Distance and high sex drives

Contributor: oohlookasquirrel oohlookasquirrel
I'm looking for advice here about how others in long-distance relationships deal with their sex drives. I keep finding myself horny as hell and masturbating several times a day, without being able to concentrate on other things. I am craving flirting and physical companionship, though, and my partner can only give me those things a few times a year. I'm feeling painfully unfulfilled and my partner knows it, but we're not sure what the next step is.

Anybody in a similar situation? How do you cope? Lots and lots of masturbation? A healthy fantasy life? Opening up the relationship? Just avoiding distance relationships to begin with? I'd love to hear others' experiences.
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
It sucked. It turned out I couldn't trust the girl at all. She was 'okay with it being open' so we tried that, I was sleeping with a guy on the side who I didn't have 'love' for , it was just casual sex... But eventually I realized that even just sex was better than being avoided and lied to by someone 700 miles away, so I just stopped.

I've never had a good long-distance relationship. *shrug*
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Master and I live on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Rather difficult, but I have two things helping me - college and Zoloft. The college is helping me keep focused on other things and the Zoloft has effectively killed my normally high sex drive. I hope to be off the stuff (or on something kinder) when we meet again.
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Originally posted by oohlookasquirrel
I'm looking for advice here about how others in long-distance relationships deal with their sex drives. I keep finding myself horny as hell and masturbating several times a day, without being able to concentrate on other things. I am craving ...
Phone sex and sexting. That's how I'm making mine work. I get super lonely and crave attention sometimes but I love my guy. Our phone sex sessions he talks dirty to me and then tells me how to use one of my toys.. it's pretty damn hot if you ask me. He also has this kind of "master" complex so we fit together rather well in that aspect.
Contributor: mandiegk mandiegk
I wish I had some good advice, but we still haven't found the best way to deal with it. Neither one of us wants to open the relationship, but we are really missing the companionship. Since we have been together so long we know how long we can go without the physical contact and just time our visits to when we hit the breaking point. Other than that, and a lot of masturbation, we still struggle.

I think you are your partner need to talk about what is best for you. I couldn't deal with being in an open relationship, but that might work for you and your partner.
Contributor: CSEA CSEA
It is hard for many people, because its the loneliness, the touch and feel. I believe when you have been together for awhile the love is already established its the companionship that is hard to deal with. you get used to being together. Skype, sexting, try anything and everything! I've heard some cute ideas such as skyping and having dates, both of you order chinese or pizza and video chat, just have an open mind and thorough communication
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I was in a monogamous long distance relationship for 9 months, and I've got a ferociously high sex drive. I was surprised, honestly, that I was pretty close to completely satisfied by webcam sex with my boyfriend-at-the-time. Watching him get off while he watched me get off... we were still able to talk to each other like we were there, and I was still able to feel like I was "doing something" for him, while getting myself off too. This was an every-night occurrence for us, but it really did seem to make me feel practically as good as PIV sex.
Contributor: oohlookasquirrel oohlookasquirrel
Thanks for your posts, everyone!

My boyfriend isn't really into phone sex or webcams because he's still learning to get comfortable with talking dirty and isn't an exhibitionist, and I'm not a huge fan of watching guys masturbate.

I do like the skype date idea. We do that sort of thing on occasion, but I should probably do it more often!

What I really want is a fuck buddy or similar. I really don't want to date anybody else because I love my partner so much and there's no way I'm going to find an "upgrade", but there are plenty of guys I could see myself having a fun sexy time with, without feeling the need to date or fall in love with them. My boyfriend and I have talked about opening up the relationship several times and, in theory, we both have permission to have sexy adventures when in periods of distance, but we haven't acted on it yet. He's so stressed out with work, which takes up a ton of his time, that I would feel really guilty complicating his life by bringing up the open relationship frequently, because it's like I'm constantly reminding him that he can't satisfy me himself (which is a silly thing to worry about, I keep telling him). I'll be talking about it with him a bit more when a good opportunity presents itself, but for now, I'm just reminding him every few days how much of a problem this sex drive is for me.

I hear opening up relationships is hard and takes a whole lot of conversation to do properly, so I'm sort of waiting until we have time for a few conversations before jumping in! I can't say I'm not sorely tempted to go act on it anyway, though, because I've been horny as hell lately, I technically have permission, and I am positive that I have friends who would be glad to help me out.
Contributor: KC Kitten KC Kitten
Sexting and open relationships
Contributor: mizzmilla mizzmilla
we just made sure to see each other more often
Contributor: RTC RTC
Skype is the Holy Grail for me! We love watching each other masturbate and do so often.
Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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