The screaming octopus - discreet massager by The Screaming O - review by ToyGeek

Too Cute to Hide

The screaming octopus is a fun little toy that will be enjoyed, but keep your expectations in line with the size of the toy. The shower is its preferred environment, so if you're not willing to take it there, don't blame the toy.
It's an adorable little octopus.
The vibrations might not be enough for some.
Rating by reviewer:
useful review


The Screaming Octopus is a tiny waterproof vibrator that can be used on pretty much any external body part, plus it looks cute sitting on your desk, if you can keep a straight face while claiming it's main function is scalp massages.

Material / Texture

It's made of very soft and flexible TPR, with tiny little suction cups on its underside for texture. It lacks an odor of any kind.

Design / Shape / Size

This is a very tiny toy, very easily hidden in a change purse, or if you're the type of person who routinely keeps silly toys of the non-erotic variety scattered about, it can be hidden in plain sight. I'm borderline psychotic about hiding my vibrators, but this one is on my desk, mixed in among the toy robots and die-cast spaceships.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The vibrations aren't very strong, and I'm a little too uptight to play with toys in the shower, so I actually have purposed this one as my scalp massager. I get tension headaches, and this is just the thing to coax the muscles in my forehead and the back of my neck into relaxing.

When put through a trial run for its intended purpose, I found the vibrations surprisingly strong considering the toy runs on watch batteries, but still not quite strong enough to finish the job. It would make a great warm-up toy, and taken in the shower, I can see how it would team up with the shower head to take care of business.

Used in conjunction with a stronger vibe, it transmitted the vibrations well, and the little legs danced quite merrily, but holding things in exactly the right position to accomplish that is a little tiring for the wrist. I'd imagine it would perform better in that regard if I had a partner. But alas, I'm a loner.

Care and Maintenance

It's waterproof, so cleaning is a snap. Spritz it with toy cleaner, or rinse it with soap and water. Lube seems unnecessary, but would be harmless enough. It stores nicely in a change purse or wrapped in a small piece of cloth.


It comes packaged in a small and inoffensive plastic box that's easily flattened and slid in among your other recycling.
Follow-up commentary
To be honest, I quickly bored of this one for its intended purpose, but as a desk toy, I'm fond of it. It looks cute with other toys on my desk -- toys of a non-adult variety -- and I like it for fending off tension headaches. My lack of interest in it as a shower companion probably has more to do with my personal preferences, and less to do with the toy itself.

I'm very impressed that the batteries still work.
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Do you like this review?
  • Kachwa
    Thanks for the review! What a cute toy.
  • ......
    Nice review!
  • Sugar Sweet
    lol I'd want to put it on my cell phone XD It's just too cute!
  • Lady Neshamah
    great review
  • IndependentlyHappy
    Ha, that's great that you found an alternate use for it. Thanks for the review.
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