1. The most bad-ass motherfucking pants ever.
2. Okay, I don’t even know what to say here. Is this safe for work? Is it supposed to be sexual? Because I can’t even tell anymore.
4. “Jimi Hendrixes pubes got stuck in the mold because I didn't lube them enough.” My God, haven’t we all been there? Answer: No. We haven’t.
5. You will never see Miss Piggy in the same way again.
6. Oh Japan. Why can’t I quit you?
7. “My, what a big…dolphin face you have?”
8. Vulva perfume. Not perfume for your vulva. Perfume that smells like your vulva. I don’t understand it either.
9. Personalized voodoo penis.
10. Ninth Annual Masturbate-a-Thon. It’s like a telethon. But with even more wanking.
Bonus! I can’t even stop watching this. Seriously. It’s frightening and awesome all at once.