The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy - guides to a better sex by Cleis Press Inc. - review by AndroAngel

Violet Blue really knows her stuff. As an adult video and book reviewer, not to mention a sex educator, she has a lot of knowledge to share, and she shares it well. This is the first book by Violet Blue I've read, but you better believe I'll be buying more of her work. She's well-versed in psychology and extremely knowledgeable. I was impressed by how well-researched "The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy" is. It makes me think very highly of Blue as an author and educator. She has her own website, [www.tinynibbles.com|www.tinynibbles.com], where you can find more information about her, her books, sex information, sex culture commentary, erotica and more.

"The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy" is a wonderfully inclusive book. It can be read by anyone who might want more information about sexual fantasies, how to use fantasies to your advantage, and how to safely turn them into reality. Violet Blue writes in a conversational tone that makes this book easy and fun to read. If a paragraph isn't necessary, she shortens it to a list. For important information in each section or useful tidbits that don't fit the flow of the "conversation," she uses toolbox asides to give information. She also presents information in a matter-of-fact manner that makes even topics that may not be your cup of tea easy to read and learn about. Many of the chapters also include an erotic short story that demonstrates a bit of what was covered in the chapter. I find that overall the stories tie in extremely well with the subject matter.

In the first chapter, "Choose Your Own Adventure," Blue introduces the topics she's going to cover, explains a bit of the psychology of fantasy, and gives some sources that fantasy material can be drawn from.

In chapter two Blue discusses incorporating fantasy into your masturbation routine, using toys, changing habits, and learning to orgasm easier or in different ways through fantasy.

Chapter three is about incorporating fantasy into coupled sex, and discussing fantasies with a partner.

From there, Blue explains various fantasy scenarios and how to incorporate them into your sex life, safely. She even discusses options for how far into a fantasy a couple might want to go and gives suggestions to enhance the fantasy. For instance, she suggests that for a multi-partner fantasy, sometimes it doesn't need to go past talking about it or imagining another person in the bed and sometimes a couple might want actually to include a third person. She also gives considerations to take into account for each fantasy as well.

Some of the fantasies she covers are various role play scenarios, multi-partner sex, dirty talk, strip teases, lap dances, erotic massage, going to a strip club, hiring a prostitute, phone sex, phone sex hotlines, public sex, a wide array of fetishes, BDSM, hiring a Dominatrix, BDSM related clubs, swinging, sex parties, sex games, making porn for personal use, erotic photography, cybersex, and more.

The last two chapters of the book are dedicated to safer sex and resources, respectively. The safer sex chapter discusses preventative measures that can be used to help prevent the spread of STDs and STIs. It also has a helpful risk-factor chart that explains which STDs and STIs can be spread through various activities. The resources chapter is broken down by topic and has book, website and video recommendations for further information. Some of the web addresses are outdated, but that is to be expected.

I think the cover art of the book is well laid out. The typography and color scheme are well laid out, and overall it looks quite nice. The photo hints at being sexual without being overt. I do wish this was a hardcover book, though. I'm not sure it will stand up well over time.

It is however, a very comfortable size. It's not an oversized book, which is a major plus.

I feel the subject matter from each chapter flows exceptionally well into the following chapters. "The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy" is organized so that you're presented with the information you'll need in the order you'll need it. Blue does a good job of always referencing which chapter relevant information can be found in and where in the chapter to look, as well. It makes the subject matter easier to comprehend. In the few instances she refers to something she covers in later chapters, she also lists what chapter it will be covered in.

I learned some things about myself from this book that I didn't know. For instance, it helped me acknowledge a fetish that I've had for a while that I'd never really put much consideration into. I also think the massive amount of suggestions laced throughout the pages of this book are going to get some serious consideration.

I'm also thoroughly impressed with how well-founded her suggestions are. I've used similar techniques to the ones she mentions in her chapter on masturbation in the past with great success. For example, she suggests, "Digging into what turned you on most recently is a technique for becoming aroused again, and reliving the experience provides a stepping-stone to better controlling or intensifying your arousal." I've found that particular piece of advice to be true, and I've used it to shorten the amount of time it takes for me to orgasm solo.

She also says that, "When you want to incorporate a new technique into your sex life, such as deep-throating or vaginal fisting, begin by fantasizing about it while you masturbate." Although I didn't get this piece of advice from her, I used a similar method to learn to relax into anal sex, and I've never had any difficulty. She goes into wonderful detail in this section, so I recommend it.

I also love that she suggests that both partners should be clear on their expectations in a role play scenario. I've had a scene flop spectacularly because we didn't discuss in advance what we wanted. The same scene was massively pleasurable and arousing the second time we attempted it because we talked over what we wanted to get out of it in advance.