ODE TO RANDY (a poem)

Randy, I love you
more than any other toy
You are my main boy
You bring me such joy


Yes, this giant blue dildo is my main squeeze, and I think he has made my husband a tad bit jealous. I mean, really, how could anyone compete with a cock as thick as a beer can and twice as sexy? ...Not that I've been fooling around with any beer cans lately -- or ever!

Randy is a very high quality silicone dildo made by Vixen. He is thick. VERY thick... Just the way I like it. The beer can comparison is not an exaggeration -- when I wrap my hand around the shaft, my fingers have to stretch to touch my thumb. If you are shy about a toy with some girth, stay away from this bad boy because he will give it to you like no other. I would recommend Randy for vaginal use only since the flared base doesn't seem quite wide enough to safely keep this beast from getting trapped in your heiney. Try it at your own risk!

The material is also softer than some other silicone toys I own, and the base is quite bendy. It is quite hefty, as well. This suppleness and weight are wonderful traits, in my opinion. It makes for a very realistic feel. If you give it a squeeze with your hand, there is some give to it -- just like the real thing. It is another reason to avoid butt play though, since the base is so flexible that you can squish it all up to be the same width as the shaft. 'Whoopsie' would not be the word of choice if this thing got lost in your hindquarters.

As with most silicone, Randy picks up lint like an actual lint roller. I haven't tried rolling the dog hair off my black pants with him yet, but I recommend washing it before use (and after, of course!). Also, being silicone, never use silicone lube on this dildo or you will be very sad that you ruined a $75-$80 toy. I have been using coconut oil for months now with no ill effects.

I said Randy has made my hubby jealous, but he is still willing to play with Randy and me. On days when he comes first, he gallantly uses Randy on me, like a champ. I often like to use Randy solo, because he is great as a fill-me-up toy. Not a lot of in and out motion is required if he is just sitting inside me and I stimulate my clit to orgasm. I can really feel the muscle contractions around such a thick object so much better. It has really trained my body to have a much deeper full body orgasm.

Just a side note- I have birthed two children vaginally, so I might be more able to accommodate a larger toy than some. Consider this if you have never had kids. You might need to work your way up to this size gradually.

My all-time favorite toy is still my all-time fave. As the title suggests, I do love Randy to the extreme. If anybody is looking for a nice, thick toy that will fill you to the max, Randy is the one for you. I still appreciate the high quality silicone material and easy cleaning too.