Edible undies female by Kingman - review by lexical

Barely Edible, No Pun Intended

Put your mouth to better use. Don't even bother with these things. Skip the underwear all together and get straight down to business, sans the terrible attempt at fruity flavor.
I can't think of any.
Gross tasting, uncomfortable, and ugly.
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
I'm going to open this review by saying...These things are absolutely nasty. And not in the good way. More in a "Eww, why in the world did I put that in my mouth?" kind of way, rather than a "Ooh, that was hot and dirty" kind of way. I was given a pair of these as a gag gift and tried them on and tasted them out of pure curiosity before throwing them into the trash and vowing to never again subject myself or anyone else to such visual and oral torture.

These "panties" are uncomfortable and they look completely unappealing, even as a silly prank undergarment...They are not at all sexy. They don't fit well on larger framed women, although I doubt even a waifish, skinny gal could pull these things off and make them look good. Not only that, but they taste TERRIBLE. They look silly, they fit funny, and they taste like some god awful combination of chalky cardboard and vaguely fruity plastic. They're simply a bikini or thong type of "garment" made up of a flimsy, crinkly kind of material. Think of a kind of plastic cling wrap slash fruit roll up hybrid and you're getting warmer.

I'm not sure I even understand the concept of these. Are they supposed to be licked off of you? Getting the material slightly damp causes it to slowwwly "melt" away, leaving everything around it sticky and dyed a funny brownish-red color. If you intend to lick through them to reach what's underneath, it is going to involve some pretty seriously determined licking and I can think of much better ways to tire out a tongue than suffering through the flavor of this product. If you want edible undies, you'd probably be better off trying to make up some creative concoction yourself. Or better yet, skip the undies and put those mouths to a more practical, far more enjoyable, use.

For some reason, the review system is not allowing me to give this product zero stars. I put one star, but don't be fooled. I don't think this item deserves even that.
Follow-up commentary
Out of sheer curiosity, I've spent a little time searching for different varieties of edible undies. There appear to be a few different types, from crotchless gummy ones held on by elastic straps to hard candy on strings to the plasticky ones in this review. Not only that, but there are matching bras, even! And versions for men as well! Wow. The opportunities for undergarments you can eat are apparently endless. However...No one seems to be doing it right. They may just be a novelty, but I still feel that they should maintain some level of sexiness and aesthetics. None of the types I've found are remotely visually pleasing. I want some eye candy, as well as better flavoring!

On a sidenote... during my search, I found plenty of homemade versions of edible underwear! From a knitted thong made out of Twizzlers to a pair of bejeweled boy shorts made out of BEEF JERKY!!! I kid you not. I even saw a bra made out of raw bacon and frosted cookies shaped like underpants. Apparently, the quest for high-quality, delectable dainties continues...

P.S. Here is a pretty perfect photograph of what these panties might look like on your body. Not to worry, in this image, they're worn over jeans.
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Do you like this review?
  • Positwist
    Wow. Thanks for suffering the awfulness of these things so the rest of us don't have to!
  • Stinkytofu10
    I'd like to see the picture, but the link doesn't work
  • yarii
    thank you!
  • Wolfi
    Nice review.
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