*Randy* may have a really horrible name, but that's the only thing that's unbecoming about him. This fat, pure silicone dildo is a fantastic addition or even staple to the size queen's toy collection. Since meeting him, nothing else really satisfies me some days. I just need his epic girth! His wonderful width isn't shrouded by an equally gargantuan length, either, which allows for full penetration and keeps the toy 100% functional. No dead weight, nothing extra. Just the girth I crave.

This waterproof dildo features an incredibly strong suction cup, beautiful abstract phallic shape and mildly-pronounced head. It's a one-of-a-kind toy, unique in its class, and I'm never going to part with it.

And for a fickle sex toy collector such as myself, that's really saying something.

Randy can be used to stimulate the G-spot in all its magnificent glory, or for the very advanced, the P-spot or rectum may be worked using this toy. His G-spot curve and pronounced head coupled with sheer thickness ensure that your spot will be hit every time. His flared base also makes him anal-safe and harness compatible. What more could you want, really?

Vixen Creations Inc. (VixenCreations.com) has created yet another pure silicone masterpiece. Gorgeous swirls of intense color ribbon up and down the shaft of the toy, enhancing the artistic nature of the piece.

The silicone used here is fairly firm - about an 8.5 on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being the hardest silicone I've ever felt. Enough give is present in the shaft of the toy that thrusting is never painful unless one is simply being too rough.

The toy can be slightly floppy despite its firmness, but only at the base. In a harness, Randy stands erect but is not immobile, and as a wall-adornment he can jiggle with the best of them, if jiggling is something you're aiming for.

The satin finish used here is incredibly smooth and shiny. No resistance or texture is felt at all when thrusting, and even less so when lube is used.

This pure silicone toy has no smell or taste, and is compatible with waterbased lubes. Any silicone lube used with this needs to be patch-tested first for compatibility. Silicone lubes and silicone toys often don't mix - you may end up with a melted toy. Try it though! If a small patch in an unnoticeable area doesn't react to the lube, you're good to go.

I sought Randy out specifically for his girth, and was even more surprised when I found he was reasonable in length. An ample 2 1/8" diameter coupled with the moderate 6 1/2" length - perfect! My cervix rejoiced. She does NOT take kindly to a beating, and my other large toys are too long for us to use any more than about 40% of their length. This can lead to a tired hand or an awkward half of the toy sticking out of me during use. Randy is everything I need, and nothing I don't.

The moderately-pronounced corona on Randy gives him a more phallic, realistic look, which is not my favorite for two reasons. First, I have an aversion to penises in general. Secondly, this toy is so wide that if my vagina isn't 100% ready for it, the head will catch on my pubic bone and cause discomfort. Similarly, thrusting must be careful, and never completely out before back in. Completely removing the toy before thrusting back in can result in an irritated vagina - all that popping in and out of the fat corona isn't pleasant.

Still, when working my way up to a fisting from my girlfriend, masturbating and needing serious G-spot stimulation, or simply foreplaying with a partner, Randy is almost always just what I need.

Randy weighs in at a full pound, which means you can use him as a pseudo-weapon if you like. Hitting people in the face with dildos is pretty much always a good time.


The fact that he can be used in a harness, suction-cupped to a wall or shower floor, or really anywhere, make him that much more appealing. I have yet to use him for this purpose, but the flared base is perfect for harness play, and his suction cup is so damn strong it's unbelievable.

I don't recommend Randy for beginners to sex play, or for those with vaginal canals that are considerably narrow, naturally. Unless you're a complete size queen, you're going to want to skip this toy. But for us queens, Randy is IT.

When I first got Randy, I stuck him to my wall and let him sit there, to see if houseguests would notice, and promptly crack up. It worked. In fact, it almost worked too well. Randy suction cups himself to any flat, smooth surface with such a strength, you'll be hard-pressed to get him off of it at times! His strength surprised me, but it shouldn't... his girth alone makes him a beast.

In a harness, Randy will require a 2" O-ring and an O-ring compatible harness. He'll stand erect for you with his thick sturdy base and pleasure your partner until the cows come home. There's really nothing he can't do.

If you're into temperature play, this pure silicone dildo won't let you down. Sitting Randy in a bowl of warm water for several minutes will result in his warming up to a pleasantly soothing temperature. You can also place him in the fridge or freezer for a few minutes to cool him down for a new, exciting sensation. Be sure, however to always, ALWAYS test the toy on the inside of your wrist, holding it there and counting to 10, before using it internally. Burns are the last thing we want inside our bodies!

After use, soap and water will suffice for a quick washing. Sterilization between uses can be achieved by boiling Randy for ten minutes. I recommend sterilizing at least every other time you use him, and every single time you use him anally, or between uses when he's being shared with a partner.

A little pouch of his own will come in handy when storing or traveling with him, as he tends to collect dust a bit. I like to rinse him off before using him, as he just about always has some kind of fuzz. I've found the absolute best solution for this is wrapping him in tissue paper before storing him.

Randy came in a simple plastic box showcasing his immense beauty on the front. No instructions or details on cleaning or care were provided, but this is a fairly self-explanatory toy. The box is not discreet at all, but can be reused for storage if you so choose.

Vixen Creations Inc. was formed in 1991 in San Francisco and started as a company made by women. There are men in the ranks today but it remains primarily a female-dominated company. This is refreshing, as well as something I can stand behind. I thoroughly enjoy quality products made by women, right here in the USA!

VC is so confident in their high-quality toys that all their silicone products are backed by a lifetime guarantee. Isn't that wonderful? As if you weren't already confident that your silicone toy was going to outlive you, Randy's makers ensure that he will.

I love Randy, and he opened me up, literally, for my first successful fisting experience. This is something I'll never forget - a bond we'll always have. Still, if I'm not UBER-turned on, his bulbous head is a little much for me, and can get uncomfortable. I'm going to try out his cousin, the Hottie Xtra, and see if he and I don't get along even better than my ol' pal Randy, that Gucci-wearin' dildo, have.