Sex & Society » Reproductive Rights, Opinion: "I love you so much I decided not to have you."

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I love you so much I decided not to have you.

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Can making the decision not to have children be an expression of love?


Contributor: AndroAngel

Bravo! I almost wrote on this topic before life got in the way, I'm so glad you did. This is wonderful.

Contributor: True Pleasures

You are not alone. I feel as thought I could have written this myself. I have absolutely no inclination towards children, and no "motherly instinct". Like you, it was difficult for me to even tolerate children when I was a children.

Unfortunately, as a married female, I'm expected to want children with all of my heart. Fortunately, my mother understood and never pushed. It took my father quite a while to get over his delusions. My other relatives, and friends of relatives, still do that horribly goofy "oh, you'll want kids sometime", until I sternly tell them that my husband has been "fixed". It's always fun to say it that way, since it usually gives them at least a little bit of a shock that I would say that. Of course, he has had a vasectomy. It's not like I'm lying. I'm just fluffing it up so they'll lay off.

I wish more people would take their own qualifications into consideration before deciding to have a child. Bringing another being into this world is a huge responsibility. Some people, though, like my brother-in-law and his girlfriend, though, just see it as playing house. Neither of them have a job, he's barely making it through school, and neither of them are all that bright. According to my husband's parents, they say he has some mental issues.

That's another thing that saddens me; people not thinking about their own health issues before possibly passing it on to offspring, just because they want a child. They don't think about that future child's well-being. All that matters is that they have a child that is "theirs". I just don't understand how you could do that to someone. How could you possibly damn them to a life of horrible health issues, just because of your desire for a child made from your genes?

Contributor: Rin (aka Nire)

Thank you so much for writing this. For so many reasons, I do not desire children. The first reason is simply that I have minimal interest in them. Lots of people have trouble comprehending that, including my own father (my mother and older brother thankfully are much more understanding), and now I have an article that I might actually send to him if he ever really presses the issue.

Contributor: datop2nite69

Omg I feel you. Me and My girlfriend had planned to have kids together. She have one and I. But I choose now to not bring children into the world/INTO our lives. I want to continue to love her and be loved with out any interruptions. we love to move around and of course I wouldnt want to uproot our kids from school and their friends. I know what it was like to be the new kid too many times, and then struggling with coming out. no thank you.



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