Happy valley realistic - realistic dildo by Happy Valley - review by ~LaUr3n~

Dildos are not something I have reviewed a TON of. I have a few and I've been happy with that. But lately, I have wanted to have a more realistic dildo. I'm not huge on the ultra realistic ones, but it seems that most people say those feel the best. So, I'm kind of easing myself in. I'd love to eventually try a replica penis or something that looks very realistic and feels that way too. For now, this is an in between. The Happy Valley Realistic dildo is realistic in a few ways and not in some others. The shape is amazing and looks fairly real despite the very shiny silver color. The head feels very real also, but the material is a bit too hard to fool me. I still REALLY love this dildo. It works well in a harness or for anal. This is one quality piece of dick! I would recommend it for vaginal, anal, or harness use. It is pretty long, but isn't super thick so many people can use this and find it fulfilling without being too much.

Happy Valley creates some amazing silicone! I have three of their products now and all of them are of a superior, 100% silicone that feels superior to many. The silicone is also very safe for the body because it is non-porous, phthalates and latex free, hypo-allergenic, and food-grade. I could not detect a smell or taste. The surface is pretty firm with little give and it does not stretch. It however it still fairly flexible if force is applied. This is not the type of dildo that you can do a helicopter whip around with. It is rigid and keeps it shape extremely well. This makes it great for thrusting and harness use. The surface is not sticky like jelly, but it does collect lint and hair. It is also a pain to remove without washing. I recommend always rinsing this toy before play to remove all of the particles.

For comparison to other toys, the Happy Valley Realistic is about as firm or slightly more firm than the following dildos:
Happy Valley Delight
Sedeux Flare
The Buzz
The Magnum

The Happy Valley Realistic is even more firm than these dildos:
Radiant Gems G-Spot
Dick Head
Nexus Jr.

It is much more firm than the Dream Cock.

I chose the Happy Valley Realistic because of a few reasons. For one, I love the pronounced head. While it is not large, a pronounced head is important to me since it is my favorite part of any good penis. Secondly, this dildo has semi-realistic texture that resembles veins. I hate the look of veins, but like the feel of them (picky I know), so this is the best of both worlds. The texture is "wavy" on the top portion of the dildo. This brings me to the under part which is also a reason I chose it and love it. Underneath the dildo is the pronounced ligament that I also love about penis shape. I have not found too many realistic dildos that also include this detail (unless they are replicas). I also wanted to try a dildo with balls. I have only tried one other dildo with balls and they were small. I like the balls because they are well shaped, slightly hung, but textureless (like I said some things are more realistic than others). They are even not the same size! One is slightly larger than the other which I thought was a cool touch. The veins are not symmetrical, so the balls shouldn't be either. The last thing I love is the curve it has. Not too much, too too little.

In terms of size, I also thought this would be great for the majority of what I chose it for. I wanted it for anal play in a harness (my male partner has one for DP), without, and a bit of vaginal play in addition to a clit vibrator. I was right, the size was great for all three. The total length, from base it tip of the curved penis is 7 1/2". The insertable length is around 6 3/4". The shaft is basically the same circumference after the head which is 4" around. The rest of the shaft is 4 1/2". The balls hang 2 1/2" lower than the shaft are are 3" wide across. They are 1 1/4" thick. Around the base of the shaft is a small shelf so it can be used with a harness. Unfortunately the balls made this weird to use with the harness we have. We had to flip it upside down so the balls were on top. WEIRD to look at and impossible to use because of the curve. It may work with some harnesses. It does work with my Princess harness very nicely. The balls fit perfectly behind the harness.

The base has a hole in the back for the bullet that it comes with. The bullet is traditional and silver like many you have probably seen before. It has the standard one button on the bottom. It fits easily into the hole, but doesn't so easily come out. Even when I push it all the way in the button sticks out just enough that it will turn on if set upright on a table.

This dildo is not discreet at all...obviously. What could be discreet about a large silver dildo with balls...nothing. It could be traveled with if you have a storage bag to keep the lint away, but it takes up quite a bit of room.

The Happy Valley Realistic performed amazingly. Vaginally, the curve hits all the right spots and the firmness made it great for g-spot stimulation. I could feel the ripples when I thrusted fast and could also feel the one speed bullet when it was turned on. I have a few other dildos with bullets but I have never been able to feel the vibration as strongly as this one. It made me want to take all of the dildo so I could feels the balls vibrate against me. Unfortunately...this proved to be hard for me. I was terribly dissapointed in my vagina! I could not take all of this guy easily. This came as a shock since my partner is a good inch longer and I can take him. I attribute this snag to the curve that the dildo has. My partner does not have a curve like this. Oh well! I still loved it vaginally!

But, anally is where it's at! For those who have been wanting more anal discussion in reviews, I have good news for you. This blew my mind. Seriously. The curve worried me, but it was phenomenal and not painful or uncomfortable at all. I love anal play (and anal sex), but most of my anal toys have been plug types. This is the first time I have successfully used a dildo for anal. It was unreal. As many toys as I have tried, I can't believe I didn't try this before. I guess I was so happy with how plugs felt, I never thought to try. This was easy to put at the edge of a bed, sit on it, and bounce by holding the balls. I was amazed by how much I could take within the first few seconds of using it. It easily falls out though so there is no keeping this in if you are laying on your stomach or standing. The balls are heavy!

In a harness, this was comfortable. I must say, it was must first experience for this too. I had never had a dildo with balls in my harness. Unfortunately, I have not used this to penetrate anyone...so maybe for the follow-up. I can say, form past experience, that this looks and feels like ti would work extremely well. it was weird to walk with balls hitting my thighs though!

There are a few tricks to cleaning the Happy Valley Realistic, but for the most part it is easy. Using soap and water is just fine for a quick clean. Remember to remove the bullet first though. I found it easier to not get water down the hole if I was doing a quick clean. You may need to take a bit of extra time to clean around the base since the balls fall close. It can also be boiled for 5-10 minutes or put in a dishwasher for sterilization.

Do not use silicone lubricants with this; they will ruin the material. A water based lubricant does just fine, even for anal. To store, wait for it to dry, and then place in a freezer sized Zip-lock bag. It is hard to place in any bag though. The material sticks to the sides.

The dildo comes in a plastic bag that is stapled shut with a cardboard topper. It isn't really reusable since it is so small, it becomes frustrating to try to put the dildo back in. It does also come with the 3 watch batteries needed to power the bullet.

Picture of the placement in a harness