain STDs, and it is also, apparently, possible for it to carry a few over-enthusiastic fertile sperm, although medical opinion seems divided on that subject. None of which sounds especially appetizing, but we should not allow science to put us off. Because pre-cum (the hyphen is optional, but “precum” just doesn’t look right to me) is fun.

I talked, in another article, about how penises are packed with surprises; how, even when you think you have discovered all their secrets, they still have others up their sleeve. The first time I encountered pre-cum, it definitely fell into that category.

A boyfriend and I had arranged to meet that evening, and spent the day texting... let’s say “suggestive” promises. So much so that, by the time we actually got together, he admitted that he had been anticipating the evening’s activities with an impatience that bordered on a 911 call. “I’m really not going to last long,” I think were his exact words.

Then I saw the state of his penis. It was dripping. It was swimming. It was... weird.

“Ummm, why is it so wet?” I asked. (Isn’t it funny how we always call cocks “it”?)

“Oh, it’s only pre-cum” he replied, as though it was the most uninteresting thing in the world.

I paused.

Only.

Only?

Oh my god! GIMME!

I don’t know how I’d missed it in the past. From my subsequent reading, I discovered that there’s normally at least a little produced every time a guy has an erection - or, at least, an erection that he intends doing something with. But you’re not going to notice it when you have him in your mouth or your pussy, for obvious reasons of existing moistness.

Handjobs... well, there’s less excuse there, but I guess I just wasn’t looking close enough. Well, you don’t, do you? It’s like the first time I realized that in the moments before an especially long-awaited orgasm, an erect penis will suddenly have a little growth spurt, not so much that you could measure it with a tape, but enough that it might start bumping your nose, whereas before it was level with your lips. ”Oh my god, it does that as well?” The thing will be making coffee next.

Pre-cum. Odorless. Not exactly, and not always. There can definitely be a certain tanginess to it, a kind of ghost of an aroma that hangs in the very back of your mind as something you want to get more of. I think of it like being in a restaurant, waiting for the server to bring your meal, when he passes by with someone else's food, and you just get a whiff waft past from the plates.

Tasteless. Again, not always. It’s nowhere near as powerful as the main course, of course, and it’s easy to overlook amidst the other flavors that are drenching your taste buds when he’s inside your mouth. But focus your mind for a spot of forensics and you can certainly isolate something. Sometimes. I haven’t yet got around to testing my theory under laboratory conditions, but it does seem that the longer a guy has to wait with a hard-on and the more pre-cum he produces, the more potent (and we’re speaking in relative terms here) the taste and odor will be.

I like potent.

I like pre-cum too. I like dipping the tip of my tongue in it and swirling it around the helmet.

I like getting it on my lips and kissing him. I like the fact that it’s sticky.

Very sticky. A finger dabbed to the tip of his dick can stretch a droplet of pre-cum for a few inches, at least. As a lubricant, it can take some of the friction out of a tit fuck, and out of a handjob as well. Oh, and if your man is uncut, you’re probably a lot more familiar with the sight of it than if his foreskin has been removed. Because it pools in there and... oh, I don’t even want to write this... it is also the number one cause of smegma. “Knob cheese,” for those of a more graphic vocabulary. Which, I recently read (and I am so furious with myself for not bookmarking this for future reference) was once considered something of a delicacy by certain French fellatrices. Ummm.... yuk again? These days, it’s more of an occupational hazard that, upon discovery, can result in some harsh words being spoken.

The most important aspect of pre-cum, however, is - well, there’s two. The first is, it’s an indication that your man is ready to rock and roll, and watching as it is being produced is one helluva turn-on, at least for me. Kid him that you’re going to have a session of sixty-nine, and just keep an eye on his tip as he fulfills his side of the bargain. I’ve seen men leak like a sinking ship in that position.

The second is related to the first. It proves that his body is really into what he’s doing, which in turn proves that he’s really into you. Now, bear in mind that not all men produce pre-cum, and not all of those that do will produce it in especially noticeable quantities. But among those guys who can really let it flow, nothing says “hey babe, it’s time” than a penis head that’s as wet as you are.

Enjoy!