Steak: A Guide for the Carnal Carnivore

The Main Attraction (At Least, in the Kitchen)

Ready to get hands-on? Let’s talk technique.
• Cleanliness is as good for food as it is for sex. Be sure that anytime you handle raw meat, you wash your hands thoroughly before touching anything else. I use the “raise your hand” trick: I handle raw meat only with one hand, then hold it up over my head until I wash it. This gives me the other hand to do anything time-sensitive before I get to scrub, and it’s hard to accidentally touch something with my contaminated hand.
•Heat and lube are as important for steak as it is for your love life. Start with a hot pan. Your steak does not require foreplay! While the pan heats, rub your meat with olive, vegetable or canola oil. This will help keep the steak from sticking to the pan and will help keep the seasonings stuck to the steak.
•Salt and pepper are steak’s unsung heroes. Sprinkle both liberally onto your lubed-up meat. I recommend kosher salt the chef’s salt of choice. Kosher salt (or sea salt) has larger granules than table salt, but is less “salty” to the tongue. This means that kosher salt flakes cling to the steak better, and end up more evenly distributed. Freshly cracked black pepper, of course, is the best accompaniment.
• Knowledge is key. Learning how to cook a steak to a specific doneness can’t be learned from reading an article. Practice and an excellent cookbook (okay, or the Food Network, if you must) are your friend. All of this will be of no use, though, unless you know how your lover likes his or her meat. Most people are as picky about their steaks as they are about their sex. A slab of beef that’s overdone and tough, or so rare you can still hear the moo, can be quite the mood-killer, depending on your sweetie’s tastebuds.