The girl next door masturbator - masturbation sleeve by Cal Exotics - review by T&A1987

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Gives Vaginas a Bad Name.

This wasn't just bland, or difficult, it was all around unpleasant. If it hadn't resisted use with every stroke or felt a lot better or was easier to clean, it would have scored higher. Individually each element is annoying, but bearable, together they create a compound of sucknesium that barely earned its single star.
It was free.
Kinda cheap.
Small enough to store easily.
Creepy as hell.
Hard to insert and feels bland.
Difficult to clean and very porous.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


Reviewing realistic sleeves is a first that requires a change in the standard description of who would benefit from a sleeve. It stimulates the body of the penis, so only one group could benefit from this, men, straight men mostly, but just men. Women who like vaginas should buy toys that do more for lesbians than just sit around. You know what vaginas look like, you won’t be physically stimulated by this product since it doesn’t fit on any pleasure points, so what's the point?

Some sleeves are freestanding, to simulate the physical act of sex, but this is not one of them. With neither the length, nor the sturdiness of the Fleshlight, propping it against any surface will only result in the sleeve flopping around until it falls over. During the photoshoot for the review, it couldn't stand up long enough to get a quick picture, so it certainly wouldn't stand up long enough to be fucked. Freestanding sleeves are an investment, don’t go little or you won’t go in.

If the creepiness factor in realistic sleeves is a problem, using the sleeve won’t be easy. Perhaps because of the tightness, perhaps it’s just the design, but for some reason the only way to even have a chance of getting in requires maximum firmness. If the erection softens even the slightest, insertion is jeopardized, so a user had better like realism.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Experienced
    • Masturbation
    • Men
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • On a bed only

Material / Texture

Those familiar with the Fleshlight brand should recognize the material, pure skin TPR. It’s designed to be similar to the feel of human skin and create a realistic sensation. That may be the intent, but the implementation leaves much to be desired.

While there’s probably a lot of debate regarding how a disembodied vagina would feel, and most of that debate would be unsettling beyond all reason, “soft pink brick with a hole” probably wouldn’t be a common description. Not to be crass, but given the rigidity of the sleeve, inside and out, that’s the best description. While the exterior layer is soft like cheap velvet, the sleeve is hard and unwieldy, just like the erection trying to enter.

Before entering, condom up, even for those who don’t plan to share because the GND is porous and will never get completely clean. While it will be discussed in greater detail in the cleaning section,, germs will accumulate, especially if shared with other people.

Inside, the sensation wasn't much to write home about. The nubbles were they and they didn't hurt as spiral sleeves often do, but it wasn't all engrossing like Fleshlights, or some tengas. The best description is soft, but too subtle to be noticed.
    • Bumpy
    • Porous
    • Textured interior

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The GND failed for more reasons than just the creepiness factor, although that contributed heavily. It was also nearly impossible to enter, didn’t stay on and required far more effort to use than most sleeves. But yeah, it was a creepy mo-fo too, yeesh.

To better explain the creepiness, here take a gander at this baby.

Not bad on its own, as far as realistic sleeves go. At 5.5 inches wide and 2.5 inches long, it fits any size user, in theory at least, and doesn’t have any obvious flaws. To figure out why this fails, it needs a more in-depth analysis. Start by looking inside.

Yeah see, that was more realism than necessary. The inside could have been fake, uncolored nubbles and felt just as good, if not better.

If appearance was the only problem the rating would be higher, appearance is in the eye of the beholder. Using the sleeve proved to be its undoing, due to its firmness and difficult entry, a change from every other sleeve I’ve ever encountered. During insertion attempts, the penis either wouldn’t go in, missed the opening entirely or inserted a centimeter in, before plopping right back out. The only way to insert without trouble is to stretch the opening to its maximum capacity and then place the entire sleeve over the penis. Female readers may need to take a minute to bleach that image from their mind, I’ll wait.

Okay and we’re back. After insertion, the sleeve still resisted every attempt at use, by slipping off every other stroke, unless held down with a vice grip. Keeping a tight fist long enough to finish, left my hand sore and after a while may have resulted in carpel tunnel syndrome. It didn’t help that the curves of the sleeve seemed to work against the design of my hand.

No one should use this toy, but especially not sleeve newbies. Figuring out how a sleeve works can be surprisingly difficult and if the first choice is a bad one, it leaves the user confused to how they actually work. When I first tried a sleeve, the Super Sucker, I didn’t understand what the big deal was about sleeves because the opening was so large I barely felt anything. It wasn’t after trying better sleeves that the hoopla made sense. Had this been the first sleeve I ever tried, I likely wouldn’t have ever purchased another, due to how onerous it is to even fit it over the penis.

Discreteness, or lack thereof kind of goes without saying, but let’s discuss it anyway. If someone found this lying in a room, would there be any question of what it does?

No, no there wouldn’t, this is clearly a fapping sleeve. Unlike more unique and bizarre sleeves, like Tenga, which a user can explain away, it would take a politician grade liar to explain how the GND isn’t a sextoy.
    • May be too tight for some
    • Realistic
    • Tight fitting

Functions / Performance / Controls

Most sleeves don’t work well in water and this is no different. The problem is the TPR Silicone, which cannot be exposed to non water based lubricants. Water based lubes rinse off really quickly, especially if the penis keeps slipping out from the sleeve into cascading jets of water. A more durable lube, oil or silicone based for example, might work, but since it interacts poorly with the material, they’re off the table. Using this in the water will be nothing but a waste of lube, water and the electricity to heat the water.
    • Hard to figure out
    • Not very stimulating

Care and Maintenance

Ask any Fleshlight user about their biggest complaint and they’ll say the same thing: the arduous cleaning process. The GND has the same problem, but as the previous sections explain, none of the benefits. The high porosity of the GND demands a lengthy cleaning process, after cleaning and preparation before every use.

First, before every use, the sleeve must be pulled inside out and rinsed with warm water and antibacterial soap. This is no easy task however, as the material seems to resist every attempt to distort from its original form. Only a sturdy pull and a firm grip will be able to turn it inside out, otherwise it will just flip back.

Afterwards, lie it on a towel to dry for about 10-20 minutes, shake the excess water out and lie it down for another 10 minutes before using. After use, repeat the previous process and cover the GND in a dry powder, such as corn starch, but not talc, which has been linked to cervical cancer. Granted this may not be as relevant to a man, still for those in a hetro relationship, why cover the penis in a carcinogen and risk later having sex without wiping it off?

Since this material can absorb dyes, chemicals and germs from other toys, they must be stored in isolation. Its box is a good container, a plastic bag or an unused sock would also work well. It must be kept away from other toys at all times.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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  • Lildrummrgurl7
    Thanks for the review.
  • Zandrock
    Excellent review
  • Stinkytofu10
    Great review, thank you!
  • RedKyuubi
  • Missmarc
    Great review, thank you!
  • Tristan's Everything
    great review ty
  • Lavendar
  • MrWishyWashy
    Great job, thank you!
  • no longer here
    Thanks...REALLY enjoyed reading your style.
    Great info...won't be getting this one.
  • Falsepast
    Thanks for the pics
  • Fluke
    looks really small
  • Hubby80
    Thank you for the review.
  • The B man
    thank you
  • ImaGodiva
    Nice review, great pictures of a very ugly thing!
  • angel142stx
    Thanks for the review
  • jeangel246
    Thanks for the review
  • sweetpea12
    Thanks for the great review!
  • shotjuan
    Sorry you didn't like it. I was considering getting it. Maybe I'll look elsewhere.
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