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Mr. Sexsmith's Other Girlfriend: Can Your Relationship Handle Valentine’s Day Gifts?

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Mr. Sexsmith ponders the implications of giving more than a relationship is ready for as we approach Valentine's Day. Is there such a thing as giving too much too soon?

  The Perfect Gift

This year, I keep telling people to get online queer porn memberships for their honeys for Valentine’s Day. I think it’s a perfect gift: It will last, for a month or for a year depending on what kind of membership you get; it will lead to some fun and sexy evenings while you’re sorting through all the various kinds of content on the site and figuring out which parts are your favorites and which are your lover’s favorites and where the overlap is; and it’s a great way to start having deeper conversations about things you might want to explore in bed. And what better kind of gift to give on Valentine’s Day than something which enhances and infuses passion into your sex life?

Isn’t that what most of the romantic gestures are for, anyway: To get laid?

(I’m going to go with “Yes” on that one.)

So check out some of the major queer porn producers, like Crash Pad Series, Heavenly Spire, QueerPorn.TV, No Fauxxx, and Hot Movies 4 Her to see if a video on demand membership might be a good idea this year.

If you want to go the traditional romantic route, there are always some classics that are effective: flowers, lingerie, chocolates, jewelry. And for the masculine types, I have some suggestions too—I frequently get asked for advice for what to give someone on the dapper side of the gender galaxy. I suggest belt buckles, ties, tie bars, cuff links, monogrammed handkerchiefs, a set of appropriately colored hankies for your particular kink (look up the Hanky Code if you need to), collar stays with secret romantic messages ... And us boys like flowers too, you know. Something with just a little touch of “I love you,” or “I know you and I know what you like,” will go a long way.

I always turn to Etsy for inspiration for this. It’s so easy: Does your honey like bicycles, and wear belts? Look up bicycle belt buckles. Or bicycle cuff links, or recycled bicycle tubes that are remade into belts or suspenders or all sorts of useful, cool things. You can often find really gorgeous hand-made items for less than $20, and if you have enough forethought, they’ll arrive in plenty of time before the holiday.

I used to be more into celebrating “Single’s Awareness Day” or whatever else on Valentine’s Day, but as I get older I appreciate romantic gestures more and more, and I like the excuses to celebrate love and romance and infuse relationships with a jolt of passion and fire.

Whatever you’re going to do this Valentine’s Day, I hope it’s a good one, I hope you find some good ways to express love to the special people in your life, and I hope you get the kind of lovin’ you most want in return.